Category: Spurs preview

Categories
Spurs preview

Spurs – Sunderland Preview: Are Tottenham A Club In Crisis?

Are we a club in crisis? While I hate to disappoint the doom-mongers and mischievous press-men, it is a little too hasty to go down that route just yet.Come the full-time whistle we ought to have a clearer idea of where we stand. Naturally, this being White Hart Lane, moderation is not welcome. Our fortunes tomorrow will swing wildly one way or t’other, either back on track to challenge the top four, or sliding irreversibly towards mid-table obscurity and worse. Such is life at the Lane.

We’re Doomed I Tell Ye, DOOMED 

Relax. We’re Fine. Chill, Winston. 

We’re not as good as the top three, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. We’re competing for fourth, and will continue to do so as long as we show that the Stoke defeat was an anomaly. Until Stoke we were generally picking up points against the mid-table/bottom-half teams, and this trend needs to be continued throughout the season and beginning tomorrow.

Good News From The Fixture-List 

AANP’s Prayer For Tomorrow

After the Stoke debacle, the prayer of choice being humbly offered heavenwards is that we score early tomorrow, or at least score first. Without Modric (and possibly Lennon) we lack the je ne sais quoi to unlock a deep-lying, packed defence set on gaining a point from first minute to last (see Stoke). Score an early goal however, and we’ll be laughing. Well, maybe not laughing – being Tottenham, we’ll find a way to complicate things – but at least scoring an early goal will allow us space and counter-attacking opportunities.

I therefore find myself hoping that Sunderland have a go at us, or at least resist the urge to set up two banks of four, and then just sit back and repel. Should they venture forward (and the chances of this are obviously exponentially increased if we get the first goal) there will be a bit of space behind them to exploit. They will henceforth become putty in our hands, and we shall toy with them. As flies are to wanton boys shall the trailing Sunderland be to counter-attacking Tottenham. Then the final whistle will go and we’ll all live happily ever after, for a fortnight.

Worst-Case Scenario

We Spurs fans have turned the Ludicrous-and-Disproportionate-Howl-of-Anguish-and-Baying-for-Blood into an art-form. Another insipid defeat tomorrow would be like releasing a coiled spring of vitriol, and the hills will be alive with the sound of calls for the whole team to be sold, ‘Arry’s coaching staff sacked and football destroyed forever.

Place Your Bets

Darren Bent will score, ‘tis written in the stars.

 

As ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the featured players in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann hereY

ou can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here

Categories
Spurs preview

Arsenal – Spurs Preview: Good News and The Usual Grumble

Normally the points in this fixture are rather an irrelevance, but this time there is more at stake than just bragging rights. The sides go into the game separated only by goal difference, and the three points up for grabs could prove crucial come May. Ultimately, league position is the gauge, and this season for a change we have a realistic chance of finishing above l’Arse. Our squad is much improved, a degree of consistency has been added and player for player there isn’t much to choose between the two teams, even in the absence of our pint-sized attacking triumverate. Plus, unlike the last time we challenged them, Paul Stalteri is now nowhere near the squad. Irrespective of the result tomorrow, the gap has narrowed and come the end of the season we could well finish higher than them.I earnestly suggested all this to my l’Arse-supporting colleague at lunch today, and while he nodded politely enough he could not disguise a smirk. Which speaks volumes.

The Good News

The good news is that Ledley is back. “Good news” is an understatement, for these are almost certainly the three greatest words in the English language.

Woodgate may be available; Crouch – threatening a robot celebration if he does the business tomorrow – has a hat-trick to his name against l’Arse, in his previous incarnation as a scouser; while Bentley must have gazed at his reflection in the White Hart Lane mirrors even more adoringly than usual after his excellent performance as Lennon’s deputy on Tuesday, against Everton. Full-strength we may not be, but strong nevertheless.

The Usual Grumble 

Curiously, for a man so uniquely capable of inspiring a thousand foul-mouthed tirades from his own fans, Jenas has a rather impressive pedigree against l’Arse. A couple of years back he scored a lovely last-minute equaliser at the Lane; and a year ago almost to the day he produced an absolute blinder at the death in the 4-4 game, the sort of goal about which pundits and fans alike would been raving all season if scored by anyone who wasn’t Jermaine Jenas.

I also recall, with some bewilderment, that there was a brief period under Wendy Ramos when Jenas grew his hair and became awesome. He genuinely looked like he had indeed stepped up a level, and his feats included the first goal in the 5-1 spanking of l’Arse. It proved the exception rather than the norm in his career, but provides some cause for optimism.

Things I’d Like To See on Saturday: Absence of Kamikaze 

My wish-list for this week therefore comprises things I don’t want to see happening. Like Sergeant Wilson picking up two reckless yellow cards. Or Robbie Keane having a penalty saved. Or Gomes dropping a clanger. There would be something quintessentially Spurs about doing all the hard work and then gifting away the game on a plate, through one moment of madness.

I was going to end with a little SWOT analysis of our opponents, but then I realised I don’t actually care about them. Instead, have another viewing of Bentley’s greatest moment in lilywhite.

 

As ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann hereY

ou can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here

Categories
Spurs news Spurs preview

Spurs – Everton Preview: Premiership Points or Carling Cup?

If you enjoy those 15 half-time minutes when the subs come trotting out and half-heartedly ping the ball around, you’ll love tonight. Pav, Bentley, Hutton and Bale are all in line to start, as ‘Arry rings the changes with half an eye (in a manner of speaking) on Saturday’s game.

League or Cups? (Why Not Both?)

The absences of King, Woodgate, Lennon, Modric and Defoe force most of the changes upon us irrespective of the prioritising. The only optional changes ‘Arry is likely to make are in attack – where I suspect most of us would like to see Pav get his chance anyway – and in the full-back positions.

My tuppence worth is that I don’t particularly want to see Hutton and Bale in for Charlie and BAE at full-back. This has less to do with the quality of the personnel (I’m rather a fan of Bale as it happens) as the fact that our team is already mightily disrupted with all the injuries. Making unenforced changes on top of those is asking for trouble, particularly in defence, where in the absence of Ledley the players sometimes appear a little uncertain as to the names of the chaps alongside them. All members of our squad are capable Premiership-standard players, but make too many changes and the team’s performance could be as aimless as those half-time exercises.

I’ll be curious as to whether Sergeant Wilson starts. An injury or suspension to him really would give our squad for Saturday the look of a man who’s had his spine ripped from his body, something ‘Arry will presumably have taken into account. However, without him tonight we find ourselves looking towards the might of Jenas and Hudd to boss the game. Forgive me for feeling a little underwhelmed at the prospect, particularly as Tim Cahill in the opposition ranks will give us a glimpse of what we’re missing in central midfield. Still, after flattering to deceive against Stoke Jenas and Hudd owe us a good performance each.

So a rare opportunity for the squad players, and added responsibility on the shoulders of Dawson, Jenas, Hudd and Crouch. Not necessarily a line-up to have Everton quivering in their boots, but I’m pinning my hopes on home advantage seeing us through.

As

ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here.

 

Categories
Spurs preview

Spurs-Stoke Preview: A Chance To Pay Tribute To Bill Nick

Believe it or not, win this by four goals and we’ll be top of the table, albeit until Chelski conclude their evening game. Try informing your nearest Spurs-supporting chum of this fact, and the chances are that you will be greeted with little more than a nod of approval and a healthy dose of perspective. Along with our consistency to date, the general realism of fans this season has been just as startling. We are all aware that we could be on the brink of something very, very good; but equally, there seems to be a healthy realisation that we remain a work in progress. That said, we’ll all be demanding three points today.Crouch Get His Chance

 

Crouch was snapped hurling down some slightly awkward-looking shapes after last Saturday’s game, and although the media did their best to sensationalise the “story” beyond all reasonable sense of perspective, they soon tired of that, particularly as ‘Arry treated it with little more than a shrug. I suspect it’s not what the continental players do, while rugby players apparently spend their post-match hours indulging in such unholy practices as sitting in ice-baths for reparatory purposes. Nevertheless, there seems no harm in a cheery night out with team-mates, a full week before the next game. Certainly the patrons of AANP Towers are in no position to judge a man who spends his Saturday nights on a London boogie floor…

Squad Depth. Ruddy Marvellous.

Woodgate should be back in the team today, for the first time this season. While Liverpool whinge about losing Gerrard and Torres (both of whom featured in their defeat at the Lane on the opening day of the season) it is a sign of the strength of our squad that despite the absences of Woodgate all season, Modric for half the season, and the likes of Ledley, Palacios, Dawson and Defoe at various points, we are deservedly in the top four.

So, aside from three points obviously, what would AANP like to see transpire from its lofty perch?

1. A Four-Goal Win To Take Us To The Top Of  The Premiership

Being top in August is fun but inane; being top when the clocks go back is, frankly, fantastic. ‘Tis true, ‘Arry would be unbearably smug if it transpires that he takes us from bottom to top in exactly a year, but I’d still give my right arm to see it happen.

2. Goals From Woodgate and Dawson

 

3. A Clean Sheet

 

4. A Blinder From Jenas/Hudd

 

5. A Tribute To The Great Bill Nicholson

 

I am sure the fans will pay tribute to him today, it is to be hoped that the club does likewise in some official capacity – and how fitting it would be if we could end the game sitting proudly atop the table once more, as Bill Nicholson took us as both player and manager.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As ever, all are

most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann hereYou can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here.

 

Categories
Spurs preview

Portsmouth – Spurs Preview: The Worst-Case Scenario Unfolds

Well first the bad news. Sergeant Wilson is a likely absentee today after helping Honduras qualify for the World Cup Finals on Thursday. However, he carries possibly the best no-show excuse in the history of the game, as he is returning late on account of having been ordered to stay behind and party, by the country’s ruling military junta. Apparently this cheery lot are also responsible for kicking the President out of the country while he was still in his pyjamas, so when they you tell you to party you ruddy well crack open a beer and fondle a stripper.Apparently Palacios was only due to make it back to England this morning. When he turned up jet-lagged for the Man Utd game last month he ambled around in auto-pilot, picked up an early booking and was taken off at half-time, so he’s unlikely to feature today.

The Worst-Case Scenario Materialises. But It Should Be Ok This Time. 

Jenas has generally received positive reviews for his performances so far this season, notably against Burnley. Now as seasoned followers of this corner of the interweb will know, there is more chance of Hell freezing over than of AANP merrily awarding him gold stars, but certainly by his standards he’s started well this campaign. (There’s the rub, mind – he’s playing well by his standards, and Jermaine Jenas’ standards are Premiership-level, rather than Champions League or international quality… Sorry – I won’t get bogged down in this one again.) He’s generally kept things ticking over in midfield and retained possession sensibly enough, although his safety-first approach of backwards/sideways still grates, and I maintain that he still does not show the energy one would expect from a quality central midfielder. However, at the moment he is playing at a level good enough to see us through most regular Premiership fixtures, and while it may be insufficient against the top four, if he maintains that form he should help see us through today’s game.

Woodgate won’t return today, despite his recovery from injury, but blessed relief we have our Ledley back. For this alone I back us to win. His return carries the added bonus of allowing the Hudd to move back into midfield, in timely fashion too given Sergeant Wilson’s likely absence.

Friends Reunited 

Mercifully, somebody somewhere made sure that young Three-Touch O’Hara is ineligible for this one, so no need to worry there, and apparently the curiously-shaped ex-Spur Michael Brown is also in Pompey’s ranks these days. However, if anyone should worry about the return of former employees it ought to be the Pompey back-line, faced by a red-hot Defoe and Crouch, even if the latter is by no means guaranteed to start.

Pompey are propping up the table, although by all accounts they are playing far better than their position suggests. Nevertheless, excuses won’t be tolerated today dagnabbit – if we are serious about a top-six finish (and a quick, albeit unscientific poll reveals that we are) then nothing less than three points is acceptable today, particularly as AANP has global bragging rights at stake with its New Zealand-dwelling Pompey supporting chum. Scoring goals is no problem, and with Ledley back I fancy us to be fairly secure at the back.

 

Chris Waddle is the latest player to be featured in the forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes, and you are invited to share your memories of him here. As ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the other featured players: Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here

Categories
Spurs preview

Spurs – Bolton Preview: Knives Still Out For Keane

Still reeling from the shock revelation that the word “gullible” had been removed from the dictionary, we at AANP Towers were sent scrambling to our official panic stations yesterday as news of ‘Arry’s alleged departure spread like wildfire. The panic button was hit, the lights flashed and the stern lady kept announcing “This is not a drill”.Except it was. The irony of being strung along by an ultimately vacuous internet phenomenon is not lost on us at allactionnoplot.com.

Once we’d settled down and poured ourselves a few whiskies someone piped up to ask if this week’s episode of the surreal THFC All Action No Plot soap opera was going to feature a football match at any point. And as luck would have it…

Bolton May Chop Off Our Heads

Bolton away has traditionally been a worrying sight on the fixture-list. Always reminds me of that scene at the start of Gladiator when the messenger chap prances off on his horse with a message of goodwill to the uncouth barbarians – who respond by chucking his dismembered head back at Russell Crowe. I’ve always worried that we’ll try the fancy thing and they’ll hack us to pieces.

Fortunately however, the new improved Spurs circa 2009 has rather more fire in its belly, and has shown on a couple of occasions this season an ability to dig in and fight when the chips are down. Another win today would be further evidence of our ever-improving all-round game, and would reiniforce the growing belief that we belong amongst the loose pack of six or so atop the table. A win should be our target today.

Keane’s Critics, Defoe’s Mangled Hand 

Good heavens, exactly how hard was Defoe’s shot against Brian Jensen last week? He hit the ruddy thing with such force that after bouncing off the ‘keeper it flew back to complete mangle his hand, dislocating two fingers and breaking bones for good measure. I once had my wrist broken by a shot from a football, but that was a direct shot; this had rebounded off someone else yet was evidently still travelling. Couldn’t help wincing at the news that the Spurs staff were unable to pop his fingers back in at the time, the suggestion being that they tried and failed. Still, Defoe trained yesterday, which suggests that he’s in contention for today.

’Arry likes to select his forwards on a horses-for-courses basis, opting for the diddy-men last week to counter the big immobile Burnley centre-backs, so eyes are duly peeled for the approach adopted today.

Elsewhere 

A draw (remember them?) would not be a bad result, but we ought to set our sights higher today.

 

Glenn Hoddle is the latest Spurs great to be featured in the forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes, and you are invited to share your memories of him here. As ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the featured players: Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here

Categories
Spurs preview

Spurs – Burnley Preview: Will Keane Play Left Mid? Is Dawson A Jedi Yet?

Two consecutive defeats it may be, but even the most pessimistic amongst us have struggled to make a convincing case for this being a crisis. Man Utd and Chelski are the best two teams in the country, and amongst the best handful in Europe. Losing to them is not exactly to be welcomed, but neither is it a cause for alarm. That we have lost two games on the bounce says more about the quirks of the fixture-list than any catastrophe at N17.Losing at home to Burnley would be a slightly different kettle of fish however. For a team with aspirations of the top six and possibly more, home games against the newly-promoted ought to represent three points. A defeat here really would undo much of the good work of August, shunting us further towards mid-table and giving a signal to the doleful chap at the back to start ringing the alarm bells.

However, I do not really see this worst-case scenario transpiring. Any suggestion that the consecutive defeats had caused a crisis of confidence was quickly dispelled with the midweek mauling of Preston. In attack in particular, the impression is of a bunch of top-quality players chomping at the bit.

Square Building-Blocks, Triangle-Shaped Holes 

Time For Dawson To Prove Himself A True Jedi 

 

Your memories are still welcomed here on Ossie Ardiles and Ricky Villa, the latest to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes. Feel free to contribute your memories – or browse those of others – on Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here, Gary Mabbutt here Graham Roberts here

Categories
Spurs preview

Preston – Spurs Carling Cup Preview: Giovani’s Chance

Well we can call off the missing person’s search. Head down to Deepdale tonight and you’re likely to be treated to rare glimpses of Giovani and David Bentley, last seen being surreptitiously airbrushed into the background as ‘Arry’s favourites went through their pre-match warm-ups. There has been some clamour for Giovani’s inclusion in recent weeks, and after the two woeful attempts by ‘Arry to compensate for the absence of Modric, it would really warm the cockles tonight to see the Mexican put in a virtuoso performance on the left.Nevertheless, that ‘Arry has his favourites is beyond dispute, and the sentiment at AANP Towers is that Giovani could score six goals, save a penalty and discover a cure for cancer tonight, and he’d still be behind Keane in the left-midfield pecking-order. The likes of Giovani, Bentley and Pav are only likely to get a run of games – or even a cameo substitute appearance – if half the squad comes down with plague, and while we’re crying out for centre-halves, the attacking slots seem off-limits at the moment.

There will be welcome returns from injury tonight for Messrs Dawson and Gomes, while Bale may also get a chance to stretch his legs. Spare a thought for poor old Pav though, injured at the one time of the month when he seemed likely to get a game.

The usual mantra applies tonight, about warning against complacency. Spurs certainly have some pedigree when it comes to Imploding-In-Humiliating-Fashion-Against-Lower-League-Opposition-In-The-Carling-Cup, as the inhabitants of AANP Towers still break out into cold sweats at the memory of last year’s debacle away to Burnley. Want it enough however, and they’ll win it tonight.

 

Your memories are still welcomed on Ossie Ardiles and Ricky Villa, the latest to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes, a book looking at White Hart Lane legends, due out next spring. Feel free to leave your memories – or browse those of others – here, while memories of others can also be perused/added to: Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here, Gary Mabbutt here Graham Roberts here

Categories
Spurs preview

Chelsea – Spurs Preview: And The Left Midfield Spot Goes To…

No-one does fickle quite like we do at Tottenham, yet despite this, the reaction to last week’s defeat has by and large retained a sense of perspective. 12 points from 5 games still represents a ruddy good start to proceedings, and with forthcoming fixtures involving Burnley, Bolton, Portsmouth and Stoke we ought to be chugging along nicely by the time the clocks go back.Before all that it’s Chelski away today, where the conundrum for us, as ever, is how to replace Modric on the left. ‘Arry has generally made all the right moves since taking over at the Lane, but his selection of Robbie Keane in left midfield against Man Utd was about as close as we’ve seen so far to an unmitigated disaster. The smart money is on Keane returning to attack, giving the option of dropping back to midfield to cast his beady eye over things when the going gets tough.

Contenders for Left Midfield 

The other main contender for the left-midfield role is Niko Kranjcar, supposedly bought in first place as a replacement for Modric. A brief cameo against Man Utd did not reveal much, so a lot will presumably hinge on the impact made at Spurs Lodge these last seven days. An outside shout for the role is David Bentley, possibly alternating wings with Lennon – but ‘Arry has his favourites, and it therefore seems far likelier that Bentley, along with Pav, will disappear quietly into the background of the substitutes’ bench once proceedings begin this afternoon.

Anyone fancying a punt on a dark horse for the role could do worse than sticking a monkey on Gareth Bale (boom boom). The lad put in a 90-minute shift in a midweek friendly, so is presumably primed and ready for action. What better place for him to extend his record of never appearing in a winning League game for Spurs than away to Chelski, where we haven’t won since short shorts were cool?

So a big game for Spurs, and a massive game for whomever is selected on left midfield – a decent showing today could do wonders for the long-term future at the Lane of one of the aforementioned.

A Big Game For Hudd. Again… 

Elsewhere Gomes may come in for Cudicini, but the rest of the team ought to pick itself. Mouth-watering stuff in prospect.

Categories
Spurs preview

Spurs – Man Utd Preview: Why We’ll Win 5-1…

Curses upon the international break. I guess that now we will never know, but I am convinced that if the season had continued uninterrupted by this pesky World Cup business right through until May, such was our momentum we would actually have won literally every one of our 38 Premiership games. Honest.Now however, the halcyon days of August seem a lifetime ago. It reminds me of my not-at-all nerdy GCSE Maths class, which ruthlessly conquered every past paper flung our way, only to be interrupted several weeks of study leave and exams in other topics, so that by the time of the Maths paper itself we could barely remember how to identify a triangle. Like the GCSE Maths core, I trust that our lilywhite heroes will be up well into tonight desperately trying to reacquaint themselves with the fundamentals that served us so well just a few weeks back.

Should we be able to rekindle the legendary spirit of August ’09, there will certainly be reasons for optimism ahead of the visit of the champions. Defoe and Keane seem to have stumbled upon a little man-little man partnership that works, with the former razor-sharp and the latter effectively industrious. Lennon this week gave a glimpse to the nation of that with which we have become well-acquainted this season. He does not necessarily deliver the goods every time he receives possession, and there remains room for improvement, but you can bet all the tea in China that just giving him the ball scares the bejesus out of opponents.

Hudd and Sergeant Wilson 

Kranjcar – The New Modric 

More Maths 

And finally, Derren Brown eat yer heart out, for here is an exclusive top tip from AANP’s Betting Masterminds: stick a hefty wedge on a 5-1 home win. To date this season our results have read 2-1; 5-1; 2-1; 5-1; 2-1… see what I’ve done there? That’s one straight out of the GCSE Maths class.

Graham Roberts is one of the players featuring in Spurs’ Cult Heroes, a forthcoming book looking at players who achieved legendary status amongst us fans for what they did at the club. Feel free to share your favourite memories of the man – or browse those of others – right here, while

memories are warmly welcomed on players already featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes – Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here