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Spurs – Manchester United Preview: The Missing Scalp

Our heroes have made a pleasing habit of dispelling various hoodoos in recent months, and the latest to present itself is a ten-year drought against the eleven men of Manchester United and their various assistants in black. Over the last year or so we have torn apart some of the cream of Europe, with United’s the only scalp now missing, and while unbeaten our visitors have looked far from invincible to date this season.Traditionally we tend to use this opportunity to watch Giggs or Scholes run rings around us, but in terms of personnel we can fancy our chances of winning the midfield battle today, for VDV was born for precisely this sort of grand occasion, and Modders is in the form of his life. Moreover, aside from the glamour brought by these chaps, our cause has been bolstered no end by the return of Daws to defence in recent weeks. Was the ever a better set of reasons to rub one’s hands in gleeful anticipation?

‘Arry has been in bullish mood in the press conferences this week, but today’s teamsheet ought to give a clue as to quite how cavalier he intends to be this afternoon. Having stopped and started throughout the season so far Defoe is now back in contention, while Crouch for all his faults has turned into a regular manna-provider for VDV, so our glorious leader must decide between one or t’other. He might even, in the name of the most dreamy form of attacking kamikaze, pick both these two in attack, with VDV shoved into a midfield role somewhere, but one suspects that our approach will be a more conservative 4-4-1-1. The choice of central midfield partner for Modders will also give a hint of ‘Arry’s intentions, Sergeant Wilson representing the more cautious option, Jenas the more adventurous. L

Lose – or even draw – today and the semi-serious title chuntering will have to stop, but our heroes now tend to rise to these big occasions at the Lane.

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Spurs – Charlton Preview: Squad Player Bingo at the Lane

And now for something completely different. At third (and, later fourth) round stage the FA Cup hardly constitutes fixture congestion, so the question of where it stands in our list of priorities can probably be deferred to another day.Bingo cards out then, as we look to cross off the names of various squad members last season posing merrily in the club photocall back in August. Participation from Bentley seems unlikely, as a loan to Birmingham looms, while the current status of Robbie Keane is best summed up by a big fat question mark, but Cudicini, Corluka, Bassong, Sandro, Kranjcar and Pav are amongst the candidates for promotion. Crikey – as reserves go that particular mob are a jolly competent bunch, representing probably the strongest substitutes’ bench in the country. In theory then making half a dozen changes ought not to be catastrophically detrimental to our quality, but be warned all ye purveyors of complacency, for the memory still lingers a little painfully of our much-changed line-up putting in a blisteringly ordinary display at home to l’Arse in the Carling Cup a few months back.

Modders, VDV, Bale (and Hudd) – Can We Manage Without The Lot of Them?

A strong case could be made for excusing from duty Messrs Modders, VDV and Bale this weekend. Admittedly they all had a break before Christmas, when they picked up their wages for hurling snowballs rather than chasing footballs. Nevertheless, this is shaping up to be a long old season, and as well four games in the last couple of weeks, Bale has played just about every League and European match this season. The whippersnapper does appear darned well indefatigable, but it would be a slightly pointless experiment to grind game after game out of him, just in order to see how long it would be before he breaks down completely and turns to dust. Moreover, his back problem in midweek suggests a further reason to give him a breather.

VDV is a fragile little lamb, bless, who rarely completes 90 minutes at the best of times, Modders is another from whom we like to wring every last drop of energy during the League and European campaigns. Conclusion? Drop the lot of them.

However, while the medical arguments probably point towards resting these leading lights, I do fret that a midfield shorn of VDV and Modders, as well as Hudd, would be a few cans short of a six-pack when it comes to bossing, creating and generally playing that slick brand of attacking football to which we have become so accustomed over the last couple of seasons. Jenas and Sergeant Wilson between them do a decent job of slotting in alongside the regulars, but the prospect of these two and Sandro taking charge of affairs hardly leaves my gasping fro breath in excitement.

The Niko Kranjcar Fan Club

This could also be a big day for Niko Kranjcar, who effortlessly earned himself status as a firm favourite at AANP Towers last season, but who has been limited to a couple of completely impotent substitute appearances this season. Noises have been made at various points about him pootling off to pastures new, but his career in lilywhite is not necessarily irretrievable, for the efforts of Bale and Hutton over the last 12 months have illustrated that it is quite possible for a couple of strong cameos to earn a player a regular berth at Spurs, such are the vagaries of circumstance and fickleness of our glorious leader.

All things considered, our mob, reserves and all, ought to be strong enough for any time featuring an aged Gary Doherty. After the disappointment of midweek let’s just have a nice, serene injury/suspension-free cruise into the fourth round.

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Everton – Spurs Preview: Time For Squad Rotation?

Around ten days ago I mused that I would have settled for eight points from our four Christmas-New Year games. Three games in and we already have nine, which means that the riotously good fun continues into 2011 – still not yet out of the title race, most definitely still in the Top Four race and looking down upon the rotters from Stamford Bridge, languishing beneath us. Glorious fun.Squad Rotation: Not Welcome At The Lane 

I do furrow my brow in contemplation of another possible side-effect, namely that playing the same blighters on a twice-weekly basis will imminently lead to the pinging of a hamstring, or some similarly vital body-part, of someone dashed important. I cannot remember the last time Bale was omitted, while Modders is another who seems to get 90 minutes every time. Admittedly it is not exactly a medical opinion, but I suspect that the practice of non-rotation might have been a contributory factor in Hutton’s injury last weekend, while there was a mild air of sluggishness about everyone in lilywhite during the Fulham win on Saturday.

However the rather compelling counter-argument to all this is that if the likes of Bale and Modric are fit we might as well reap the benefits. When key personnel do get injured/suspended (eg VDV, Hudd, Defoe, the massed ranks of centre-backs) the other chaps simply roll up their sleeves and cope, and moreover, there might be a mini-riot in the Park Lane if Bale were left out one week. ‘Arry seems to have stumbled upon the occasional right call during his time at the helm, so perhaps it would be best if I piped down at this point and left him to get on with things.

Team News 

Flabbergastingly enough we have a jolly good chance to record a third consecutive clean-sheet. While one must never discount the possibility that Gomes will briefly and without any warning completely lose the plot and go rugby-tackling the nearest opponent in the penalty area, the return of the marvellous Daws has stiffened up things no end at the back. On top of this Everton’s strikers are currently being investigated under the Trade Descriptions Act, and my Fantasy League dealings have alerted me to the fact that their principal goalscoring threat, Tim Cahill, is so embarrassed about his countrymen’s surrender of the Ashes that he has scarpered the country under the spurious claim of playing in something called the Asian Cup.

Everton away is traditionally a tricky one, but they appear to be having a rough time of things this season so presumably we will adopt our usual cagey away mentality and go all guns blazing for another three points.

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Spurs – Fulham Preview: Form Temporary, Class Permanent

Another day, another game, and really this should be another three points. There is no such thing as an easy game in the Premiership apparently, but if there were Fulham at home would probably be it. While they have just won away, they did so at around the five hundredth time of asking, and on the back of two successive ten-man wins and a two-month unbeaten run our lot are in cracking form at the moment. 

Form is temporary and class permanent, according to the adage, and applying these principles it is fairly uncontroversial to place Messrs Bale, VDV and Modric in the “Class: Permanent” category.By contrast, “Temporarily Corking Form” would be a vastly more appropriate epithet to bestow upon some of the less celebrated, supporting cast members. BAE, for example, may still retain the unique capacity for producing near-catastrophic levels of casualness, but in recent weeks his left-backing performances have been near-impeccable, and delivered with more than a hint of swagger.

Others who seem to have raised their game recently include Sergeant Wilson and JJ, who between them have been manfully attempting to fill the sizeable void left in central midfield by the Hudd. Admittedly I would still rather gnaw off my own arm than add my signature to the petition that anyone in lilywhite passes to Palacios, but he seems to have rediscovered his appetite and general snap, while Jenas  appears comfortable enough when slotting into a midfield of various ball-playing magicians.

And so on. The sum of these various parts is a Tottenham team that at the very least is in cracking form, and, more optimistically, is now pointedly making a case for the permanent formation of a new Top Five and recognition as one of the big guns of the Premiership. Time shall tell – and should the coming year be as successful as the last we ought to have a few more things to cheer – but in order to meet this latter aim, Fulham at home must equate to three more points.

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Spurs – Newcastle Preview: Scouting Andy Carroll

Reasonably enough our title chances are being written off by just about every man and his dog, but the great and the good of the football world will, with weary shakes of their heads, have to take us into account.Win today and we overtake Chelski, which would be fairly meaningless at this stage of the season but still jolly good fun, and quite the incentive. Indeed, four wins from our four festive fixtures remains possible, with Fulham at home and Everton away to follow the barcodes this afternoon. The uncomfortable truth is that as long as we keep winning the more commonly-accepted title-chasers will be unable to shake us off. Should we emerge from this little glut of games still within shouting distance of the title favourites, a couple of well-judged January signings could set us up for another corking year ending in 1.

On the subject of January signings we all get a chance to compile our own personal scouting reports on Newcastle’s long-haired hoodlum of a centre-forward, Andy Carroll. The AANP verdict is “Sign him up pronto”, because while he might not necessarily be as effective an emergency substitute centre-back as Peter Crouch, he appears to be approximately a thousand times better than the gangly one when  it comes to the more routine trades of leading the line, bullying defenders, heading with power (and direction, dagnabbitt) and scoring. Moreover, he has the muscle and aggression to suit the VDV-inspired 4-4-1-1 quite neatly. Our heroes have traditionally struggled against great big muscular centre-forwards – Messrs Heskey, Martins, Drogba and even Daniel Amokachi way back in the day, I’m thinking of you – so I expect Daws to have his hands full today, and given that we always concede I might put today’s tenner on Carroll. For their consolation goal, you understand.

With both Modders and VDV in midfield we rang glorious little rings around Villa, but two games in three days might be a bit much for the Dutch master and his brittle hamstrings. ‘Arry may therefore toy with the idea of resting him today, by switching to 4-4-2, or bringing Jenas into the midfield. Defoe now misses three games, so Crouch and/or Pav will be called into action in attack, but whatever the personnel and formation, the game-plan is hardly shrouded in mystery – attack, attack and attack some more. We played for long periods at Villa Park on Boxing Day as if we were the home team, even when down to ten men, so I rather look forward to more pretty triangles  all over the lush Lane turf today. It would be nice at some point to nudge the goal difference up and over double-digit level, but given the attacking threat posed by this mob today I would settle for three points by whatever means.

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Aston Villa – Spurs Preview: Look Who’s Back

What-ho ho ho! All I wanted for Christmas was the return to a full fitness of a top-notch midfielder – and lo, the good Santa provideth. VDV is back, the baby Jesus be praised, and the rather enticing prospect now looms of him lining up behind Defoe. Topping stuff I’m sure you will agree, unless you are a Villa fan stumbling confusedly across this little corner of interweb (in which case – seasons greetings!).In fact, from the ashes of the injury-decimated first half of the season there now rises a phoenix that probably is only one Huddlestone and a Ledley short of being our first choice XI. Marvellous stuff.

As it happens,

the impromptu Christmas break has allowed quite a few wounds to heal, meaning that, Kaboul, Jenas and Kranjcar are also now straining at the leash ahead of kick-off today. The return of VDV is by far the glitziest, most sparkly news, but in a more understated sort of way we at AANP Towers have poured a cheeky whisky and toasted the news of Kaboul’s return. We are certainly reaping the benefits of ‘Arry’s masterstroke of employing seven central defenders, as yet again we go into a game with two of them fully fit. 

The wonders of the fixture-list mean that there are about a million points up for grabs in the next few days and Villa, Newcastle, Fulham and Everton in theory represent four winnable games.  The good men and women of the dedicated Tottenham Hotspur A&E Ward should probably also brace themselvs, for while four games in a week present all sorts of wondrous points possibilities, they do threaten to decimate the entire squad and leave the Spurs Lodge a blood-soaked mess of limbs come early-January.Pushing into 2011 unscathed on the injury front, and with seven or eight points in the bag would represent a success. The fun and frolics begin this evening, and on both sides’ current form a trip to Villa Park represents a chance for us to target three points rather than one.

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Spurs – Chelsea Preview: No Fate But What We Make…

“The future, always so clear to me, had become like a black highway at night. We were in uncharted territory now, making up history as we went along. The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it for the first time with a sense of hope, because if a machine, a Terminator, can learn the value of human life, maybe we can, too.”
– Sarah Connor, Terminator 2

 

Rather ironic sentiments from Ms Connor, I’m sure you’ll agree, given that the following two Terminator films were pretty darned awful, and her own character was promptly killed off, but one understands the point, and such buoyant optimism is shared at AANP Towers ahead of kick-off this afternoon.For the first time we go into a Chelski game with the bookies finding it difficult to choose between us (Spurs 7-4, Chelski 6-4). The bookmakers rarely get it wrong, and all things considered this is probably as good as time as there has been in the last ten years or so to play this lot. Drogba is still shaking off the ill-effects of swine-flu or some such pestilential malady, and Chelski have only scored three in their last six games, or something similar. Admittedly we ought not to become too over-excited by this, as the Chelsea Pensioners could probably stick a couple past us in 90 minutes, given our current form, but up the other end their defence has been by no means watertight, even with the dastardly John Terry restored. Our trusty game-plan, of not worrying too much about defence, and simply outscoring whoever trots out in front of us, ought to serve us well today.

The midfield will presumably be where this game is won and lost, and with VDV and Hudd still unavailable much depends on Modders. The clean-shaven Jesus has been in coruscating form, albeit a tad underrated, given the glamorous types hogging the headlines all around him, but with Lampard sitting this one out, the stage is set for Modric to assume control.

There may also be a timely return to action for Dawson, which would help stiffen things up at the back, but such is the way of things at the moment that even pre kick-off I now accept that we will concede at least one. However, with Modders back, Defoe sharp and Bale simply present on the pitch, we will, as ever have goals in us. The last 12 months have been a whole succession of marks of our progress; this afternoon should herald yet another.

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Twente – Spurs Preview: The Case For Resting Gareth Bale

No doubt there abound all manner of permutations depending on the various scorelines tonight, but there is a pleasing simplicity about the fact that victory tonight will guarantee us top-spot in the group. This would be a handy time to do away with the latest statistical quirk being waved in our direction by that dastardly band of would-be detractors: apparently our heroes are yet to win outside Londinium this season. Last time I checked the Netherlands was located outside the M25, so victory here would be welcome.Team News: Changes Afoot

Whispers in one corner of the interweb have it that Michael Dawson may be shunted back into action this evening, which would probably leave Sebastian Bassong a trifle miffed, but would otherwise be greeted with fairly universal thigh-slapping. Robbie Keane is also in the squad, while Jermaine Jenas is fit again, and not a moment too soon.

‘Arry has suggested that he might make a couple of changes in this one, in the interests of protecting the little lambs ahead of the festive schedule, on which note my thoughts turn to the boy Bale. Might this be the time to let him catch his breath? Aside from the Carling Cup shocker against l’Arse I am not too sure he has missed a single game yet, and with qualification in the bag – not to mention Niko Kranjcar grumpily twiddling his thumbs on the sidelines – this might be the night to truss him up in cotton wool and keep him out of harm’s way.

The absence of Bale would obviously detract from our attacking potency somewhat, but in terms of our shape and ability to dominate proceedings I am more concerned by the news that Modders has a bout of man-flu. Bale is an undoubted match-winner par excellence, but out on the left he injects the occasional uncontrollable, game-changing burst, rather than pulling the strings from first minute to last. The job of keeping operations ticking over is assigned to Modders, and his importance has been heightened by the absences of Hudd and VDV. A Modric-less midfield would probably comprise Jenas and Sergeant Wilson, and although these two could probably carry out the basics for 90 minutes, one suspects that their combined offering would not be drenched in the obscenely high levels of technical mastery to which we have become accustomed in central midfield this season.

Conundrum

It is a little difficult to know how to approach tonight’s festivities. Victory would mean we neatly sidestep Real, Barca, Bayern et al for one further round at least, so there is some incentive; and it seems fairly safe to assume that, as ever, our heroes will set out in their usual naïve, gung-ho fashion, for it is fairly universally acknowledged they would not know how to play a restrained, slow-tempo containing game if it smacked them in the face with a wet fish.

Nevertheless, Chelski come traipsing up the High Road this weekend, a match in which victory really is vital – so should our heroes end up ambling around tonight with all the apathy of an Australian seam bowler being relentlessly pummelled into the ground, hour after soul-destroying hour, one would appreciate why. It would not be an approach with which I concur, but the rationale would be understandable. Wholesale changes are unlikely – primarily because we barely have the personnel even to fill the substitutes’ bench – but should both Bale and Modders be omitted we will know where our glorious leader’s priorities lie. I suppose a best-case scenario would see these two omitted and the eleven selected still delivering victory, but, alas, one way or t’other I can see us surrendering top-spot in the course of the evening.

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Birmingham – Spurs Preview: Maybe This Time We’ll Go Defensive?

It is the best of times; it is the worst of times. Victory upon victory upon victory is undoubtedly corking stuff; but our heroes seem incapable of tying their shoelaces without someone pulling up injured. Never mind the football – I don’t think anyone doubts that there will be goals a-plenty and we will ultimately come from behind to win. The real poser ahead of today’s game is which one of our mob will be injured next. (My money is on Modders, on the grounds that he snapped something or other against this lot last season.)Merrily however, it seems that there is actually also good news emanating from the treatment room, as the great big loveable Michael Dawson is back in the squad. Huzzah! And not a moment too soon, with Kaboul exiting stage right last week. Not sure if Daws will be ready for a full 90 minutes, so we could be due the glorious sight of Corluka trundling around the centre of defence for the first hour or so. Presumably then the game-plan will once again have to be to outscore the other lot, rather than “keep it tight at the back”…

Slow-Paced Defensive Game of Containment 

I rather sneer at the man who places a wager on our heroes to keep a clean sheet these days.

The Bremen game was very much the exception, because in general our lot cannot help but cram all sorts of attacking mayhem into their bi-weekly 90 minute act. Pause a moment just to imagine the looks of sheer incredulity amongst the faces of our heroes, if ‘Arry gathered them in the changing-room and told them to play a slow-paced, defensive game of containment. The horrified silence would presumably only be punctuated by a resounding thump, as Gareth Bale fainted, and the sobbing of Luka Modric, gently rocking in the corner. Opposition fans might not necessarily like our lot, but we are pretty well ensconced as the neutral’s favourites at the moment, for the glorious entertainment value.With no VDV today I presume we will have to adopt a more attacking 4-4-2 today. It might leave us a little over-exposed away from home in the Champions League, but away to Birmingham it ought to make for an hour and a half of fun. If my Fantasy League team has taught me anything this season it is that the Birmingham defence do like a clean sheet or two, which ought to throw down the gauntlet to Gareth Bale and chums.

Everywhere one looks at the moment the top teams are dropping points, and while Birmingham away is hardly straightforward, we do have a jolly good opportunity for a fourth consecutive league win, ahead of Chelski next week. Ordinarily I would settle for a draw in this sort of fixture, but on current form I expect nothing less than another late, late winner from our heroes.

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Spurs – Liverpool Preview (II): The Bubble Will Burst… But Not This Weekend

Having dried his tears and collected the assorted toys from outside his pram, a l’Arse-supporting chum earlier this week sent a message my way, the gist of which was that he was scratching his head in bewilderment trying for the life of him to remember the last time Spurs had enjoyed a week of quite so much good news. The man has a point. The derby win was followed by Champions League knock-out qualification, which was followed by an approving nod for a new Tottenham-based stadium, which has been followed by news that Michael Dawson is back in training, and even the rumour that Ledley is gingerly lifting himself from his wheelchair, sellotape and blu-tac duly applied to his balsawood limbs.There is talk in some quarters that our heroes really have turned the corner, and that those mentioning Spurs as potential Premiership or Champions League winners ought not necessarily to be thrown into a dusty spot of land and given a damn good thrashing for crimes against reason and common sense. A cautionary note echoes around the walls of AANP Towers for sure, as there remains a strong chance that we will finish the season not only empty-handed but also trapped in the arid and unforgiving wasteland that is the Europa League. As such, the policy around these parts is not to speculate too wildly about how the world might look come May 2011, but simply to wring every last drop of enjoyment from the present moment.

The abacus has been dusted down, and all manner of rigorous arithmetic drills undertaken, the upshot of which is that AANP can confirm that in all competitions it is now three wins and counting for our lot – and in a spirit of bonny, blithe and gay optimism I am rather inclined to think we will have our fourth come Sunday evening. The danger after a good Champions League win is that the next pre-match huddle actually consists of the players patting one another on the backs for a midweek job well done, rather than spitting, snarling and straining at the leash in preparation for the forthcoming 90 minutes. No such danger this Sunday I would hazard. The time for complacency was probably Wednesday night, with the memory of the Emirates still fresh, but Liverpool at home represents a bigger kettle of fish, the importance of which is unlikely to be underestimated.

Team News

VDV may again miss out, and the list of other absentees remains longer than a gangly limb of Peter Crouch, but there is positive news in both the return to fitness of young Master Defoe, and the sparkling efforts of Aaron Lennon on Wednesday night. If both he and Bale could hit top form simultaneously cracks would probably appear in the High Road N17 as Mother Earth struggles to cope with the thrill of it all. The bubble will burst eventually, but I have faith in our heroes to maintain the winning habit for at least one further week.