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Spurs match reports

Wolves 1-0 Spurs: A Possible Silver Lining

Oh dear. Going down all guns blazing, with seventeen shots on target and against a goalkeeper possessed by the spirit of Jennings is one thing; being outplayed by a side in the relegation zone is another. We actually started relatively well, with some slick passing all round, and Bentley looking a good bet for general mischief on the right. Unbelievably, that was as good as it got – once the goal went in we promptly ran out of ideas, and could probably have played all night and into the wee small hours without scoring.While surreptitiously glancing over the shoulder of the chap next to me on my morning commute, I noticed in his newspaper a quote from our glorious leader that, with regard to what is going wrong at the Lane, it was “Difficult to put your finger on it.” How encouraging. I blinking well hope that behind closed doors ‘Arry is able to put an entire grubby paw on it, diagnose it, solve it and ensure it never rears its ugly head again. The man’s remit, as I understand, extends beyond merely picking 11 of the blighters 30 minutes before kick-off each week. Heaven help us if he genuinely is out of ideas. While we probably cannot get much worse, it is quite feasible that we could maintain this standard of shoddiness for a few weeks more.

Debuts…

Before switching off for the evening and watching on cluelessly, ‘Arry made five changes, including the two debutants. Kaboul has apparently come on leaps and bounds as a central defender since he last appeared in lilywhite a few years back, but whether this be truth or cruel hoax remains unknown, as he was curiously shunted into the team at right-back. Every inch the square peg in a round hole, he showed plenty of energy and willing, none of which masked a chronic tendency to give the ball away.

Gudjohnsen I imagine will eventually come good in a Spurs shirt. With his back to goal approach, tendency to drop deep and penchant for an eye-of-the-needle pass there is much of the Sheringham about him – but unfortunately last night this similarity also extended to his mobility and energy. His vision and astute little passes created a couple of early openings, and once he and his new chums are singing from the same hymn-sheet some wondrousness ought to ensue, but at the moment he looks rather off the pace. If Gudjohensen is to play, our midfielders will need to learn to bust a gut in support of Defoe upfront. Although Kranjcar and Jenas each made one charge into the Wolves area in the early stages of proceedings last night, by and large Defoe was left isolated.

And Swansongs?

Could the silver lining to yesterday’s nightmare be a less than entirely fond farewell to everyone’s favourite scapegoat? Offered a drink in the last-chance saloon, Jermaine Jenas eschewed a shot of vodka or neat whisky, and opted for a saucer of milk. His half-time withdrawal hinted that ‘Arry might have run out of patience. Or so I would like to think. After one encouraging attacking burst in the opening stages last night, he quickly reverted to type, alternating between ineffective and useless (note his failure to track Jones into the area for the Wolves goal, and a particularly fairy-like shake of the leg when Wolves’ Guedioura went galloping straight through the centre and into our area). While Bale, Bentley, Kranjcar and Pav typically show themselves to be capable – and occasionally excel – at Premiership level, Jenas is repeatedly poor.

However, Jenas was by no means the only man to turn in a woeful performance last night. There was huff and puff to varying degrees all over the pitch, but precious little intelligence or passion. While the pitch looked in places like a vegetable patch it hardly excuses the relentless stream of misplaced passes from our heroes, who would do well to note the dozen or so passes Wolves strung together in scoring their goal. Bentley began brightly but faded like the rest of them; Bale worked his way into some promising positions; Daws, while imperious as ever in the air, made another clumsy penalty area challenge. To suggest that the game might have panned out differently had Kranjcar buried his early chance is fair enough; but whether he scored or missed we still ought to have hammered away at Wolves until they caved.

Still In The Hunt

Naturally, lusty choruses of disapproval are ringing out from all quarters, and indeed, if we maintain this form we can expect a quite serene descent into the lower reaches of the table. However, at present we remain just one point off fourth – level on games with Liverpool and two games ahead of Man City, with a dozen left to play. It is still a handy position in which to be – we are by no means out of the race for fourth. If we can wipe the slate clean and hit some sort of form – and pronto –  there is every chance we will remain in the hunt for fourth until May. The return of Lennon will undoubtedly help to this end, but even without him we ought to have enough to beat the likes of Wolves.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out in early March and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith,Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 0-0 Aston Villa: How The Devil Do We Score At Home?

Frustrating stuff. A couple of months ago I was fairly sanguine about points dropped at home, reasoning with sage, Yoda-like calm that as long as we kept playing well the goals and wins would eventually follow. Never folk to take decisive action if we could get away with thrusting our heads into the sand and waiting, we at AANP Towers reasoned that there was no need to panic – the problem would take care of itself.Not so, it appears. Week after week we seem to turn in a strong performance but draw a blank, and as well as making for an unhappy trek down the High Road this is now beginning to derail the top-four push. The notion of turning White Hart Lane into a fortress seems to have been wildly misunderstood by our heroes, currently labouring under the misapprehension that it requires clean sheets for both sides. Future visitors to the Lane include Everton, Blackburn, Bolton and Pompey (as well as l’Arse and Chelski), and more ten-man lock-outs are on the agenda.

The team of monkeys here at AANP Towers has been hard at work brainstorming ideas as to what the devil we are doing wrong at the moment. And so, in no particular order…

Not Playing Good Football? 

Luck? 

A Different Forward-Line?

Controversial perhaps, as the problem seems to be that the opposition penalty area is just too darned crowded these days before we even get the ball to the front-two. Defoe’s raison d’être is simply to put the ball in the net when given a chance, and few are better at the art. Crouch has his limitations, but he had a decent enough game on Saturday, winning his fair share of headers and holding it up, giving us the option of the aerial route. As a combination, the pair work fairly well. However, I wouldn’t mind seeing Gudjohnsen given a chance to stretch his legs, and provide something a little different in attack, especially in those games in which the opposition back-line looks to have the measure of us.

A Dribbler? 

Lennon?

Bentley is doing a good job, but when it comes to Aaron Lennon, as that closely-cropped lady from the 80’s used to warble, nothing compares. For all the neat passing and technical ability, our team lacks pace. At the moment, opponents seem able to line themselves up in formation and repel. A burst of pace would help us actually get behind them and have a dig at their soft underbelly. Bale on the left gives glimpses of the panic this can cause in opposition ranks, always looking threatening when he hares down to the by-line.

Such hastily garnered suggestions are unlikely to go down in history as the footballing equivalent of neurosurgery, but are a selection of the wonderings swimming around the AANP mind. More pertinently, what solutions can ‘Arry provide? He may have assembled a coaching team to cover every eventuality, but, worryingly, after each shut-out he seems to repeat the same line, at least publicly, that he could not have asked any more of the players, and that they tried everything they could. Almost, one might suggest, as if he himself is out of ideas as to how to win these games. If only he had had a couple of capable and creative substitutes to whom he could have turned on Saturday…

A Grumble About Substitutes

It seemed a little strange that ‘Arry did not look to the bench for some fresh attacking inspiration. Retaining the on-pitch status quo would have made sense if all were going to plan and we were romping home, but circumstances rather strongly suggested that a case could have been made for a change or two. Each of Hudd, Modders and Bentley were performing fairly well without ever scything open the massed ranks of Villa defenders, yet Kranjcar and Gudjohnsen were left to twiddle their thumbs on the bench.

And while I’m having a grumble, here’s another point that struck me on Saturday – our ratio of goals-scored-from-corners to corners-taken must be appalling. The statistic, whatever it is, is all the worse for the fact that we have a whole army of big, sturdy six-footers marching forward for each corner these days.

Elsewhere On The Pitch

An honourable mention to Gomes, now one of the finest ‘keepers around. A cracking double-save in the first half crowned yet another solid all-round performance, secure on crosses and always keen to prompt attacks hastily. Sergeant Wilson showed again that his bite seems to be returning, but his doings when actually in possession remain erratic. There was also another good showing from the handsome young Welshman on the left on Saturday, doing all that was required defensively as well as offering his usual potency in attack.

So yet again we have to rely this week upon other sides to do us favours. Hull, unbelievably, obliged, turning over Man City, but Liverpool have, for this weekend at least, capitalised upon our failing. I still cannot see Villa lasting the pace in the race for fourth. Utterly bereft of attacking ideas, it seems the principal reason they remain in the hunt at present is their goalkeeper, the ever-magnificent Brad Friedel. However, we ought to be capable of stringing together a run of wins that would render academic the form of our rivals. A draw against Villa, while disappointing, is not calamitous, and the blow would be softened by a few consecutive wins in future weeks.


AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out in early March and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Spurs match reports

Leeds 1-3 Spurs: The Reason For David Bentley’s Resurgence?

In between various planes and trains back from Morocco I managed to catch yesterday’s goings-on at Elland Road, and jolly heartening they were too. One of my brothers, for whom the rigours of parenthood mean that Spurs-watching is less frequently indulged in these days, texted afterwards to note that, as the first full Spurs game he has seen in around a year, he was pleasantly surprised by our performance. He has a point, for it was an all-round performance of the sort to which we have grown accustomed in recent months – general neatness in possession, while creating a healthy number of chances. It is perhaps easy to lose sight of this amidst the frustrations of umpteen missed chances and haemorrhaged Premiership points, but on the whole these days we play an extremely attractive brand of football, and progress over the last 12 months has been exceptional.Interesting to reflect on how the team has evolved even within the space of half a season, partly through accident and partly through design. Having shot out of the traps back in August with Modric, Keane, Lennon and BAE in the ranks, last night we eased through with Kranjcar, Bale and Bentley each looking impressive. Whisper it, but recent weeks have shown that there really is a degree of squad-depth there, albeit still with a few bad apples in the White Hart Lane barrel.

This article, forwarded to me today by a particularly highly-regarded Spurs-supporting chum, makes the point that much of our progress has been due simply to the improvement of quality, on a player-for-player basis, over the last year or two. To borrow from the article:

Jermain Defoe is a better version of Darren Bent, Wilson Palacios is a better version of Didier Zokora, and the Spurs boss feels that Gudjohnsen is a better version of Keane. 

Bentley’s attitude in recent weeks has been admirable. Cynics may suggest that his motivation is personal rather than team-oriented, and personally I reckon his lip has been quivering with rage ever since Kranjcar arrived to steal his crown as Team Pretty-Boy, but whatever the reason I hugely approve of his approach. He has put his head down, slapped on even larger amounts of hair-gel and worked hard, producing decent quality both when delivering crosses and when cutting infield. He is by no means the finished article, and the smart-money remains on him heading elsewhere in the summer, but it is good to see him rising to the challenge.

Defoe 

Statistics could probably be reeled out to counter the “flat-track bully” claim (and from memory I can pick his goal against Man Utd earlier this season and a harshly-disallowed goal at Anfield, as well as a blinding strike against l’Arse a few years ago as examples of strikes against the top-four) but the little drum I’ll bang here is that even if he is deemed no more than a tormentor of English football’s less-refined urchins this is nevertheless a mighty handy quality to have at a club with Top-Four and trophy aims. Long may it continue. Given our struggles this season against those sides we ought to be demolishing, the occasional Defoe hat-trick against a weak defence is quite welcome, and if the moniker best describing him is that of “flat-track bully” that elicits little more than a shrug.

Honourable Mentions 

 

Some of the others however, still appear stuck permanently within cruise control. He probably can’t help it, but by smiling and sticking out his tongue each time he misses a chance Crouch gives the impression that settling for second-best is not a problem. Tottenham players should be cursing, swearing and ready to kill with their bare hands when they miss chances or concede goals, and by golly they should be busting a gut to make sure it does not happen again. In short, we need to see them reacting on the pitch with the same passion we show in the stands.

Jenas

Really, what’s the point?

Spurs Are On Their Way To Wembley

It was only Leeds, but it might have been a lot worse. Many Spurs teams of yore would have started timidly yesterday, given the venue and the weather, but to their credit our lot played well for all but the ten minutes or so prior to half-time. Removing foot from throttle after taking the lead does not rank too highly on the list of The World’s Greatest Sporting Ideas, but that aside it was a pretty professional performance. A nod of approval too for the none-too-subtle attitude towards closing out the game in the final minutes, all and sundry displaying a quite stoic determination to head for the corners and run the clock down. Bolton away is tricky but winnable – a description one might pin to the tournament as a whole.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith,Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Spurs match reports

Birmingham 1-1 Spurs: The Adel Taarabt View

Apologies for the radio silence, been sunning myself in the land of Adel Taarabt and Noureddine Naybet over the last few days. Therefore, if you want a blow-by-blow analysis of this game, look elsewhere – as indeed I’m sure you have done, at some point since Saturday afternoon.Premiership goings-on are not top of the agenda in Morocco, but I did eventually ascertain the outcome of this one. Away from home, against a Birmingham team in pretty solid form of recent months, it struck me as decent enough. There have been a few too many draws in recent months, and the value of this one was certainly sullied by wins for Villa, Liverpool and Man City; but a draw at Birmingham was not bad.

A day later however I found out the timing of the goals, and the AANP brow, so untroubled during every preceding moment of my time in Morocco, immediately furrowed. A last-minute equaliser? Karma of sorts, some would suggest, following the mighty late steal against Birmingham at White Hart Lane back in August. I have lost track of the points thrown away by missed chances and last-minute mishaps now, which is a damning indictment in itself. The saving grace this season is that all our rivals seem to be dropping points with just as much gusto as we.

While there is precious little I can add, one line in an English newspaper I saw on Tuesday caught my eye, as it named one David Bentley as Man of the Match. C’est vrai? Less surprising was the news that Jermaine Jenas was introduced onto the pitch in the 89th minute, and the team promptly imploded, seeming victory instantly melting down to a draw. Just this once I’ll cut the blighter some slack, and presume that his entrance had little to do with the circumstances surrounding our concession of the equaliser. (Nevertheless, seasoned AANP followers will not be surprised to know that I find it mighty tempting to pick up the rubber stamp that reads “Scapegoat” and emblazon the word across his forehead…)

Short-Term Disappointment; But Long-Term Progress Continuing? 

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith,Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 2-0 Fulham: A Team of Jermaine Jenases

Curiouser and curiouser. You think you’ve seen it all at the Lane, you brace yourself for the worst – and are then treated to a completely serene, straightforward, almost routine home win, as far removed from the All-Action-No-Plot mentality as is possible.It Was The Midfield What Won It 

Hudd

Seasoned AANP followers will be aware that while happy to offer the guy polite applause, I have yet to become a fully paid-up member of the Tommy Hudd Fan Club, and I was a tad dubious on hearing his name read out yesterday. Need not have worried however. For a start, he took to the pitch sporting a haircut vaguely akin to Mr T, which is always a good move in my book. He then began the game with a confidence and willingness to take charge which he has occasionally lacked in home games this season (Man Utd and Hull, off the top of my head). From the off he constantly demanded the ball, kept things ticking over briskly and stung the ‘keeper’s palms. We like that around these parts. He could also be seen to hassle and harry – not exactly in a bone-crunching Sergeant Wilson sort of way, but showing enough willing and energy to hurry along the opposition. AANP happily awards him a doughnut by way of reward.

Sergeant Wilson

His actual distribution of the little orb bordered on woeful, but the snarl and bite was commendable. Still not at the standard of last season, but this was one of his better days of the current campaign.

Modders 

Bentley

Much-maligned, and unlikely to play for us again if ‘Arry can possibly get away with it, but he is really not a bad player. Crossing with both feet he produced some that were delicious and some that went awry, but on the whole it was a decent shift. Equally pleasing was his attitude, the brylcreemed one showing a good wholesome work-rate. And while it does not count for much, we at AANP Towers rather approved of the fact that on a night as cold as yesterday he did not pitch up with gloves and tights, but played in short sleeves. Good lad.

Bale

He still not been given a stern defensive test, but this was another welcome attacking performance from the lad, and with Modders cutting infield Bale’s presence bombing up the flank has gone down swimmingly.  I think we had all forgotten what it was like to have an over-lapping full-back merrily tearing forward at every opportunity, but he augments attack so well that I rather conveniently include him in this little parade of honour, even though I am supposedly lauding the midfielders. Bale may not be the finished article, but he’s still a whipper-snapper and got bundles of potential – so hopefully he will live long and prosper at the Lane, even if BAE does swan straight back into the starting line-up when fit.

All that may have read like a rather over-enthusiastic canticle of praise; not so. There were moments of needless sloppiness; we still desperately miss Lennon; and a more incisive team might have given us more problems than Fulham. However, after some of the horrors we have witnessed at the Lane this season, a nice straightforward victory without hitting top gear – aided by a healthy dose of luck in front of goal – were more than welcome. I’ll happily settle for at least one more of those before I start lambasting the players for lack of entertainment.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith,Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne hereAnd as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 2-2 Leeds: A Dying Art Lives On At The Lane

We at AANP Towers are firm proponents of the dying art of chivalry, always happy to whip off the jacket and place it over a puddle for a lady to walk across, or leap into a burning building to save a one-armed orphan; but once on the football pitch I would positively encourage our lot to dispense with the p’s and q’s, and instead adopt all the airs and graces of a gaggle of behooded youths at a train station. Alas, our heroes are just too darned nice sometimes. When we needed ruthlessness last night, and a good violent kicking was required of opponents who were down, we instead extended the hand of comradeship at every given opportunity. Defoe’s penalty; Jenas’ back-pass; the usual disparity between our attempts-on-goal and goals-scored tallies; and of course, when all else failed, a bizarrely reckless and unnecessary penalty-area challenge in the sixth minute of injury-time. Model citizens the lot of them, and their mothers would be proud, but 30,000 at the Lane would rather see a Neanderthalic savaging of the enemy.The technical quality of our players is not in doubt. Crisp one-touch passing looks wonderful when it works (Exhibit A – our second goal), and if we are two or three goals to the good our football really is lined in gold. At the risk of sounding like a broken record however (a record first produced back in the ‘80’s) when up against a team determined to slug it out we are constantly found wanting. Our lot need to draw inspiration from someone in the centre, but as ever our default switch last night was set to “dainty”. Jenas, Hudd, Modders, Kranjcar – none are the sort to whom we look with confidence when a clinical despatch is called for.

Sergeant Wilson added some bite when he came on, and his burst set up the second goal, but by and large he has been below par this season. It is a crack we have typically papered over with early goals followed by lightning-fast counter-attacks. More often than not, this approach will be sufficient for victory, but all the nine-one wins in the world will not disguise the fact that we still lack a true leader in central midfield, who will take the game by the scruff of the neck and go charging into attack like that beardy chap in the film about Sparta.

Instead, we have Jermaine Jenas. The lad must be quite sensational in training, because he certainly never does anything during an organised game to merit inclusion. At one point yesterday we were treated to the sight of Jenas’ annual Burst-With-The-Ball-From-Deep, a gallop of fully 60 yards on the counter-attack offering a charming hint of just how good a player he might be if he did the same thing throughout the game, every game. He does not do this every game however; he does it once a blue-moon, typically finishing by knocking the ball sideways to an opponent, to the inevitable vocal accompaniment from the stands. The point of his existence continues to be pondered by all bar a succession of Tottenham and England managers.

Elsewhere on the Pitch… 

For all his single-mindedness in front of goal from open-play (and that early attempted lob-volley was rather eye-catching) Defoe’s penalty-taking is truly woeful. The award of a penalty ought to be greeted with back-slaps and satisfaction; instead I can barely bring myself to watch either him or Keane step up. It is a pretty damning indictment of these two that I now find myself scanning the periphery of the area to see who is most alert for the rebound.

More excitingly, The Rarely-Sighted Pav may have reminded ‘Arry that rather than just being a foreign chap with a mullet always loitering in the background his preferred trade is actually that of a professional footballer. Fingers are crossed here at AANP Towers that the Russian is given another chance on Tuesday night.

A decent shift from the boy Bale, although few have ever doubted his attacking prowess. He will face sterner defensive tests, but for various reasons – pace, left-footedness, crossing ability, age – he remains in favour at AANP Towers, the news of which will make his weekend I’m sure.

In need of a leader we have not held back in heaping praise upon Michael Dawson in the last couple of months, and one or two crunching tackles again yesterday indicated why. The fellow’s commitment to the cause is a welcome contrast to so many around him, but a couple of wobbles against Liverpool and then the penalty conceded yesterday were reminders that he does still rather act first and think later. We all love to see someone diving in across the turf and sending an opponent flying, but there is a time and a place, and Daws erred pretty spectacularly on both counts in the dying seconds.

The Road to Wembley 

 

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Spurs match reports

Liverpool 2-0 Spurs: The Tottenham Way

Well on the bright side they all looked like they wanted to play The Tottenham Way. Sugar and spice and all things nice, with pretty passing and a minimum of three dainty touches in possession. Delightful stuff. Unfortunately this was an occasion which demanded urgency, a determination to win at all costs, a bloody-minded refusal to accept defeat and generally all those other clichéd attributes which Spurs perennially lack, but which are prerequisites for top-four qualification. I guess the absence of these attributes is a further trademark of The Tottenham Way. The other lot decided to roll up their sleeves and scrap for it; our heroes duly looked horrified, appearing close to tears each time a swarm of those uncouth Liverpool rotters descended on them like a pack of dogs.It was all rounded off, and neatly summed up, by possibly the worst attempt ever recorded in the history of the game at throwing-everything-at-the-opposition-in-the-final-ten-minutes. Instead of being camped in their penalty area we somehow contrived to allow Liverpool half a dozen point-blank chances inside ours, repeatedly insisting that they try and try again, as well as standing back to let them indulge in a spot of keep-ball whenever they got the urge.

Should I ever get the opportunity to storm into the Tottenham dressing-room and damn well scream at the players to fight, tooth and nail and ‘til the bitter end, in search of victory, I imagine the players would simply look quizzically at each other, trying to wrap their precious minds around the baffling concepts of which I speak, before retiring to the training-ground to engage in some delightfully pretty and gently-paced passing routines. In some parallel universe where tackling is completely banned from the game, our lot are absolutely awesome.

Even aside from the generally lacklustre attitude, we might have fared better if we had dispensed with the multiple-touch approach and just zipped the ball around first time, to leave the scousers chasing shadows (incidentally, even in absentia, this ball-dwelling is a misdemeanour of which Hudd is too frequently guilty). The one time we actually managed a one-touch move this we created our clearest chance of the match. By and large however, Modric and Kranjcar looked like foreigners of excellent technique who just could not cope with the pace and feistiness of a high-octane Premiership game. Jenas gave the definitive Jenas performance – backwards; sideways; earnest; energetic; ineffective.

The Refereeing Decisions

The most generous interpretation that could be given is that this whole business of the offside rule and its “phases of play” is sufficiently obscure to be entirely subjective. At the whim of the officials, Defoe was ruled against, possibly for having strayed offside back on Saturday against Hull. AANP’s latest watertight theory is that God supports l’Arse, and His will be done.

As for the elongated one’s penalty shout – less of a complaint, given that pens are so rarely awarded for the countless little misdeeds at set-pieces. That said, I don’t know what the opposite of a force-field is, but Crouch has one around him at all times, ensuring that whatever the occasion and whatever he does, if he is in the opposition penalty area he will be penalised. It’s the law.

However, the creases across the AANP brow this morning were caused by the performances of those in lilywhite rather than black. Creative though the refereeing decisions may have been, it does not disguise the fact that we were mightily disappointing, in such a crunch game. Points lost against weakened rivals is galling enough, but seeing points surrendered quite so meekly is vaguely soul-destroying. As for the buoyant optimism and spring in the step of just 24 hours ago, we denizens of AANP Towers have been given a most severe reprimand for such wild and thoughtless misjudgements.

I Kid Ye Not – We’re Still Fourth

And yet, come May we may very well make fourth. Everyone around us seems to have a gun pointed at their own foot and an itchy trigger-finger, so it could yet happen. Easy to forget we still are fourth actually. No extra points are lost for a display of complete impotence, or for an attempt to fashion a team around Jermaine Jenas; nor would we have gained any more points for beating Liverpool away than we will do if we turn over Fulham at home next week. Bad day at the office, but there are plenty of points left to be gathered.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 0-0 Hull: “Just One Of Those Days” – Again?

(Yes yes, it’s about a year late. Sorry. Finishing touches being applied to the opus Spurs’ Cult Heroes)It appears that “Just one of those days” is lined up to become ‘Arry’s Triffic Phrase of the Season 2009/10, following the success of “Two points, eight games” last year. The official company line at least appears to be that the blank drawn against Hull is not something about which to get too worked up, and in a sense one can appreciate the point – we may not have been at our fluid best, but Gomes spent most of the game in smoking-jacket and slippers, puffing contentedly on cigar and squinting down the far end of the pitch. While one cheery Hull fan on a phone-in rather optimistically tried to argue that they had actually outplayed us, the stats of zero shots on target by Hull, compared to around three thousand by our lot, fairly convincingly suggest otherwise. It might not have been vintage Spurs, but we made a couple of clear-cut chances, and had Defoe or Keane done what they normally do with eyes closed we might have been dusting off the abacus.

But they didn’t and we weren’t. Not for the first time we’ve lollopped along Easy Street but lost our way and come stumbling back out again. Just one of those days? For the third time this season? At what point does the reaction morph from bemused shrug to desperate scramble for the panic stations?

For what it’s worth, the reaction is restraint – albeit of the mightily irritated variety – rather than wild-eyed panic here at AANP Towers. Unlike against Stoke, when we created worryingly few chances, against Hull we created a decent number, and but for that Myhill lad would have breezed it.

Elsewhere on the Pitch 

A decent shift from Gareth Bale, offensively and defensively. Further such displays may give our glorious leader something to chew on once BAE recovers from injury. Modders looked pleasingly urgent throughout; but Kranjcar returned from his cloud of wondrousness, back to earth with a bump, in the realm of the largely ineffective. While these two cut inside with gay abandon, central midfield remains a worry from this vantage point. When up against opponents willing to venture forward Hudd is more effective and Sergeant Wilson more suitably employed, but in the face of a 10-0-0 formation Hudd had precious few ideas. Boundless energy has never been his forte, and no-one expects that of him (whether rightly or wrongly is perhaps a debate for another day), but it would at least have been nice to see him rolling things along quickly, first-time passes and the like, playing like he a man who knows where he’ll put the ball before he even receives it.

The silver lining to all this is that a draw at home to a team in the relegation zone turned out to be one of the best results of the weekend, and by virtue of the charming generosity of our closes challengers we’re somehow back in the top four. The table would look infinitely cheerier if we had wins against Hull, Stoke and Wolves to add to the collection, but it is what it is.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

Categories
Spurs match reports

Spurs 4-0 Peterborough (Belatedly): Win The Whole Thing? Why Not?

(Apologies for the tardiness – deadline week on the book Spurs’ Cult Heroes)
The FA Cup? Why not? The only team that ever seems to beat us in knock-out competitions has itself been knocked out, and for our part we look capable of despatching anyone on our day. This is not a reaction to our win on Saturday, far from it, but rather a reaction to the exit of Man Utd. They were the one team I simply could not envisage us beating. Anyone else, and we could make a game of it, but there seemed to be as much a mental block as a quality gap with that lot. Now, however, the outlook is a little different. Chelski and l’Arse are obviously the ones to eye warily, but we’ve got Cup pedigree against both. Man City, Villa and Liverpool would be tricky, particularly away from home, but all are eminently beatable. I rather fancy our chances this season.Daydream over. Here at AANP Towers the response to the Peterborough game was a contented nod and scan of the fixture-list. A scrappy, nerve-jangling 94th minute winner would have sufficed – although we’d laid into them had that been the case – but our heroes deserve credit for getting the job done fairly routinely.

The habit of making bucketloads of chances is positive; the relatively small proportion of chances converted less so. It proved another exercise in breaking down a side that had come to the Lane essentially to frustrate, and while this time things panned out swimmingly, in future we may need to be a little less profligate.

Defoe – Accurate

My old man, the venerable AANP Senior has been fond of preaching over the years that a player only deserves credit for hitting the woodwork if he was aiming for it – in which case full marks to Jermain Defoe. The only explanation for that early shot which hit the bar, when it was surely easier to score, was that he actively sought to avoid the netting and instead aimed for the frame. And a fine job he did too.

Life Without Lennon

The question of how to cope without Lennon was initially addressed by rather stretching the definition of “winger”, with Modders and Kranjcar roaming anywhere they jolly well pleased. I could sit back all day and watch those two do their thing. If Niko Kranjcar were English the nation’s media would drool over him, yet the lad seems strangely under-rated beyond N17, in a Steed type of way. Not complaining mind, if anything this means he’s less likely to be prised away by Man Utd.

Later on we had that delightful cameo from the boy Rose, definitely more in the Lennon mould than Corluka when it came to going for a gallop. I recall a well-informed gooner mate raving about him, rather enviously, when we first signed him a couple of years ago. I rather hope that he doesn’t venture down that well-trod route of a loan to League One side and eventual transfer, but alas our reputation for developing youngsters is hardly encouraging.

Of the other reserves, Bale and Hutton continue to look the polar opposites of those for whom they deputise. Always had a soft spot for Bale, ever since his gung-ho emergence under Martin Jol (blessed be his name). While he continues to look cracking value going forward, he still fails to instill confidence as a defender. Fingers crossed that this is not a problem in the coming month.

Boxes Ticked 

To think that we would have drawn Man Utd yet again, had they remained in the competition, beggars belief, and is grist to the mill of conspiracy theorists throughout the South Stand. Instead it will be Leeds – not straightforward, but home advantage ought to be enough.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here 

Categories
Spurs match reports

Spurs 2-0 West Ham: Football So Good It Made Me Steal From A Baby

Liquid football. Honourable mentions to the back-four and ‘keeper, a fourth successive clean-sheet leaving me not so much applauding as looking around suspiciously to wonder what the devil is going on. However, the day belonged to those at the other end. While it made for anxious viewing as the second half wore on, the brand of football purveyed was of the sort I could have watched non-stop for hours, slick little one-touch passes lifted straight from that pre-match six-a-side drill the players undertake up by the halfway line. My two-month old niece has duly been given her Spurs-embroidered bibs, caring uncle that I am, but on this occasion I snatched the bib from her, fastened it around my own neck and drooled.Modders’ Magic Second Touch 

Hudd Earns A Mince-Pie, Sergeant Wilson Eyes Up Hollywood 

As it turned out, Hudd delivered the textback definition of “Silencing the Critics”. His passing can often have us purring in appreciation, but his decision-making today, in picking the right pass – short or long as necessary – and upper-body strength were particularly impressive, and earn him a mince-pie.

Alongside him Sergeant Wilson looked more like his old self. AANP Towers has been buzzing with excitement in recent weeks at the news that a new sequel to Predator is apparently being made – Predators, which will pointedly ignore the previous, lamentable sequels, and be set on the predators’ home-planet, featuring amongst other creations, predator-dogs if you please. The template for such creatures is presumably Wilson Palacios of 28 December 2009, because if there was an ankle at which to be snapped he was there, every inch a growling, frenzied canine with the DNA of an indestructible alien warrior. Too early to claim we’ve got our Wilson back, but this is the standard he exhibited when he first joined.

Criticism. Sort Of.

The one grumble I suppose is that we ought to be turning such dominance into a bucketload of goals, à la Wigan; but the 70-minute inability to score was not for want of trying. Sometimes we sit back and indulge in fancy tricks ahead of a demented pursuit of the jugular; this time we knocked it around with purpose, always looking for the second goal.

There endeth the pseudo-criticism. Defensive clearances were not hurried, but typically measured, with a view to picking out a team-mate. Lennon’s performance demanded that new and ever more wondrous superlatives be created post-haste. Such was the general verve throughout our ranks that even Sergeant Wilson, BAE and Corluka could be spotted galloping towards goal. Harsh luck on West Ham to lose a couple of men early on to injury, but at times it seemed that they had not bothered to replace them, as we appeared to have an extra player on the pitch, lilywhite movement everywhere. The injuries excuse will only go so far; for our lofty current perch is due in large part to the strength of our reserves. Bassong injured? In comes Ledley. Modders needs a breather? Bring on Kranjcar.

West Ham may not have been the toughest nut to crack, but that should not detract from a performance which oozed wonderfulness from every pore. Happy new year indeed.

 

You can become a Facebook fan of forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here – or pre-order the ruddy thing here. Cripes! 

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here