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Spurs 4-3 Man Utd: Three Tottenham Talking Points

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1. Forster, Good Grief

To the neutral I suppose that 3-0, at home and after an hour, would qualify as just about a done deal. Sub off the key men, might have been the thinking. Conserve the energies.

We Tottenham folk, of course, knew better. That we would fail to see the thing out serenely and without alarms was one of those universal truths one hears about from time to time. Death and taxes are similarly regarded, so I understand. But here in N17 we pretty much sneer at those who suggest that a 3-0 lead with half an hour remaining guarantees safe passage.

All that said, mind, I have to confess that I did not anticipate Fraser Forster being the one to bungle things.

There was a fair amount of doom-mongering about the place when parts of the Vicario frame were revealed to have snapped in various critical places a few weeks back. A general opinion did the rounds, externally at least, that we might as well take to the pitch with just the ten outfield lumps and not bothering with the net-guardian, such was the esteem with which Forster was held.

Well, for six and two-third matches, Forster divided his time between rattling off a string of top-notch saves and shoving down the throat of his detractors their naysaying words. If there were a leaping, full-tilt save to be made, Forster was front of the queue. Admittedly some got past him, and admittedly his passing from feet did not necessarily scythe through the opposition press; but nor did he appear the sort of clumsy ass who regarded a football with suspicion rather than an object to be engaged with.

And on he tootled accordingly, until minute 62 last night, when all hell broke loose.

A minor digression here, because while Forster was unmistakeably the culprit, there is arguably a wider problem spreading its tentacles. It’s this business of playing out from the back.

I’ve wittered on about this enough times over the last couple of years, so no need to re-hash the whole thing. The salient points, lest you need them, are firstly that the percentages don’t really stack up. If the approach led to a guaranteed chance every time I’d be sold; and even if, more realistically, it got us only as far as halfway, say two thirds of the time, I’d probably give it the nod.

The reality, I’d suggest, is that we make it to halfway no more than 50% of the time, and even that feels a pretty generous take. Every constituent pass seems absolutely fraught with risk, so it only really needs one miscalculation or miscontrol, or some other species of pig’s ear, and the whole thing falls apart.

And the second problem with playing-out-from-the-back is that when it does implode, we don’t just start again on the centre-spot. When possession is conceded it tends to be within one short pass of our own penalty area, dash it. The net result seems to me that we’re as likely to concede a chance as to create one with this approach.

Last night, even before Forster lost his marbles, I was teetering a goodish amount on the edge of my seat as I drank it all in. Sometimes it worked; but, crucially, just as often it seemed not to work. Although Man Utd did not really take full advantage of this, their general mangling of chances was merely a bonus. We certainly did not earn those let-offs. By virtue of gumming up our side of things, we allowed them a good half-dozen opportunities to beetle towards our goal from within 30 yards.

Back to Forster, and the abysmal misplacement of his intended pass towards Dragusin was his fault and his alone. Some have half-heartedly jabbed a finger at Gray for passing the ball to Forster in the first place, but I’m waving that one aside without even bothering to put together an argument. This mistake was on Forster’s head, no doubt.

However, the doltish insistence on playing out the back stems more from the powers at work, in the corridors of N17. By which I mean Ange and his tactical chums. I don’t have too many axes to grind with Our Glorious Leader, but the play-out-from-the-back bobbins is right up there, make no mistake.

Forster of course, was not finished there. Perhaps selflessly attempting to deflect blame from his boss, or perhaps to convey the impression of a man unflustered by his previous error, he opted for the achingly casual approach five minutes later, promptly dropping Clanger Number Two. That serene seeing out of things went up in a puff of smoke.

One would like to say that having pickled things so massively on two occasions, he’ll gnaw off his own arm before trying any such thing again – but one can never be too sure. Put bluntly, that should really have already been the mindset after Clanger Number One, but the fact that he then went for Clanger Number Two rather than the arm-gnawing option speaks a few volumes.

2. Solanke

The cloud of disbelief that enveloped me last night and has carried on enveloping me all day today, rather obscured what had previously been a considerable thrill at seeing Dominic Solanke strike oil, at a point in the night in which things were still going swimmingly.

It has been a dashed shame for the blighter that so much of his good work this season has been carried out down in the dank basement, rather than up on the stage, if you get my gist. He drops deep, and wins possession, and protects the ball, and brings others into play – and generally takes the ethos of selflessness and team ethic to its absolute extreme.

In this context, it was an absolute delight to see him tuck away two goals that were both, in their own way, absolute corkers.

A joyless sort of critic might watch the first goals, sniff haughtily and suggest that Solanke was pretty unencumbered. It would be an almightily harsh take on events. For a start, the finish was delivered first-time, with a ball rebounding back towards him at a fair lick and with a bit of bobble in its constitution. Opportunities abounded for him to sky the thing, shin it or in some other way duff up his finish. That he connected so sweetly and hit the target is immensely to his credit.

I must confess that I tempered my reactions on seeing it hit the net actually, having been convinced that Solanke had strayed a good few yards offside. It is therefore another giant tick against his name that he did no such thing. Timed his movement to perfection, in fact.

Where the entire United mob clocked off and contented themselves with simply watching events unfold, Solanke leapt into action, alert to any sequel that might follow the initial Porro shot. I was also rather enamoured of the cheeky shove he gave to his nearest marker, just to seal the deal and ensure that that chap at least would be nowhere near him when it came down to the business of gobbling up the scraps.

If Solanke’s first were a triumph for goal-poaching, his second seemed to scream that here was a man at the peak of his confidence. The pass from Spence that released him was a strong start, but Solanke still had plenty of hoops through to jump before doing that bow-and-arrow thing.

The initial sprint to get up on things was adequate, but hardly electric. When he then decided to drag the ball back, it may have helped bring the thing under control, but did also give a couple more United sorts a chance to trot back and man their stations. Events had progressed, but the balance of probability had remained where it was. The odds remained a little long.

At this point our man might have spotted that a couple of chums were arriving on his easterly wing, but whether he did or not was pretty moot. He seemed by now gripped with the notion that the floor was his and his alone, and accordingly he shimmied infield, taking out two defenders with a feint before cracking off his shot.

It was glorious stuff, near enough all his own work, and really deserved to be the headline that everyone prattled on about post-match.

3.1 Other Handy Showings: Bissouma

In paying a spot of well-earned deference in other corners of the pitch, I confess that I scratch the old bean and spend a bit more time than usual trying to scan the recesses to identify who did what. For this I once again blame Forster, for so seismic were his foul-ups that they have rather obscured everything else.

Nevertheless, I do recall at a pretty regular rate during the first half murmuring to myself an appreciative word on Master Bissouma. United had a bit too much joy for my liking, particularly when foregoing pleasantries and just cracking straight on with a ball over the top and into the space vacated by Porro. However, when they did try the more considered approach, of short passing through midfield, Bissouma was quite regularly to the fore, in the field of The Abrupt Ending of Things.

It was the sort of stuff I’d rather hoped, on his introduction a couple of years back, that he’d trot out like clockwork. For whatever reason, things haven’t really panned out that way on a weekly basis, but last night he was thrusting in a defensive foot like one of the boys. He racked up tackles and interceptions, and at one point also rolled out a Dembele-esque roll away from a meddlesome opponent.

3.2 Other Handy Showings: Gray

Young Gray was another who caught my eye. Both he and Dragusin generally worked their way through the 90 fairly inconspicuously, which is the sort of thing I like in my centre-backs. What travails they faced seemed due to the failings of those around them in midfield – or at right-back – rather than due to any fault of theirs. Moreover, between the pair of them they kept Hojlund quiet, on a night on which he looked pretty game.

I single out Gray from the pair principally because in that first half in particular, there were a few occasions when Fernandes from the United left curled some dangerous passes into awkward areas – the sort of spaces that forwards can attack and defenders rather gulp at, for fear of own-goaling or whatnot. Gray, to his credit did not gulp. Or if he did gulp, he did so subtly, and not in a manner that a casual observer would notice.

Instead, Gray rolled up his sleeves and dashed back towards the awkward areas being pinpointed. If a United forward were to arrive on the scene for a tap-in, they would have found that Gray had beaten them to it. This conscientious approach rather won me over.

It might not sound like much, but I feel like there’s been a bit of a diet at N17 over the years, of opposition strikers rocking up in our six-yard box to tap home unopposed, a Tottenham man straggling two or three yards back. Gray was allowing no such thing.

3.3 Other Handy Showings: Spence

And finally, young Spence. With each passing minute, the reasons for his previous lengthy absence become all the more baffling, but there we go. Solid enough defensively, chock-full of beans and spright going forward, and even alert enough to stay on his man at corners, Spence seemed to make all the right moves.

Udogie and Porro will presumably remain first choices, but Spence has shown enough on both sides of the defence to suggest that he’s pretty capable as a late sub, or a midweek starter to enable a spot of rest and rotation.

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Spurs match reports

Southampton 0-5 Spurs: Four Tottenham Talking Points

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1. Maddison

There are, of course, unwritten rules to be adhered to when it comes to the TV bods unveiling their Best Performing Actor from any given match, with ‘He Who Scored The Most Goals’ tending to get the nod, irrespective of any amount of honest toil delivered by others, in the less glamorous sectors. Last night’s on-camera gang weren’t about to break with tradition, so James Maddison duly had a yellow brick shoved into his lap.

And actually, although you may have detected a peevish tone that suggests that AANP has a grumble to uncork, on reflection it was a reasonable enough nomination.

Beginning with the headline stuff, Maddison took both his goals splendidly, the second in particular being the sort of work of art that deserves a spot of Lightning Seeds in the background, as one of the outstanding efforts of the season. The Cruyff-turn that outfoxed his opponent, to the extent that said opponent skidded off the perimeter and towards the hoardings, was of itself a triumph.

The finish that followed however, was deluxe stuff, tucked in from an angle that would have most of us shaking our heads and demanding a rethink of the whole scheme. For added garnish, he hit that impossible angle whilst himself being yanked off the pitch by the aforementioned stooge who had been dummied off in the direction of the hoardings. When he gets his bearings right, Maddison is capable of dishing up some mouth-watering produce.

As well as the goals he scored, Maddison was also embedded pretty deeply within the construction of a couple of others. If this realisation slightly creeps up on you, rather than being firmly embedded in the memory, it’s understandable enough, because frankly we scored so many and so quickly that one did have to keep the brain well-sharpened in order to monitor who was contributing to which goals.

For clarity, our second came about from a Maddison cross from the right, which skimmed off a Southampton head before Sonny popped up at the far post; and our third (Kulusevski’s tap-in) had its genesis in a Maddison spray from halfway inside our half to halfway inside theirs (for Son to run onto and square).

And having contributed so centrally to no fewer than four of our goals, Maddison could fairly reasonably have made the case that even if he had spent the rest of the game sitting cross-legged in a quiet spot near the edge of the pitch, neither interfering nor contributing any further, he’d still have merited recognition for his efforts.

Nevertheless, I’d venture that Maddison’s efforts around these four goal contributions were generally to be popped in the bucket marked ‘Kept Things Ticking Over’, rather than ‘Set The World Alight and Created An Endless Stream of Chances’. Maddison pootled about busily. His tail clearly up, he elbowed his way to the front of any queue going, and saw plenty of the ball, and against that clueless mob seemed to be enjoying himself pretty royally.

However, when I heard the telly bods trot out lines like, “When Maddison plays well, Tottenham play well”, I did cock the head, and wonder if they were just using a catchy tagline, rather than really getting to the heart of matters. To repeat, Maddison did not rustle up an endless stream of chances, nor pull did he pull every string going. He played perfectly well, but generally in more of a deep-lying, beaverish sort of way, helping to manage the game rather than constantly sparking attacks.

Still worthy enough of the Man of the Match gong I suppose, for those two finishes alone, so I’m not about to yank the yellow brick from his mitts and scream “Fraud!” at him; but the success of it all seemed to me to be down to the collective rather than Maddison and Maddison alone.

2. Djed Spence

In fact, when the conversation began about the game’s outstanding contributor, the first name that sprung to AANP’s mind was actually that of young Spence. Now, a second thought pretty swiftly followed, that to crown him thusly would probably be to over-egg things, but both the nature and the timing of his critical input was nevertheless of importance.

I refer to that collect-and-swivel routine he unveiled in the opening 20 seconds or so, receiving the ball just inside his own half, facing his own goal and with a Southampton cove crawling up his collar. Had he shoved the ball back whence it came and tooled off elsewhere for a bit of space and a quick, restorative gulp of O2, one would hardly have chided him.

Instead, however, and to his eternal credit, he used a spot of upper-body heft to hold off his opponent, and then, still using that u-b h., twirled the same opponent in a small circle, which resulted in Spence taking up new coordinates inside the Southampton half and facing their goal, with the opponent wondering quite how he had been elbowed to the back of the queue.

Nor did Spence stop to admire his work. Buoyed by his initial success, he kept right on marauding, before picking the perfect pass at the perfect moment, for Maddison to do the rest.

One might argue that, fine and noble work thought it was, such an inspired little burst hardly qualified Spence for consideration as player of the match. And it is true, this was one amongst many inspired moments of attacking nous rolled out by our heroes, in the first 45 in particular.

What arrested the AANP attention though, was the fact that a little earlier – about 20 seconds earlier, actually, at kick-off, but also for a good few days leading up to that – the mood amongst our lot was anything but joyful and triumphant. I suppose I speak only for the denizens of AANP Towers, but following the games against Galatasaray and Fulham and Bournemouth and Chelsea and Rangers, there were some furrowed brows and pretty angst-riddled deep-and-meaningfuls about the place.

Going into yesterday’s bash, I rather held my breath as proceedings got underway. Not quite sure where things were going, if you follow. And it’s in this context, that Spence’s little opening gambit made such an impression upon the AANP soul. Had he not spun his man and gone a-haring, but instead biffed the ball back to the centre-backs, to give back to Forster, to concede a throw inside our half, there’s no real knowing how things might have played out.

For Spence to give the shoulders and shrug and dive straight into the heart of the Southampton defence instead set a marvellous tone for the night. Of course it helped that they simply melted away in front of him, but nevertheless. Had he passed backwards, they might not have had the opportunity to start melting.

Spence turned up on the shores of N17 with rather a reputation for getting into the meat of things as an attacking full-back, so on seeing him finally selected I had certainly hoped to see a bit of that fabled swashbuckler – but by golly I didn’t expect it to be quite so immediate and effective.

3. Bergvall

I also doffed the cap towards young Bergvall for his efforts. Probably best to scatter a little context about the place for this one, actually.

Bergvall’s little cameos hither and thither have generally underwhelmed this particular observer. Jolly harsh, I suppose you might say, but the common thread I’d picked up from his occasional substitute appearances in the league, and some underwhelming bilge in Europe, has been of a young imp – of admittedly decent touch – who has nowhere near the requisite body mass to cope in a world of burly, grizzled professionals. Many an eyeroll has been delivered around these parts at the sight of Bergvall being tossed aside by opposing midfielders. “One for the future, I suppose,” has been the politest verdict.

Credit where due, he seemed vastly better equipped for his night’s work when brought on in midweek against Rangers, which was impressive stuff given the atmosphere and whatnot. He peddled a neat line in intelligent touches, and it seemed appropriate that our equaliser came within 15 minutes of his introduction.

One nevertheless emitted a bit of a gulp at seeing his name scrawled into the Starting XI yesterday, but as it turned out he simply picked up at Southampton where he had left off at Rangers, and trotted out a most accomplished performance. The moral of the story is evidently not to judge an 18 year-old on the basis of a dozen substitute appearances dotted around the place and a couple of dubious Europa League showings.

Nor, I suppose, should I hail him as the new incarnation of Modric on the basis of one neat-and-tidy against the league’s bottom side. Nevertheless, that combo of neat passing, excellent touch and sensible decision-making did make me think that we have a ready-made Bentancur reserve in situ.

4. Archie Gray, But With an Asterisk

And frankly, if I’m going to witter on about Spence and Bergvall, it hardly seems fair to scrawl “The End”, and beetle off for a splash or two of bourbon, without acknowledging that young Archie Gray has had his head dunked underwater for two successive games now, and has shrugged it all off with barely a flicker of concern. For any midfielder to fill in at centre-back is a bit thick; for an 18 year-old to do so without any prior experience, new to the club and in a team that, at any given point in any given match, is likely to be almightily outnumbered on the counter-attack, borders on child cruelty.

Gray, however, has twice now negotiated the task like a seasoned pro. Let’s face it, here at Spurs we have suffered through our fair share of calamitous centre-backs, capable of – and seemingly intent on – unleashing disaster with their every involvement. Gray is none of the above. Gray seems the sort of young bean whose idea of a good night at centre-back is one in which he fades into the background such that one barely realises he’s been playing. AANP approves.

He was a bit more circumspect in possession last night than against Rangers on Thursday, which was no bad thing, but also made one mightily impressive last-ditch tackle late in the game yesterday, to preserve the clean sheet. One doesn’t really know quite what the plan is with his development and position and so on, but frankly I feel more assured with him at the back than with several other of our more experienced sorts.

Having said all that, however, and amidst all the backslaps, our lot did allow Southampton two absolute dollies right in front of goal, in the first half. Both from crosses from the right, both of which found two strikers given the freedom of the penalty area. Not really being cut out for the defensive game I struggle to name the guilty party in our colours, but Dragusin seemed to be the man with the best view of proceedings, and one would expect him to have been doing the organising of the defensive line.

It’s probably a grumble for another day, though. I’ve lost track of the official, designated mood amongst the faithful, and quite who we’re meant to be grumbling about now, but last night was proof if ever it were needed (and that hilarious goal difference further hammers home the point) that when on song our lot can absolutely tear to pieces an opponent.

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Spurs match reports

Rangers 1-1 Spurs: Four Tottenham Talking Points

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1. Werner and Ange’s Comments

An early vox pops suggest that AANP is in a minority on this one, but I raised an eyebrow at Our Glorious Leader’s post-match critique of Timo Werner.

A bit of admin is probably needed here in the first place, just so that everyone knows where they stand. For a start, there’s Ange’s own take on it. From the horse’s mouth:

“He wasn’t playing at anywhere near the level he should be. Timo’s first-half performance was not acceptable to me. I told Timo that he’s a German international, that I need everyone to be trying to give their best and this wasn’t an acceptable example. I expect a lot more from the senior guys.”

And if you want a sense of the tone in which he soliloquyed, think Angry Bear Tries To Use Looks Alone To Kill Press Conference Attendees.

Next up there’s AANP’s own take on Werner’s 45 minutes’ worth last night. For clarity, I’m hardly defending the chap’s performance. If you close your eyes, block out the background hubbub and try to imagine literally any Timo Werner performance in our colours over the last 12 months, you’ve probably hit the bullseye. It was that.

More specifically, his finishing was poor and his crossing was poor, but he seemed as willing a runner as ever. He tried, as he always does; and his output was exasperatingly off, as it always is. (He also embellished things, if that’s really the word I want, with one moment in which he miscontrolled a whopping pass from Fraser Forster, which would have had us off and away, so that made for a conspicuous lowlight – but it hardly seems fair to throw him down the pan for a single doltish moment.)

The point I’m getting at is that this just struck me as standard Werner fare. By which I suppose I mean it was actually pretty sub-standard, but still exactly what we’re used to.

And precisely because it was all so normal, I’m slightly taken aback by Ange’s post-match sting. Not like him to single out a chappie and pour hot oil over them, what? If he’s going to indulge in a spot of Werner-bashing, why now? He’s had 25 appearances for our lot, most of which have been around the same level, after all.

On top of which, if he’s going to bash anyone, why Werner? Let’s face it, there have been no shortage of performances from various amongst our number that have stunk the place out over the past 18 months or so.

It might have been a carefully choreographed spiel, part of a wider plan to ensure that all squad members see a spot of public lashing and think to themselves, “Crikey, I’d better pull up my own socks”; or it might be that Ange’s patience with Werner’s constant butchering of his lines has finally run out. Either way, though, I gave the chin a bit of a stroke at that one.

2. Dragusin and Gray

It’s becoming a big day for AANP failing to read the mood in the room, for when I cheerily put it to my Spurs-supporting chum Dave that Dragusin was doing a bit better than normal (a low bar, admittedly, but let’s crack on), he hit back with some pretty scything patter, the gist of which seemed to be that last night was the straw that had broken the back of that particular camel, and that he had given up on the fellow.

Now I appreciate that Dragusin’s passing was somewhat errant. Indeed, he seemed to have decided to create his own entertainment for himself, in closing his eyes, picking a random direction and firing out the ball in said direction. Endless fun for him; a bit less thrilling for his teammates.

However, putting aside his curious distribution, when it came to the fundamentals of central defending, I chalked this up as one of his better days. There was none of the Romero-esque charges upfield to challenge for loose balls and thereby leave yawning gaps behind him. Instead, Dragusin adopted generally sensible positions, and did a solid enough job of blocking, intercepting and in some instances politely shoving.

Rangers at various periods gave us a bit of a hammering; Dragusin was generally there to help repel them.

And I thought that young Gray could be similarly marked, in terms of making a mess of things in possession (via the medium of dribbles from the back that were abruptly ended, rather than errant passing) but also putting in a pretty solid showing when it came to the basics of defending.

Gray probably merits a slightly extended wittering, being not only inexperienced as a player but completely new to the position. To be thrust into that sort of environment, in a role for which he has had precious little training over the years, and plough through the full 90 without any notable errors, merits a tip of the cap.

As mentioned, he did run into trouble pretty much every time he tried to bring the ball out of defence, but even there I’m inclined to turn him a kindly eye. If Romero, VDV, Dragusin etc peeled off that sort of thing I’d admittedly unleash both barrels. But, truth be told, I was actually rather impressed that Gray had the confidence to try carrying the ball forward from the back. He’ll perhaps need to learn when to finish sashaying and when to pass the thing; but he seems to have the ability to do it. All in all, a fairly impressive first stab in the role from the young imp.

3. Porro and the Same Old Goal

A few weeks ago some footage sprung up on the interweb of our lot conceding three or four different goals, in near-identical fashion. In each instance they were deliveries from the opposition right, which reached the far post, an area nominally the domain of one Pedro Porro – but the punchline here is that in each instance young P.P. was a long way off current events, and the relevant opposition bobbie was able to convert unopposed from a slightly-left-of-centre area.

Well of course, it happened again last night. One might point out that the detail around the edges was a little different – this one emanating from a cross from deep – but the principle dashed well remains. Whatever the hell goes on between the Porro ears, one can bet one’s mortgage on it not being anything about defending at the far post.

He might angrily wave a hand or two and complain that actually he was in the vicinity, closer than anyone else in fact. However, were he to do so, by way of riposte I’d remove a shoe, throw it at his head, and yell at him that being in the vicinity is no good at all if he’s going to let the opponent wander goal side of him, with a neat circumference around him of two or three yards that is exclusively his, in which to conduct himself as he pleases.

Porro, in common with most defenders in Ange-era Spurs, seems to consider that the principal role of a defender is to contribute to attacks, preferably by stationing himself north of halfway. It makes the forehead veins absolutely bulge to popping level to see him constantly five yards behind his opposing forward whenever they counter-attack.

This was all the more galling yesterday, given the considered efforts of Gray and Dragusin to put out fires more centrally. If Ange really did want to have a pop at those players gumming things up, he might have just as easily have picked on Porro.

4. Midfield Lack of Bite

As always seems to be the case, it felt that whichever team had the ball last night looked they would score within a pass or two.

When our lot purr they look capable of scoring against the best defences around, and our goal yesterday was lovely stuff – patience at the back before a few slick, one-touch passes to get us from A to B, and then a spot of smart decision-making around the edge of the area.

Equally, however, when having lost possession, alarm bells sound all over the place. And much of the reason for this is the wisp-like nature of our midfield. Slap bang on the five-minute mark, Bentancur was barged off the ball and into a different dimension by a Rangers sort (quite likely that Raskin chap, who made a habit of it all night), and it struck me as summing up not just the current Tottenham vintage but every Spurs side I’ve seen since first casting eyes upon them in the 80s.

Earnest beans like Johnson, Maddison, Son, Werner, Bentancur, Bergvall (who I thought gave his best performance so far last night, very Bentancur-esque) and so on will all bob about in the right places when we lose possession, and make a bit of a demonstration of trying to dip in an impeding foot, but it’s all pretty much decorative. They know, we know and the opposition know that our midfield really isn’t going to stop anything. The real business begins when the ball is shoved straight past them, and Forster and the back-four have to defend the penalty area.

Whether this is due to individuals just not winning their own personal duels, or something more structural, is beyond me. Whatever the reason, we remain alarmingly easy to attack, and end up simply rely upon scoring enough, rather than preventing the other lot.

Bissouma is the one chap upon whom much of the responsibility lies actually to prevent opposition attacks at source, and while he generally pops up two or three times per game with a useful enough tackle of some species, in general he’s not really demonstrated an ability to hold down the entire fort single-handedly.

So it’s a bit of a pickle, but that, I suppose, is why Our Glorious Leader is paid the fat envelope.

Credit to our lot nevertheless, for coming from behind, evidently not an easy thing to do in the circumstances. At full strength I’d have expected us to rock up and win against that lot, but given the current list of absentees, and the fact that we were second best for much of the night, a point represents pretty healthy stock. One hopes that those in the corridors of power are starting to take the hint, and will be dusting off their chequebooks this January.

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New Spurs Book Out Now – “All Action No Plot: Postecoglou’s First Season”

“One could hardly suggest that when Son crept into view the coast was clear. The coast was crowded, and in fact fast becoming something of a claustrophobe’s nightmare. Bodies were advancing upon the poor lad like vultures getting right down to it for their daily spot of carcass.”

All Action No Plot: Postecoglou’s First Season is based loosely on the weekly chronicles of the Tottenham Hotspur blog All Action, No Plot, during 2023-24. That season will live long in the memory, as the beginning of an extraordinary, exhilarating new era under Ange Postecoglou – and no writer captured the madness as wittily as the AANP blogger, Michael Lacquiere. His combination of eloquent prose and ludicrous humour made for matchday reflections as compelling as the games themselves.

From the heady success of Postecoglou’s opening months in charge, which saw Spurs’ relentless attacking style take them to the top of the Premier League and dreaming of glory, to the turning-point of the season in an incredible nine-man defeat in November, through to a finale in which European qualification was secured while fans cheered on a home defeat, no team in the country was as entertaining as Tottenham. Relive Ange’s wild first season at Spurs with this match-by-match account from the pen of one of English football’s finest comic writers.

Out now for just £7.99, order your paperbook copy now from Amazon, in time for Christmas (ebook from £6.99).

All Action No Plot: Postecoglou’s First Season – the perfect stocking-filler for any Spurs fan.

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 3-4 Chelsea: Four Tottenham Talking Points

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1. “It’s All Ange’s Fault”

You don’t need grey matter bulging from every seam to spot that there’s a bit of a grumble ongoing in N17 about Our Glorious Leader, nor does it require an IQ off the scale to pick up on the principal sticking-point. There’s set-pieces of course, and variations on the theme of late substitutions and whatnot, but what’s really rattling the masses seems to be the sticking to the principle of Thou Shalt Attack, no matter the time, place or – critically – situation.

Even as a fully signed up apologist for the man, I do squint a bit at seeing every outfield player hopping from foot to foot, desperate to be let off the leash and fly upfield when we’re 2-0 up. One does pause for a moment and consider whether someone out there might hang back, to add a layer of security at the rear. Well, if you’re actually playing in the match you obviously don’t consider any such thing at all, and Ange sure as heck isn’t interested in such topics, but for most other onlookers it’s a suggestion that at least seems to merit a spot of back-and-forth at the next committee meeting.

However, the on-pitch drill is just to keep flinging forward every fit and able man, with the inevitable sequel that there are wide open spaces everywhere one looks whenever the opposition pilfer the ball and scoot off back at us.

The whole thing is embellished by those moments when, having survived such counter-attacks by the skin of our teeth and kindly intervention of the gods, we then attempt rather casually to play out from the back, treating the whole thing as if it were against a combination of mannequins and pre-schoolers rather than hardened internationals. The result, peeled off numerous times yesterday, is that we lose possession outside our own area and pulse-rates quicken once again.

A tad vexing for sure, and an accusation that could be laid pretty squarely at the door of A. Postecoglou Esq. And bafflingly, rather than draw himself up in court to make the case for the defence, Our Glorious Leader would presumably vault over the bench and position himself alongside the those making the accusation, agreeing whole-heartedly that attacking-no-matter-the-situation is indeed precisely his approach.

Personally, I consider that we’re just a minor adjustment or two away from a pretty ripping balance of fizzing attack and hearty common-sense, but Ange is all-in and there we remain. Two-goal leads will continue to be blown. It is, so goes the argument, essentially all his fault. A 51% win percentage does not scream unparalleled success.

2. “It’s Not All Ange’s Fault”

As mentioned, I do think everyone concerned might benefit from a little adjustment of the settings, but for various reasons AANP does not really subscribe to the ‘All Ange’s Fault’ argument.

For a start there’s squad depth. I wittered on about this one a few days ago, following the Bournemouth loss, so if you’re rolling your eyes and begging me to get on with it, you’re welcome to skip a paragraph or two, or boil a kettle, or in some other way amuse yourself.

For those who remain, the post-Bournemouth summary was threefold, viz.

  1. Quality on the pitch is dropping because lack of squad depth means we’re having to use reserves regularly;
  2. No-one is getting a rest and injuries are therefore mounting, because we’re having to use reserves regularly;
  3. No-one is getting a rest so they’re not running as hard each game, which Angeball requires in order to work

Somebody somewhere in the offices of power therefore needs a stern word, for the inexcusable offence of leaving the manager with a squad not fit for the purpose of outrunning the opposition twice a week. A reserve list of Dragusin, Davies and Gray to cover the entire back-four in three different competitions was always likely to have a dubious smell emanating from it. (Young Spence is presumably deemed not quite good enough, but even if he were used I’d still suggest we require an additional reserve or two of higher quality at the back – and that’s before we look higher up the pitch)

If the three points blathered on about above were indeed true (and it’s debatable), it means a critical problem will just continue to dance away independently at least until the January transfer window opens.

(Taking a step back, I do wonder if Grandmaster Levy has been convinced, by Poch’s over-achievements on a shoestring, that success can be pinched by paying well below-the-odds, through a little managerial alchemy. Sack Ange, and I’m not sure much will change until Levy’s spending habits do.)

However, even if true, all of this wouldn’t explain why Dragusin lost his man against Bournemouth, or why Bissouma and Sarr clattered their men for the penalties yesterday, or why no-one saw fit to stick to Sancho and prevent his shot yesterday, or why Porro did not fling his entire frame in the way of Enzo Fernandez’s shot yesterday. Or, to paraphrase, I’m not sure there’s much Ange (or indeed Levy) can do about handsomely-remunerated footballers making utterly block-headed decisions.

I’m not suggesting that we lost purely because several idiots did idiotic things. One could reasonably suggest that the team’s mentality, which stems from the manager, of trying relentlessly to continue playing high-risk football, hindered rather than helped the cause yesterday.

Nevertheless, pulling aside the opposition players to dish out a few freebies, at critical points in the match, does make the head slowly droop into the hands, and prompt one to wonder what’s the bally point of it all.

Apparently a few weeks ago, young Kulusevski mentioned in an interview his frustration that our heroes do not behave like champions on the training pitch. This is all second-hand info, so I apologise if I give his actual words a mangling, but I understand he hammered home that our lot need to train like champions, talk like champions, walk around the premises like champions and so on, if standards are to rise the requisite number of notches come kick-off. Winning sentiments, if you ask me. Our lot sure as heck don’t conduct themselves like champions at present.

3. Romero, Van de Ven and the Injuries

Football being what it is, I suppose we all took the same traumatic journey from the pre-match high of seeing both Romero and VDV restored to the pitch, to the sudden punch to the gut after 20 or so, of seeing Romero hobble off. The mood obviously blackened further with VDV’s enforced removal, although the mutterings since at least suggest that his is just a flesh-wound.

A bit of yammering has naturally ensued about whether either, or both, were fit to start inb the first place, given that neither finished. On the one hand, one might argue that Romero was absent with one injury and departed yesterday with another, and as such the two events are unrelated and the whole is just dashed bad luck.

On the other hand, however, one might rather sniffily point out that had he been given more time to condition himself, he wouldn’t have picked up his fresh injury yesterday. And if one were to keep shoving that point towards its logical conclusion, one might swing the spotlight right back onto the manager, for making such a risk-laden call.

It’s difficult to opine really, and AANP not having an ounce of medical knowledge in his frame is steering well clear of that argument. Instead I’ll put my energies into general lamentation, about the fact that we were 2-0 up when Romero exited, and proceeded to concede four goals in the hour that followed.

4. Solanke

If you’re in the market for a silver lining, however, it was nice to see young Solanke get a brief moment in the spotlight. By virtue of doing all the donkey-work in deeper positions, and not really banging them away like a six-yard poacher might, the chap seems to be occasionally a little under-appreciated, by the wider public at least. Speak to the N17 regulars and they’ll give him a generous hand, but cast the net a little further and the inclination is generally to query whether he bangs them in like Haaland, and dismiss him if he doesn’t.

As it happened, his goal yesterday was an absolute triumph of six-yard poaching. It was a masterclass in directing a run in one direction, and appearing to disappear behind the back of the defender; before, at the vital moment, diverting off at an angle and reappearing in front of the defender, who by this time was pretty flummoxed in the matter of his whereabouts.

The reward, richly earned, was an opportunity to get to the ball first and poke it towards goal – a goal that, by this point, had been completely vacated by the goalkeeper, he also seemingly thrown by Solanke’s movement and not for one moment expecting a shot.

Solanke’s hard work continued, in a string of first-half dialogues with the burly Chelsea defender minding him, and that we were able to create – and miss – various presentable chances across the remainder of the match owed much to his behind-the-scenes beavering. So when Big Ange surveys the ever-mounting Inbox, he can at least allow his day to brighten with the cheery news that Solanke is still fighting the good fight pretty bobbishly.

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Bournemouth 1-0 Spurs: Three Tottenham Talking Points

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1. Absences

AANP is pretty sharp, so when I saw travelling fans yelling at Our Glorious Leader, noted online forums filled with anti-Ange sentiment and received a slew of message from Spurs-supporting chums declaring the end of their patience with the man, it didn’t take me long to spot that something might be up.

And it couldn’t have been much more than 12 hours later that the penny dropped. Spurs fans across the land are starting to sprinkle their usual sunny outlooks with a few choice murmurs. Natives are growing restless. Die-hard Postecoglou fans are beginning to scrunch up their faces. The point here is that the pressure is mounting like nobody’s business upon The Big Cheese, to change things for the better.

If you want a stick with which to beat the man they come in all shapes and sizes at the moment. Take set-pieces, for example, an area on which I heard Ange moaning that we’ve only conceded three goals this season, but which appeared pretty obviously to be a fatal flaw last night. Then there’s the chap’s tactics, which since Day One have tended to stipulate, from top to bottom and inclusive of all detail, ‘Attack’, with seemingly minimal scope for just about any other nuance that might stiffen things up a tad at the rear.

I could go on a fair bit, but one gets the picture. All is not well. The occasional rampant wins of recent months don’t seem to count for much when the team is outplayed by both Fulham and Bournemouth within the space of five days.

Personally, while I’m not touring the local guillotine stores just yet, I won’t deny that the mood has darkened somewhat over the last week. It’s the absence of performances of swash and buckle that is putting the bird on me. I could put up with the odd bobbins of a result here and there, if we were still swarming all over the opposition throughout the 90, but on Sunday and then again last night, our heroes were pretty alarmingly off the pace.

Rather than demand a pound of Aussie flesh however, I’m more inclined to point to squad depth – or lack thereof – as the issue that has me bristling at present. Now one may well roll the eyes, fling a blunt object at my head and point out that set-pieces and bonkers tactics have been glaring concerns since long before the squad was decimated, and will continue to be GCs long after the invalids are all restored to full health. And that would be a pretty compelling point.

One might also point out that every club in every division has their fair share of injury-induced sob stories, so our heroes might as well stiffen the upper lips, slap on a bandage and get back out there.

Here, however, I would raise a disagreeing finger. While all teams no doubt do have injuries, I’d suggest that few are without both centre-backs and goalkeepers for any length of time. Indeed, were such a fate to befall your average Premier League team, one could well imagine a slightly shonky run of results kicking in.

In particular, I cast the mind back to the fuss made over the absence of but one player at Man City, and consider that our lot – and our manager – are probably due a bit of breathing space. Similarly, when Woolwich lost the principal cog in their machine, the absence of that single player sent them off into a brief freefall.

What I’m getting at is that absences of key players are a bit of a pain, and a good bet to disrupt even the hardiest outfits.

The troubling nature of it all is ramped up a few notches when one throws in a fixture-list that is pretty solidly twice-a-week stuff from now until the new year, meaning that even the reserves are now being relied upon constantly. As well as the dip in quality that this brings, it also means that none of those involved, be they regulars or reserves, are allowed much chance to have a night off, put their feet up and catch their breath.

Skipping to the sorry conclusion of all this, it means that our lot simply are not as energetic as they should be for a system such as Angeball, since they’re constantly being called upon. And to hammer home the sorry state of things, as well as not playing particularly well when every last ounce of energy is being ground out of them, they are also more likely to crumple in some heap and point to an offending hamstring or groin or whatever, as demonstrated by Ben Davies last night.

Clearly, then, the solution is to skip back in time a few months and prop up the squad with a few more signings in critical areas (if you think things are bad now sans Vicario, Romero and VDV, just wait until Porro and Udogie limp off in the coming weeks).

I suppose one might also suggest that nibs like Spence, Bergvall and Lankshear could be used a bit more to spread the load, but the informed response to that would presumably be that these chaps are simply not yet good enough. One might also suggest that given the non-stop galloping required of this system, at least one member of The Brains Trust ought to have foreseen that injuries would ravage the place at some point, and stocked the cupboard accordingly, but there we are. From AANP Towers, all remaining personnel look utterly spent.

2. Archie Gray

As for the match itself, and the cast list who performed it, there wasn’t too much to whistle cheerily about. Archie Gray at least looked a mite more comfortable – which is to say he looked a mite less uncomfortable – at right-back than he had previously done in European jollies in that position.

He still is pretty obviously a midfielder being asked to make up in youth and willing what he massively lacks in know-how at full-back. However, when we were in possession and he was granted licence to sniff around in the opposition half, he seemed rather game. In fact, whacky though it sounds, I’d rather like to see him get a start in central midfield some time, for he seems keen to bob about on the ball and seek out short passes.

Not much chance of that happening, of course, with centre-back seemingly his next destination, which ought to be an adventure. He gave it 20 or so there last night, and did about as well as one might expect I suppose. In truth, the basics of defending seem still to confuse him at times, but it’s hardly surprising.

3. Forster

If you woke up this morning with the bright idea of trying neatly to categorise Fraser Forster’s evening, I offer you one of those sympathetic shoulder-pats. Bit of a mixed bag from the great hulking tree trunk of a man.

On the one hand there was another string of pretty top-notch saves – all close-range, instinctive stuff, the type it’s easy to take for granted, but which on reflection does make you give a little nod of approval.

On the other hand, however, there was the calamitous pass that led to Bournemouth’s disallowed goal. Actually rather a shame in my book, because it seems to me that these tales of Forster’s gross inability with his feet are vastly overcooked. He’s no Luka Modric when it comes to picking a pass, admittedly, but by and large he seems to complete the task reasonably enough each time.

Until he doesn’t, I suppose, and the pass to the Bournemouth chappie was absolutely dripping in risk, as well as being a few notches off the mark. Forster at least had the decency to redeem himself with another of those mightily impressive saves of his, but one could hardly just focus on the save and bat off its disastrous prequel.

It’s a little difficult therefore to stamp an 8 out of 10 on his performance. One cannot really gloss over the misplaced passes that bring about the downfall of the collective – in much the same way as one can hardly ignore Dragusin’s ill-timed walkabout for the Bournemouth goal, and just claim that he was fairly neat and tidy throughout. These things matter. We can’t have our clan-members scattering around mistakes that end up with the ball in our net, and shrugging it off as part of the deal.

Frankly though, this defeat owed more to collective failings than any individual error – and as I yammered about earlier, the rapidly dropping energy levels about the place strike me as having a lot to do with this.

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Spurs 1-1 Fulham: Three Tottenham Talking Points

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1. Dragusin

Radu Dragusin reminds me a little of Eric Dier. Now I suppose if you’re a particularly kindly soul, you may clasp your hands together in joy, a beaming smile across your map, and murmur, “Oh, how charming!” or something similar.

Unfortunately, if this were the case I’d have to step right in and cut you off mid-flow. The Dier-esque epithets I toss at Dragusin are hardly complimentary. Quite the opposite, in fact. This is not to suggest that Dragusin stank the place out from first bell to last. It’s more to suggest that so far in his lilywhite career he seems more brawn than brain, and specifically brawn of the slow-moving, slightly lumbering brand. Dier-esque, one might suggest.

And if you’re stroking the chin at that, I’d direct you towards yesterday’s offerings to ram home the point. In fact, I could direct you towards any one of Dragusin’s recent string of four or five games. Perhaps generously waving aside that Galatasaray game as an exceptionally off-night, his outputs have generally failed to inspire confidence. Admittedly he has, without fail, puffed out his chest, chewed his gum and certainly looked like one who considers himself master of all he surveys. But when it actually comes to the delivering as pledged, one does scrunch the face a little, and politely point out that he’s messing up some of the basics.

The early signs yesterday were promising enough, as his first major involvement was to shove out of possession some Fulham scamp who was trying to beat him for pace on the flank. In the appropriate context, Dragusin is clearly capable of applying some upper-body mass to lend force to an argument.

Not long afterwards, however, his Eric Dier Tribute Act really gathered momentum when he made a bit of a lunge around halfway. It was the sort of challenge which is fine in principle, but in practice does require a certain sharpness from the blocks. Dragusin, however, is not really the sort who can spring in lightning quick fashion from a standing start. I’m not sure he can spring in lightning quick fashion from a running start either, to be honest. Anyway, for whatever reason, the Fulham lad’s nipping away of the ball was carried out at a far quicker speed than Dragusin’s lunge, and Fulham were away.

I also noted that the two clear-cut chances Fulham made in the first half, were presented to the man who Dragusin, along with the ever-vacant Porro, was supposed to be monitoring.

So far, so Dier. What then emphasised the likeness in my eyes was a couple of his attempts to distribute the ball further north. These, quite simply, missed their target, gifting possession to Fulham around halfway and thereby prompting an about-turn from all in lilywhite.

Now it’s worth emphasising here that in criminally misdirecting passes of between 5 and 15 yards, Dragusin was by no means the sole culprit. It was indicative of a generally horrendous performance amongst the entire outfield mob that seemed utterly incapable of stringing a few basic passes together without the radar shutting down and the ball hitting a red shirt.

Nevertheless, this hardly excused Dragusin. Neither did it do much to instil confidence.

As mentioned above, this was not unadulterated filth from the chap throughout. He had good moments as well as bad, I simply noted a bit too much in the Debit column for my liking. He ended up with a big thick tick in the Credit column, however, with that stoppage-time clearance off the line after Ben Davies’ solid, retreating trundle saw him beaten for pace. As such, I suppose that as third or fourth-choice centre-back he’s competent enough. Moreover, it can take a good year or so for these foreign fellows to find their feet in the Premier League, so he might yet improve considerably. I just found myself shaking my head at him once too often yesterday, and recalling a former member of the parish.

2. Forster

AANP occasionally watches a spot of tennis to pass an idle hour, and one notion that occurred to me on seeing Andy Murray recently call time on his career, was that it was rotten luck for him to be born when he was. Not much he could have done about it of course. In my experience babies will often delay things for a week or two, for sport, but there’s not much scope for them to press pause for a whole decade. Not the done thing.

So Murray was stuck with the era in which popped up, and as such had to look on a little forlornly as three of the best players ever hoovered up most of the gongs. And in a roundabout way, having watched Fraser Forster pull off  a number of goal-worthy reflex saves that kept us in the game yesterday, the thought occurred that, in a different era, he too might have been feted one of the very best in the business.

Certainly his shot-stopping, in his couple of engagements so far, has been of the highest quality. In general too, being of sturdy construction and about fourteen feet tall, he deals with crosses in pretty dominant fashion. With such qualities to his name, had he sprung up in the 80s, 90s or 00s, for example, he might well have been regarded as one of the elite.

These days, however, the standard goalkeeper plucked from the street is expected first and foremost to pass from feet. From the back, and over short distances. Show composure and accuracy with the ball at your feet, seems to be the instruction, and the stuff with the hands can be tacked on later.

Gone are the days when the goalkeeper’s work was done upon having grasped the ball, and they could simply kick from their hands over halfway, and lean back against the goalpost for a snooze. If they can’t pass ten yards to their nearby colleagues, and occasionally bypass half the opposition with a 20-yarder through the lines, then they won’t get a look in.

When it comes to passing from feet, Forster actually competent enough, from what we see, but one wouldn’t really grade him any more highly than that. One or two of his passes yesterday did go a bit rogue and land at Fulham feet. I suppose one might argue that that can happen to the best of us from time to time, but the point is that he does not really come across as one whose greatest forte is as a ball-player.

To repeat, however, his saves won us a point yesterday. Due to a general air of incompetence from those around him, Fulham were allowed far too many efforts on goal, several of which were of the clear-cut variety, and at least two required Forster to churn out some point-blank stuff. And let’s face it, point-blank saves are as close as goalkeepers will get to scoring themselves.

3. Quite the Off-Day

Forster and his shot-stopping aside, it is difficult to muster up too much enthusiasm about any other individuals. Maddison beavered, and picked one or two passes that quickened the pulse, but one would only describe him as a constant menace, or something similar, if one had fingers crossed behind one’s back and a pretty guilty-looking expression etched across the face.

There some extenuating circumstances, for Solanke soldiers away like an absolute trooper when available – and one of those troopers who delights in getting covered with filth if it helps the collective – so his absence, and the unavailability of Richarlison, hamstrung us like nobody’s business. It might have been a day to start young Lankshear, but that’s not a grumble into which I’m going to put much lung-power. The lad still looks a tad undercooked.

Without a dominant focal point our lot were unable to hold up the ball, and generally seemed a bit lost as to what the point of the whole thing was once they gained possession. As front-threes go, it is difficult to imagine a more soft and delicate combo than Son, Werner and Johnson. One understands the decision to give Kulusevski a bit of a breather, but no Solanke or Richarlison about the place either, it left us frightfully lightweight in attack.

AANP has generally been pretty forgiving of Angeball and Our Glorious Leader. When we lose games having had 20 shots on goal, I’ll tend to shrug it off, on the grounds that, by and large, playing that way we’ll win (and handsomely so) more than we’ll lose/draw. Indeed, hearty batterings of various half-decent sides this season seem to bear that out.

Where the mood darkens, however, is when a general insipidity washes over the collective from start to finish. The fact that Fulham can beetle up to our place and conjure up more shots on target,  and slope off feeling aggrieved not to have won, is pretty troubling. As mentioned, generally when we fail to win it’s just because a stream of shots failed to find the net; but yesterday (and against Palace a month or two ago), darker forces were at work.

Bizarrely, we remain only 5 points off second, but if anything this hammers home the frustration of having dropped more eminently winnable points.

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 2-2 Roma: Three Tottenham Talking Points

1. Who We Are, Mate

After losing at home to the bottom side and then tonking the champions away, I suppose it actually made perfect sense that our heroes spent the entirety of yesterday lurching wildly between rip-roaring attack and what you might call pretty vacant defending. In short, every time either side attacked – in fact, every time either side won possession – they looked like they might score, and once we’d got past all the VAR calls and shots off the woodwork and other-worldly saves, we might have had a scoreline of around 8-8.

To suggest that this approach is universally popular would seem to misread the mood about the place somewhat. Here at AANP Towers, naturally, we lap it up, but there are plenty who cross their arms in disgust and give tongue to a few choice complaints, in increasingly irate tones. No point entertaining if we’re not going to win anything, is, I understand, the gist of the objection.

Not that Our Glorious Leader is about to budge on the matter, judging by his post-match remarks, in which he essentially tossed into the nearest bin the very concept of grinding out some 0-0s and 1-0s to ensure qualification. Entertaining football remains very much the key ingredient where he is concerned, so we can expect last night’s madness to be bottled up and uncorked on a bi-weekly basis for the foreseeable. AANP will be at the front of the queue.

2. Forster

Poor old Vicario deserves to have a medal pinned to his chest at some point, for playing a full hour with a snapped ankle at the weekend, in what was quite the commendation of the virtues of adrenaline.

The upshot of it all was that Fraser Forster was shoved into the spotlight for his 90-plus yesterday. Forster, of course, is a lad who Nature started building but then got distracted and forgot to stop, with the result that he is about two persons’ worth shoved into one. This at least makes him a handy chap to have around at corners, with any dastardly opposition plans to buffet him à la Vicario unlikely to bring home much fruit.

The narrative doing the rounds was that being built like a small oak was all well and good, but Forster would come a cropper the moment he was required to rearrange the feet and do a spot of short-passing-from-the-back. The air was therefore thick with anticipation when the goal-kicks started flowing and Forster obediently played short, but anyone hoping to point a triumphant index finger at him and scream, “See? I knew it!” was to be left a little disappointed. We did butcher several of those play-out-from-the-back routines, no doubt about it, but in truth Forster was not really the culprit.

One would not say he was particularly inept in this field. Not particularly sensational either, for one must take the balanced view. But rumours of his inadequacy with ball at feet were evidently over-played. Forster popped the ball left and right (mostly left, actually), accurately and sensibly enough, and Davies and chums got on with things.

As mentioned, things went awry thereafter, on a pretty regular basis in the first half, but this seemed to be down to the infuriatingly flippant attitude of others in lilywhite, who seemed convinced that Roma players would obligingly look the other way and allow the ball to be played around them. Forster himself seemed accurate and sensible enough with his passing.

More of a pre-match concern to AANP had been Forster’s shot-stopping. Working on the rationale that an enormous oak, when sawn off at the base, will take a good, elongated second or two to fall to earth, I gnawed a slightly nervous fingernail at the prospect of Forster being called into lightning-quick reflex activity. Toss the ball high into the crowd and Forster is your man, went my thinking; fire a shot low to his sides, and things might get sticky.

Those fears were hardly assuaged by the first Roma goal. Although directed high rather than low, it nevertheless stood out as a moment of ignominy for our resident giant, as rather than skip across his line to engineer a position closer to the ball, he opted to leave his feet planted firmly where they were, and sought to remedy matters from a standing start. Well, it did not take an expert in the field to see that this approach was laced with difficulty, even for one standing at approximately nine foot eight. Forster’s leap amounted to little more than a footnote, he getting nowhere near the ball. Those pre-match concerns about his agility, or lack thereof, played on repeat and with some extra volume.

However, the strangest plot twist unfurled thereafter, for on the following occasions on which he was called into shot-stopping action, with activity requiring a far sharper grip on things than that goal, Forster suddenly donned a cape and revealed himself actually to be possessed of superhuman reflex-saving quality.

One shot towards the end of the first half seemed almost to be behind him, and travelling along the ground. And when I state it was travelling on the ground I do so not merely to pass the time. To move from the thinner parts of the atmosphere, which Forster’s upper parts inhabit, down to the floor, would require most of us to descend a flight or two of stairs, a procedure that would take some time to effect. By contrast, Forster somehow flung himself this great distance and direction in the absolute blink of an eye, shooting out an appendage whilst doing so, to pull off a save that any physics student would goggle at.

He was at it again, at the end of the second half, with a save that ought to have won us the game, only for the resulting corner to bring their goal. Whilst not so low down, this one was still a shot from close-range, and still of the ilk that one would expect to bypass such a large and cumbersome construction as Forster. He was equal to it though, again rattling off some of that faster-than-the-naked-eye-can-discern business, to produce one of those saves that is really worth a goal.

Numerous further tests await, of course, but for now I mark him down as competent with ball at feet, and jolly impressive in shot-stopping.

3. Ben Davies

As mentioned, there was plenty to admire about our work going forward, and frankly AANP was drooling over some of the speed and smoothness with which we motored along from nondescript midfield spots to goalscoring positions. Not for the first time, some slightly more accurate finishing would have had us comfortably ahead by the closing stages, but I suppose one can’t have it all.

Kulusevski was, at times, once again pretty majestic. It seemed sufficient for the likes of Son and Johnson simply to turn up at the appointed hour and location, because Kulusevski was pretty comfortably carving apart Roma single-handedly, at various points in the first half.

I also thought Sarr again buzzed about the place like a man possessed, patrolling high up the pitch to win possession seemingly at will, while Bentancur was similarly effective about 20 yards further south. Annoyingly, many of these positive traits rather faded from existence in the second half, as our lot stopped giving too many cares about retaining possession, and then constantly found themselves outnumbered at the back.

However, during the entirety, Ben Davies seemed to accept whatever the Fates through at him, stiffen the upper lip and crack right on. There were times, of course, that Roma poked and pried in what were not Designated Ben Davies Zones, and consequently got round the back of our defence to cause a spot of alarm. Quite a few times, in fact, this happening relentlessly in the final 20 or 30.

But when matters did more directly involve B.D., he seemed well up to it. All reassuring stuff, given the absences of the first-choice pair. Moreover, with Destiny Udogie given the night off, Ben Davies also had to juggle the day-job with a spot of babysitting, of young Gray alongside him (who fared a lot better than on his previous forays at full-back).

Davies was on hand to peddle a lot of timely interventions and blocks, and while the general structure creaked a bit it seemed to be despite, rather than because of, his efforts. There was also a useful charge upfield with ball at feet, for those who like that sort of thing, only terminated by having him uprooted right outside the opposition area.

Most eye-catching to AANP, however, was his pass from deep in the first half, which bypassed the entire Roma midfield and set Kulusevski off on the gallop that led to him hitting the post. It would have been a charming addendum to his evening’s defensive work; instead, the whole thing looks vastly less impressive due to a late goal conceded and couple of points dropped, in this whole curious Europa format.

Need a Christmas stocking-filler for the Spurs-supporter in your life? Keep your eyes peeled, for a new AANP book will soon be arriving on this site.

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Spurs match reports

Man City 0-4 Spurs: Three Tottenham Talking Points

1. Kulusevski

If you ever spot Dejan Kulusevski sloping about the place, and you notice he looks a bit down on himself – gloomy expression, dragging his feet, that sort of thing – it turns out there is one thing absolutely guaranteed to buck him right up and set him skipping gaily down the street. You simply have to tell him that his next opponent will be Man City, and watch him burst into life like a firework that’s just been lit.

Quite what it is about that mob that puts the joys of spring into him is anyone’s guess. They’re one of the last teams I’d want to spend 90 minutes chasing around a field, but there we go. Once Kuluseski clocked whom it was he was up against, he went into absolute overdrive.

There have been times this season when one has speculated that the only thing that might stop Kulusevski in full flow is if he himself decides to stop. Certainly the opposition don’t get much say in it. Yesterday was an absolute prime case in point. If Kulusevski decided to put his head down and barrel his way across half the City team, they were powerless to intervene. Essentially, they were reduced to the role of decorative ornaments, scattered about the place for him to dance around.

Take that first goal. Dragusin began things by lofting a pass in his general direction, and there was not a great deal about it to arrest the attention. Nothing particularly wrong with it, mind. It was perfectly acceptable stuff. Neither, however, did it seem to be of much consequence. City had hardly been carved open. It was essentially a waft. Kulusevski, upon gathering the thing in, one suspected, would have to put in some elbow-grease if he wanted to generate any mileage from it.

But in the blink of an eye, this season’s new, supercharged iteration of the Swede had not just generated mileage, he’d set up an opportunity for Maddison that, if not quite on a plate, was about nine-tenths of the way there. In the first place he niftily turned infield, and then gave that Gvardiol fellow a friendly shove to clear the paths.

That might not sound like much, but if you’ve ever had the honour of drinking in the full dimensions of Gvardiol from close quarters, you’ll be aware that his physique has much about it of a sturdy tree trunk. To illustrate the point, if I were to try similarly attempt to hand off Gvardiol, I’d wager that I’d quite likely sprain a wrist, and possibly also bounce off him and over the advertising hoardings.  Kulusevski however, shoved him aside, and aside he remained. And this highlights one of the principal merits of the fellow: he’s a meaty young blighter.

We then benefited from a timely dart from Pedro Porro, up the right flank. While Kulusevski deemed this offer of assistance beneath him, that Gvardiol lump was sufficiently distracted to take a step or two to track the run. Kulusevski did not stop to enquire how that detour was treating him, but instead beavered infield into the vacant space.

At this point, one might report that he swung in a cross, and such an observation would, I suppose, hold up in court. Factually correct, I mean to say. Not a syllable of untruth contained therein.

And yet, simply to say this and no more would be to understate the thing like the dickens. It would be like stating that Van Gogh painted flowers. No denying it, but by golly you’d shoot an enquiring look and wonder when the juicy detail would kick in. So it was with Kulusevski’s cross, for it was a specimen of the highest order. One ought really to cart it at the next awards ceremony and give a short speech in its honour.

To give it its due acclaim, all the key mechanical elements could be ticked off for a start. That is to say it was of the appropriate height, and weight, and so forth. Layered upon all these, though, were what you might call the standout features. The cross was flighted perfectly over the head of the patrolling central defender, for example, removing from him the option of simply standing and heading clear, or even of leaping a foot or two and heading clear. It was one of those crosses that to all intents and purposes wiped the p.c.d. briefly from existence.

And having had requisite height to do what might be termed Part One of the operation, the cross then similarly ticked off Part Two, by dipping sufficiently so as to allow Maddison to meet it with a well-timed foot. Not too high, not bouncing awkwardly, not too far in front of him; but weighted just so.

On top of which, this was one of that eye-catching class of crosses that does not simply drop to someone’s feet, but is whipped into a vacant space. Now while further applause can be directed Kulusevski’s way, this aspect also requires a partner in the operation, who is tuned into the same wavelength, and is willing to gallop into the vacant space. And this was where Maddison chimed in so sensibly.

All these elements neatly flowed together, both Maddison and Kulusevski timing thing as if they’d been rehearsing for weeks. As will be expanded upon below, Maddison deserves top marks for his role in the drama, but the genesis of the goal, and frankly the whole victory, was brought by Kulusevski.

Thereafter, the chap simply would not be silenced. It was an odd sort of game, in that we could hardly be said to have had control of things, particularly in the first half and particularly when out of possession. We largely relied upon City to mangle their opportunities, rather than preventing them from having any. However, similarly, when we were in possession, we led City a pretty merry dance, and Kulusevski was at hub of most of our incisive work.

The third goal was another example of this. It should be emphasised that the goals lend themselves as rather obvious illustrations of his evening’s work, but his contribution was not limited to these and these alone. It was not the case that he bobbed up on these two occasions and clocked off for the remainder, content to loiter in the background and shirk his duties. Kulusevski was menace to City every time he gathered the ball.

The goals do stick in the memory though. The third started with the Swede embracing in his inner Maradona, and twisting the living daylights out of every City player in his path. The naked eye could barely follow what was happening, such was the twinkle-toed nature of his burst. His little dribble was all the more pleasing for leading eventually to a goal, for when such moments of trickery lead to naught they can sometimes be lost in the mists of time. On this occasion, however, having danced his way past several flummoxed opponents, Kulusevski then played a delicate one-two with Sonny before haring off down the left.

His pass for Solanke thereafter was actually probably a little overhit, but the latter did a solid job of recycling things, before Porro applied the finishing touch.

A couple of standout moments then, in an altogether rip-roaring outing from the chap. Once he gets going, there really is no stopping him.

2. Maddison

The other outstanding performance was posted by young Maddison, which I must admit surprised me a little. It was just about a year ago that the young imp hobbled off against Chelsea on that fateful nine-men-on-halfway evening, and since then he has looked decidedly short of the old pep. Bit of a shadow of his former self. Always happy enough to muck in, to his credit, but rarely doing too much to stop the casual observer in their tracks and have them mouthing, “By golly” or something similar.

Yesterday, however, Maddison returned to form; or, more accurately, it seemed to me, discovered two new and hitherto untapped areas of form, which he claimed as his own. What I mean is that previously, and in the first few months of his Tottenham career, back in the summer of 2023, Maddison seemed to strut about the place creating opportunities for others. He’d collect the ball in advanced positions and thread, this way and that, some passes of the exceptionally cunning variety. Creator-in-chief, one might say, and well we needed him.

Quite a different beast on show yesterday though. His goals, for a start, had about them much of the Scholes, Platt or Dele. The first in particular was a triumph for the fine but oft-neglected art of surging forward from midfield, reaching the edge of the area and then carrying right on with the surging. In a system such as ours, in which poor old Solanke can quite often be found knee-deep in build-up muck, a goodish distance from goal, all manner of bribes and incentives ought to be flung at the midfield posse to elevate to the top of their To-Do List the essential role of arriving in the area for scraps.

And Maddison did that yesterday like a pro. As elaborated upon above, Kulusevski played his part in that opening goal with aplomb, but it would have resulted in a sigh, a little pirouette on the spot and some further sideways and backwards rot, if Maddison had not carpe’d the diem.

Having bust a gut to get there, Maddison also deserves credit for controlling his volley, which I think is the technical term for those moments when one avoids lashing the ball over the bar and off into the thinner part of the atmosphere.

His role in the second goal was even better. When the press exerted by various chums brought about an errant City pass, Maddison seized upon it like a hyena who’s spotted one of the slower members of the Serengeti gang loping his way. In a trice Maddison had collected the ball, nor did he dawdle in shoving it at Sonny. Importantly, having shoved, Maddison did not stop to admire his work either, but was struck with the winning notion that he might as well race off to the other side of the area.

One exquisite Son flick later, and Maddison was in on goal; but if one were to sit back in one’s seat and opine that all he had left to do was tap the thing home and welcome the acclaim, one would need a pretty sharp correction.

For a start, travelling at pace, Maddison’s first touch needed to be top-tier stuff. Too soft and the ball would be left behind; too hard and it would bounce off him and away. He therefore did an impressive job of dragging it along with him, even while on the gallop. The sequel that immediately followed was even more impressive, for who amongst us does not enjoy a dinked finish over an onrushing goalkeeper? Credit, then, by the bucketful. I did not know he had such things in his armoury.

These goals having been despatched, Maddison then devoted the rest of his evening to produce from an entirely different genre altogether. He seemed to dust away all his attacking gear, and lock it in the attic for another day. The focus of the remainder of his evening was to collect the ball from Vicario and chums, in his own defensive third.

If you’ve regularly passed by this corner of the interweb you may know that AANP is not too hot on this business of playing out from the back. And when I say ‘not too hot’, I add a thick layer of scorn, and a pretty evil eye. Dashed nuisance, if you ask me. It regularly leads to us ceding possession in dangerous areas; and even when it does work, it rarely gets us as far as the halfway line.

Anyway, we were at it again yesterday, of course, so I took a deep breath and duly braced myself. However, what unfurled was arguably our finest hour and a half of peddling this building-from-the-back gubbins. It actually worked, pretty well and on repeated occasions. And there at the heart of it all was Maddison.

His juices presumably flowing like nobody’s business after his goals, every time we had a goal kick he availed himself of possession in the most precarious positions conceivable, right on the edge of his own area, and seemingly unfazed by the close attentions of City bods lurking on his shoulder. And I’ll be dashed if each and every time he did not successfully hold onto possession. He dipped his shoulder as appropriate and swerved away from danger, protecting the ball and finding a chum. It was an approach that absolutely dripped with risk, and yet Maddison pulled it off every time.

This was remarkable in itself, but it also meant that, having bobbed and weaved past the City press, he was able to set us off on our way, over halfway and on the counter-attack.

Whether or not he can do this every week we’ll have to wait and see I suppose, but yesterday he orchestrated things from deep like it was the role for which he had been preparing since birth.

3. Our Defence

With VDV and Romero still poorly, we had to make do with Davies and Dragusin at centre-back, and I suppose the record books will now show for eternity that the pair of them kept a clean-sheet, so well done them. However, that they did so, especially in the first 10 minutes or so, seemed to defy physics.

I touched earlier upon the peculiarity of this one, in terms of our lack of control in the first half in particular. If you happened to grab the Sunday morning papers and cast an eye over the score-line, you might well have cheerily assumed that City failed to lay a glove, given it not a moment’s further thought and duly flicked over to the Sudoku puzzle, a cheery whistle on your lips.

This, while understandable enough, would have been a wild misdiagnosis of events. City most certainly did lay gloves upon us. In fact, several of their punches landed and left us staggering drunkenly about the canvas – as, it should be pointed out, ours did them. Essentially, whichever team had the ball looked like they would score within two shakes of a lamb’s tail. That City didn’t owed a lot to some off-colour finishing, as well as an exceptional display of limb-extension (and at one point, torso-existence) from young Vicario.

Credit where due, in the second half our midfield five rolled up their sleeves and formed a tight unit in front of the defence. This seemed to cheese off the City mob sufficiently, forcing them off into all sorts of scenic routes on the peripheries. They still eked out a fair number of close-range chances, mind, any one of which, if converted, would have had the nervous glances firing in all directions. However, as the game wore on, and our goal tally racked upon, the light in their eyes rather died.

Few would have predicted that, after an opening 10 or so in which they trampled all over us. And while Davies and Dragusin undoubtedly drew short straws in having to face up to Haaland, Foden et al for this one, they didn’t exactly help themselves in those opening exchanges.

Haaland missed two pretty straightforward knockings early on. The first of which emanated from Davies darting forward to win the ball high up, missing the ball, and duly finding himself out of position while City went on the charge. When the ball eventually squirted out to Haaland he had the freedom of the penalty area, but oddly decided to pause and reflect on things, in which time Davies was able to scamper back and effect a block.

Full marks for scampering back and blocking, of course, but the whole episode might have been avoided with better judgement earlier on in the piece. (A quiet chiding here, too, for Bissouma, for not having the presence of mind to step back into Davies’ vacant spot and fill in for him when he disappeared a-wandering.)

Not to be outdone, a minute or two later Dragusin pulled an identical trick, lunging for the ball and finding himself kicking at thin air as Savio tootled away. Again, no ill transpired, but the omens hardly filled one to the gills with confidence.

Thereafter, at least, the pair had the decency to keep their noses clean. It is only fair to applaud them for sticking to the task for the remainder, and without huge alarm. As mentioned, we did still rely on Vicario an awful lot, but one imagines the pair of them will feel a heck of lot better for having a clean-sheet to their name, against that lot of all lots.

And ultimately, with a tip of the cap to Herr Werner for doing what very few have ever done before, and skinning Kyle Walker, we rode off into the sunset with one of the finest score-lines of the Postecoglou era.

Of course, none of it counts, as Rodri was injured, and that simply is not fair on City; but is there anything more maddeningly Spurs-esque, than to lose at home to Ipswich, before travelling to City and hammering them? Marvellously entertaining, of course, and if we ever stumble upon some consistency we’ll be a heck of a force to be reckoned with, but for now I try not to think of whatever shock defeat is forthcoming, and simply enjoy the moment.

Need a Christmas stocking-filler for the Spurs-supporter in your life? Keep your eyes peeled, for a new AANP book will soon be arriving on this site.

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 1-2 Ipswich: Four Tottenham Talking Points

1. Neither Good Nor Dreadful

AANP is one of those peculiar coves who is happiest when things are put in their proper place. I always like to put a label on a thing, if possible. Just find it makes life a bit simpler. And armed with that inside info you may well imagine me brooding away like nobody’s business as I trudged my way up the White Hart Lane station steps yesterday, because this performance seemed neither one thing nor another.

Our finest hour it most definitely was not. No doubt on that front. A home defeat to the team bottom of the pile will automatically be classified as a clanger, no matter how much one dresses it up. Three points lost in the wind. (I’m rather astonished to note, if anyone needed a dash more salt rubbed into the wound, that victory would somehow have sent us up to third over the international break.)

However, as I pored over the performance minute by minute, I was hardly the exasperated ball of frustration that one can often be in these instances. This was not one of those afternoons the majority of which our heroes spent rather gormlessly switching play from left to right and back again, ad infinitum, pausing only to scratch their heads and shrug their shoulders. Admittedly this was not a procession of clear-cut opportunities either, but our lot did work their way into the area on a fairly regular basis.

In the first half this tended to take the form of overly intricate little one-twos, which, let’s face it, are always a bit of an ask. Solanke would eye-of-a-needle it through to Kulusevski, who duly tried to e-o-a-n it straight back to him, and all the while Ipswich legs appeared in every available space, making the whole thing play out like one of those zombie shows one sees on the tellybox, in which the undead crowd around in ever-increasing numbers until there’s nowhere left to turn and one finds oneself in quite the pickle.

Even so, with a bit more of the sniper’s eye we might have had some winnings, with Sonny setting up Johnson for a straightforward chance in the opening minutes, Sonny himself having a ping after having taken the mazy route, and then Solanke’s turn and shot drawing a save, all in that first half. Not clear-cut stuff by any means, but I was at least heartened that we were finding routes to goal by various means.

The main issue, particularly in that first half, seemed to be that the final pass was inadvertently bisecting the relevant souls in lilywhite – which, depending on your point of view was rotten luck or careless distribution – but either way, it suggested that the problem was not any particular lack of imagination.

And similarly in the second half, while there was still an imbalance in the old perspiration-inspiration ratio, I thought our lot nevertheless at least looked interested. One got the sense that if you were to wander onto the pitch and tap one of them on the shoulder, they would have waved you away with some irritation, perhaps calling out as they raced off, “Not now Rupert, or Helga, or whatever your name is, I’m trying to dig out a goal from somewhere.”

The point I’m driving at is that while I’ve certainly seem more lip-smacking fare peddled at the shiny new stadium, this at least was not one of those numbers in which everyone looked thoroughly bored and uninterested. This was not Palace away.

2. Dragusin

After his midweek heroics the AANP eye was inextricably drawn towards Radu Dragusin’s every move yesterday, a morbid fascination seizing me. And when he opened his account by losing his bearings in the opening minute, mistiming a header and then seeming to forget where he was or what he was supposed to be doing, I clenched every muscle and withheld breath.

Fortunately, however, thereafter he gave evidence that those around him had had a quiet word in the ear, because of his atrocious attempts to dribble out from defence there was not a whiff. “Just give a simple pass, Radu, and keep your head down,” was evidently the instruction hammered home to him non-stop since Thursday night. In terms of playing out from the back, he did at least avoid any seismic catastrophe.

One might even suggest that his was a performance worthy of a third-choice centre-back. He loosely adopted the correct coordinates, and did not go to ground or hack at a limb or make any other species of appalling and unnecessary defensive howler.

I’m even happy to exonerate him for the second goal, a routine that many of his detractors might have seized upon and gleefully labelled Exhibit A. As far as I can see Dragusin adopted a sensible enough position to block a square pass, and was just unfortunate that Vicario shoved the ball at him from a yard away. Not much any sizeable Romanian can do about that sort of circumstance. (If anything, I chide Romero, for having pulled his usual party-trick of abandoning his post to charge 5 yards upfield and try to win a tackle, leaving a gap behind him into which Ipswich duly trotted.)

Dragusin, however, was far from blameless throughout. For the opening goal he took a leaf out of the Romero book and went wandering off to the left flank. One dishes out a generous dollop of understanding here, as this was the little mini-passage of play into which he’d been sucked, so it made some sense for him to trust his colleagues to cover behind him while he tried to tie down an end.

However, as Ipswich then readied a cross from their right, it was Dragusin’s responsibility to block off this route, and here his efforts rather fell off a cliff. Instead of charging at the man lining up the cross, his gigantic frame extending in all directions, he merely stood where he was and half-turned his body. ‘Perfunctory’ might be the term to describe his input. A token gesture at best. Certainly not the action of a man whose life depends upon preventing a cross.

And lest he think onlookers consider this the only blot on his escutcheon, he has another think coming, because when Ipswich twice came within a whisker of taking the lead in the early stages, on both occasions one could grab the nearest spotlight and swivel it in Dragusin’s direction. The save Vicario had to make inside the first minute was prompted by a Dragusin mistake up by halfway on the left; and a few minutes later when one of their bimbos looped a header against the bar from a corner, he did so having shuffled far too easily goal-side of Dragusin.

Individual defensive ability is hardly the forte of any of our back-four, so one cannot exactly lock him in a cell and throw away the key; but equally he has done little so far to suggest that in him we have stumbled upon a rock-steady reserve.

3. Porro

A curious little blighter young Porro, if ever I saw one. I banged a drum on these pages a few weeks back (after the Brighton match, if memory serves) about how our defenders seem to be more concerned with – and adept at – attacking, rather than defending. Yesterday, Porro set about his business as if determined to take every going opportunity to reinforce that particular point.

Of his attacking prowess the examples were plentiful and strong. Most notably, he won the corner from which we scored, with a little burst that was a decent cocktail of enterprise and skill. He received the ball from a throw, which admittedly was not much to write home about, but then nutmegged his man, accelerated away from him to emphasise the point and then sent in the sort of cross for which any half-decent striker yearns, all pace and curl.

This raid was duly headed behind for a corner, but Porro then continued his good work by delivering this into a cracking spot, on the corner of the six-yard box at the near post, and with enough pace and height for Bentancur simply to have to angle his neck in order to score.

Porro was similarly sprightly in other offensive raids, either in swinging in crosses, playing through-balls or on one occasion volleying with pinpoint accuracy from right to left, to switch play with an almighty diagonal. Nothing but fat ticks against his name in an attacking sense, then.

However, inevitably, at the back Porro gave every impression of being the young cad who skipped class on Defence Lesson Day. Every time Ipswich sought to sally forward they were well-advised to target our right, because if anyone were in the market for crosses you could bet a tidy sum that Porro would do little to prevent them. For Porro, it seemed sufficient to run alongside his opposing winger, and if a little additional window dressing were required, he might even be persuaded to extend an unthreatening leg. That, however, was clearly his limit. Run alongside and stick out a purely symbolic leg, and thereafter he could clock off, and assume the role of spectator with the best seat in the house.

Neither has it escaped AANP’s attention quite how many goals we concede from blighters left to their own devices in what one might term the Porro area of the six-yard box, when a cross comes in from the other side. Yesterday was a case in point, other examples this season abound.

Johnson can be hauled in at this juncture for a bit of a lashing, he failing to prevent Ipswich’s opener with a timid reluctance to engage that was the most quintessentially Spurs-like challenge imaginable; but Porro rarely seems to offer much value in those scenarios. Not for the first time yesterday, one sunk one’s head into one’s hands and yearned for defenders who can actually defend.

4. Werner

In closing, a brief word on Herr Werner, for a cameo of which I had not thought him capable. His performances, and specifically his one-on-one misses, so far this season, have rather forcefully created the impression that here is a left-winger not quite fit for purpose. Hear the name Timo Werner, and the Pavlovian reaction has been to groan.

I’m full of willing for the chap to succeed of course, and dutifully gave him the polite hand when he wobbled on with 20 or so left yesterday, but to say the heart leapt at the sight of him would be embellishing things somewhat.

Werner, however, seemed to approach matters yesterday like a man if not quite transformed then certainly pretty invigorated. It helped, I suppose, that he was not presented with a straightforward chance and an age in which to convert it. Instead, his afternoon primarily consisted of wing play on the left, and in this respect he was pretty impressive just about every time he received the ball. I was mightily bucked by the whole thing.

Specifically, he seemed capable of beating his man for pace every time the urge gripped him; and these successes were typically followed up by a selection of pretty impressive crosses into the six-yard sort of vicinity. Pedro Porro no doubt looked on admiringly.

Moreover, Werner even had the gumption to cut infield and unleash a solid shot or two. These in particular had me rubbing the eyes, but I suppose it just goes to show what one neat and tidy goal against Man City will do to a man. Just a shame that he leant back and skied his big opportunity near the end, after linking up with Sonny on the left, but, perhaps because the bar of expectation was so low, his seemed a surprisingly positive contribution.

Of course, a few good crosses from Timo Werner does little to soften the broader blow. Not for the first time this season our heroes have followed a mightily impressive win with a pretty exasperating loss, the sum of which is a fair old amount of head-scratching, punctuated by some wistful looks at the league table.

AANP is a big fan of the notion that goal difference is a handy indicator of how a team plays, and by that metric our attacking, in general, is pretty hot stuff once we’re up and running. The simplicity with which we ship in goals at the other end, however, will have a frown etched over the dial for the coming weeks, make no mistake.