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Spurs match reports

Inter 4-3 Spurs: So Who Was Your Man Of The Match?

Just another standard Tottenham game then. There ought to be some sort of internet tool or iPhone app that takes regular football phenomena and instantly turns them into the all-action-no-plot, Tottenham Hotspur equivalent. Take a  dour goalless draw in Italy (à la Liverpool against Napoli last night), give it the Tottenham treatment and hey presto – you have yourself a mental 4-3 defeat.

Déjà vu

To go three goals down in the blink of an eye on one occasion may be considered unfortunate, but twice is just plain careless. Having failed to learn the lesson of Young Boys, we dug an even bigger hole for ourselves against the Considerably Older, Wiser and More Technically Adept Boys of Inter.

Maybe our heroes just like a challenge. Over-awed and over-respectful, the poor lambs seemed unsure whether they needed permission to approach the European champions, who understandably enough between them made the executive decision to tear us to pieces.

Even by our madcap standards, four-nil and a man down at half-time, to the European champions, was a bit excessive. The barrage of text message abuse from gleeful chums was to be expected, but when Ray Winstone popped up in his gambling advert at half-time to bark that the latest odds were appearing on my screen, the sight of a 7-0 Inter win at 12/1 really did have me fearing the worst. I’m not sure I have ever felt so aghast and helpless as when watching that first half carnage unfold.

A degree of credit then to our lot, for bucking themselves up a tad in the second half. Although Inter undoubtedly took their foot off the gas, we nevertheless showed attacking intent in the second half, committing men forward rather than looking solely for damage limitation options. The goals were admittedly were the product of individual genius rather than any orchestrated team effort, but the second half attitude was nevertheless vaguely comforting, particularly with just the ten men (and bereft of our entire spine too – Gomes, Ledley, Daws, Modders, VDV and Defoe all absent for one reason or another for most of the game).

Man of the Match Contenders

Lennon looked lively. Cudicini made a couple of decent saves.

(I jest).

Gareth Bale

Living tissue over metal endoskeleton. Having quite possibly warmed up by destroying an entire police force on his own, he then carried out the most single-handed dismantling of a team I have ever witnessed. Only a cybernetic organism would race the length of the pitch, against the European champions, hit the bottom corner, spin round, show no emotion and sprint back to halfway – then do exactly the same thing again. I’m just glad he’s been sent here to protect us, rather than kill us.

If we need any further incentive to make the top four again it’s Bale. The secret is well and truly out now – the entire blinking continent knows about him. Iif he does not play Champions League football regularly he won’t hang around in our lovely little corner of North London. I expect that at 21 (sickening, isn’t it?), a seeming good egg and having just signed a new contract, he will stay next season, just to see how we toddle along. However, failure to push on from our current position and he’ll be out the N17 exits faster than you can say “By jove he’s just decimated the European Cup-holders single-handedly – again”.

Elsewhere On The Pitch

Neither Bassong nor Gallas looked quite up to the challenge – but then pairing these two against Inter Milan at the San Siro was not really the plan. At the start of the season we wouild have pencilled Ledley and Dawson for nights like this, with Gallas and Bassong to help out as required against Blackpool and the like. Much though we love audacious attacking talent here at AANP Towers, we have to admit that the need for a top-notch defensive type is becoming increasingly pressing. As is the need for a 4-5-1 forward. ‘Twas not Crouch’s finest hour.

Jenas is an odd little fish. At fault in the very first minute for stopping to examine his nails while Zanetti went charging into the area unmarked to score, I howled with anguish when he remained on pitch and Modders was withdrawn, after the red card. Thereafter however, the Lord of All Things Sideways and Backwards showed the type of attacking intent we have been screaming at him to produce for nigh-on ten seasons. He did not by any means boss the game, but more often than not (at least in the second half) he looked to push forward and create something. It is the sort of thing he only ever normally does against l’Arse. And now he’s done it against Inter Milan too. Perplexing.

Not for the first time BAE deserved a slap on the wrist. While it is hardly appropriate to single out any particular individual for the first half debacle, his snoozing effectively cost us a red card and a goal, and that carelessness occurs far too often for my liking sonny.

On the bright side however, the second half performance far exceeded anything for which we might have hoped. Indeed, the draw between Bremen and Twente leaves us mightily well-placed, which I don’t think was a conclusion anyone was nearing at half-time. Defeat at the San Siro was to be expected (albeit not in quite such mind-boggling fashion); but with 10 points the target and three games left, two of which are at the Lane, progression looks eminently attainable.

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Spurs match reports

Fulham 1-2 Spurs: Well-Deserved Despite The Controversy

That’s more like it. Six points from two tricky fixtures and we now sit level on points with l’Arse and Man Utd. Admittely ours has been a fairly gentle fixture-list to date, but given our struggles to juggle Premiership and Champions League I’m quite grateful for what he have.

 

This Week’s VDV Magic

 

Having bossed games in recent weeks this was a relatively mundane showing from Van der Vaart, but when you hail from Amazingville then even your mundane showings are sprinkled with magnificence, and so it was that VDV’s quiet day still brought about the game’s best piece of skill and a game-changing moment. One-on-one with the ‘keeper from 12 yards out, most mere mortals would have closed their eyes and thumped the thing towards the corner. VDV, naturally, instead took the option marked “Genius” with a chip so impertinent it ought not to have been legal. Pav was a touch shameless in celebrating the goal that was all of VDV’s making, but credit to the Russian for being on his toes while the Fulham defenders were standing around picking their noses.

 

William Gallas – Not Bad For A Human

 

The Spurs-supporting chums with whom I watched the game spent much of the game earnestly peddling the theory that William Gallas has been sent here to destroy us, possibly by Arsene Wenger. Pointing to the fact that Gallas previously threatened to score an own-goal if Chelksi did not sell him, they now reckon that this if this mercenary with evil eyes ever does score for us he’ll rip off his Tottenham shirt to reveal an Arsenal one underneath. Grist to their mill was provided by Gallas’ decidedly average defending for the Fulham goal – diligently deciding to park himself in the middle of no-man’s land, leaving Kamara with an open goal from about six inches out. He then did his best to sabotage our winning goal too, but despite his best efforts the officials decided it would be more fun to allow it.He is actually doing a fine and dandy job for us, but my attitude towards him remains akin to that of Ripley towards Bishop in Aliens. Only when Gallas is ripped in half and then saves my life with his mangled torso will I be won round and my suspicion dissipate.

 

 

Alas, Poor Ledley

 

The price to pay for this week’s three points was the latest Ledley breakdown. It is tempting to chastise ‘Arry for selecting Ledley (personally I would have kept him aside for the Inter game) but it is hardly the fault of our glorious leader. Our captain’s groin is likely to twang every time he takes to the pitch, given that the poor blighter never trains. If it had not happened yesterday it might have happened in the opening minutes of Wednesday night instead.

 

Elsewhere On The Pitch

 

It is easy to forget that in the opening exchanges we almost scored one of the best goals ever. The move in question saw Hudd cheekily dink the ball into Bale, who first-time volleyed into the path of Pav, who took it on his chest and fired wide. Six inches from being a thing of majesty, it was instead a mere goal-kick. Shame that.

 

 

There were a couple of photogenic saves from Gomes; a couple of curiously inept touches from Modders; and a lively debut from Sandro. BAE’s hair looks stranger by the week, while it was lovely to see Aaron Lennon rediscovering his joie de vivre, suggesting that he may have an important role to play against Inter this week, even be it only as impact sub.For all the controversy of the winning goal, on balance of play we merited this win, 2-1 a result that reflected the balance of play. Problems remain – not least 4-5-1 without a striker who fits the system – but this was a fine afternoon’s work from our heroes.

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Spurs match reports

(Back Catalogue) Spurs 2-1 Villa: Is VDV The New Berba or Asprilla?

Due to the horrors of the real world (new flat! new flat!), a near-lethal bout of man-flu and, most pertinently, a mightily ropey wi-fi connection, many of the AANP ramblings of recent weeks have been trapped, like the three evil types inside the glass prison in Superman 2, on a usb stick, unable to make it to the interweb. However, to ease the pain of the international break, this back-catalogue of previews and match reports will now finally see the light of day – which means that you lucky things will be able to relive all the hundred-miles-an-hour excitement of the past three weeks or so! Huzzah!

 

3/10/2010: While all and sundry are blurting out every superlative going, do forgive me if I go for something verging on the sacrilegious, but Van der Vaart actually reminds me of Dimitar Berbatov. Not for his sulky, dastardly personality you realise, nor physical appearance nor playing position; but in terms of being an addition to the ranks who is so clearly head and shoulders above his peers. Not since the days of Berba have we had a player whose technique is simply a class above, a player who does the outrageously difficult and makes it seem like second-nature. The sort of things you or I occasionally tried (and failed) in the park with our mates, when no-one was watching. VDV, like Berba before him, instinctively does those things in the middle of a high-octance, competitive game, and makes them look easy. As with the goal midweek against Twente, there was plenty of room for error with his second this afternoon – awkward height, awkward angle; but not a problem for a blinking football genius.

 

Another Bizarre VDV Comparison

 

Recall ye that season when Kevin Keegan went mad in a live TV interview? I may be mistaken, but I think that was the season Newcastle went about a thousand points clear at the top of the table by Christmas, but then rather embarrassingly frittered away their lead and ended up being pipped to the title by Man Utd, the poor loves. The reason? Well there were plenty I suppose, but one notable factor was the addition to the squad of Faustino Asprilla at Christmas. Personally I adored the chap, thought he was awesome, and one of the much worthier foreign additions to the Premiership in an era of Lars Bohinen and Anders Limpar, but adding him to an already mightily attacking mix rather skewed Newcastle’s tactics, and games they used to win they ended up blowing.

 

Fast-forward to N17 in 2010, and VDV is now adorned in lilywhite, and almost certainly better than any of his chums in the dressing-room. The problem is how the deuces to accommodate him. 4-4-2 worked fantastically for us last season. The central midfield of Modders and Hudd outplayed l’Arse, Chelski and Man City. The 4-4-2 worked, home and away. However, accommodate VDV we must, for the awesomeness seepeth from his every pore, and his natural abode appears to be a free role behind the centre forward/s.

 

But a 4-5-1-playing beast we are not, and there’s the rub. As well as lacking a genuine forward to play this role, there is also the problem of how to accommodate Defoe when he returns (and I personally am saddened that all this nudges Kranjcar towards the exit door, but c’est la vie). Bale, Modders and VDV into a 4-4-2 will not really go, unless the handsome young Welshman is shunted to left-back, which is rather a waste. VDV is no right winger, but we can’t play him and Modders as a central pairing in a 4-4-2, and… Well you get the point. Not that I’m about to solve it. That’s ‘Arry’s job, and in fairness it’s a dilemma about which he has being banging on fairly regularly.

 

Elsewhere on the Pitch

 

Back to the game. Still not a fan of lobbing high balls up to Crouch, but in the last two games his lay-offs and knock-downs have brought about goals and penalties and all sorts, so I simply have to grumble in silence on that point. Nice to see Aaron Lennon looking more like his former self; Alan Hutton continues to look the polar opposite of Corluka at right-back; Hudd grew into his role as ad hoc centre-back, but in an ideal world would still be below Ledley/Dawson/Gallas/Kaboul/Woodgate in the pecking order.

 

Emile Heskey: Scourge of Lightweight Spurs Centre-Backs

 

For all the talk of Van der Vaart the turning-point in this one was arguably the disappearance of Heskey, injured, in the first half. The ease with he muscled past Bassong evoked a Hollywood-style montage in my head of all those instances over the years on which a Spurs centre-back has been sent flying by a big brusing striker. In fact Heskey himself started it about ten years ago, in his Leicester days, when he powered past Stuart Nethercott or someone and thumped the ball in. Anyway, off he went, back we came and the all-important three points were ours. Pre-match I had hoped for three points above performance, injuries or anything else, and a win against a decent Villa side is a jolly good result.

 

Spurs – Villa Preview

 

1/10/2010: This old conundrum again. Whether two games per week is simply too much for their precious limbs, or they really do believe the hype and only mentally attune themselves for Champions League Wednesdays I know not; but for whatever reason our heroes are not coping well with the rigours of a Saturday-Wednesday-and-Saturday-again schedule.

 

It has been hard enough to cope with Wigan and West Ham; now we face a resurgent Villa side, and I don’t mind admitting I approach this game with a fair degree of trepidation. Generally I like our home performances served up with a healthy dose of swash and buckle, but in the interests of keeping pace with the top-four runners and riders, I will happily settle for all manner of scrappiness if it guarantees us another three points heading into the international break.

         

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Spurs match reports

(Back Catalogue) Spurs 4-1 Twente: Truly, Truly, All Action No Plot

Due to the horrors of the real world (new flat! new flat!), a near-lethal bout of man-flu and, most pertinently, a mightily ropey wi-fi connection, many of the AANP ramblings of recent weeks have been trapped, like the three evil types inside the glass prison in Superman 2, on a usb stick, unable to make it to the interweb. However, to ease the pain of the international break, this back-catalogue of previews and match reports will now finally see the light of day – which means that you lucky things will be able to relive all the hundred-miles-an-hour excitement of the past three weeks or so! Huzzah!

 

30/9/2010: Good grief. Even by our own astonishing standards this was fairly madcap stuff. As well as the five goals, three penalties, red card and various refereeing controversies (thought all three were pens myself, but mine is perhaps not the most objective view) this was also the first game I can recall in which a team has won 4-1 while looking throughout like they might just blow it.

 

You lot of course are well familiar with the all-action-no-plot mentality, and our heroes’ allergy to the dull and boring nil-nil draw, but with THFC circa 2010  now being given the stage of the Champions League it is a rather cheery thought that all across Europe a whole new audience rub their eyes in disbelief at the madness of N17.

 

ATTACK!!!

 

Previous CL escapades have seen the sages queuing up to chide ‘Arry for not adopting a conservative approach on our away days, but this time, with home advantage and an urgent need for three points, he went with good old-fashioned, gung-ho 4-4-2. In fact, the carefully thought-out game plan of “attack, attack and bloody well attack some more” saw just about everyone in lilywhite, including Bassong and King, charging forward towards the Twente goal at one point or another.

 

The task was a lot trickier than might have been envisaged though, our vanquished opponents doing their damnedest to nip in the bud our fluidity. Not sure whether it was a result of this stifling, or a pre-ordained plan, but in the first half in particular young Master Bale appeared to be under orders to hang early, high crosses up in the area for Crouch to gorge upon. Not really an approach of which I’m particularly enamoured, but it brought about both the missed penalty and our opening goal, so I guess I ought keep quiet and be grateful for what we have.

 

Jekyll Hudd

 

If there was an occasional, unedifying tendency to sling high balls Crouch-wards in the first hour or so, I can only stand back and applaud the manner in which we adapted after VDV’s red card and the subsequent withdrawal of Crouch. The prospect of seeing out half an hour a man down – our finest man at that – with a narrow (2-1) lead, and against feisty opposition, had a whole army of butterflies hurtling around the stomach, but by golly our heroes did a grand job. The absence of Crouch removed the urge to go long, and instead, with a maturity I had dared not dream they possessed, our lot played keep-ball, looking for all the world like they were a man up rather than down. Hudd positively revelled in the situation, demanding the responsibility of string-puller-in-chief, and prompting a surge of paternal pride at AANP Towers, where we recalled with misty eyes those days of yore when we flung up our hands, called him fat and despaired that he would never make the grade.

 

Hyde Hudd

 

It should probably be noted that Hudd can also consider himself a lucky boy for remaining on the pitch, for while I am do not think he actually realised he was about to wallop that blighter in the head, I think it is fair to say that The Flailing Elbow is an art-from rarely looked upon with kindness by officials. His demeanour (“Contorted Rage”), was also rather a picture, and may well be invoked when those heroes in blazers at UEFA mete out their retrospective punishments.

 

Jekyll, Hyde, All Action, No Plot – Van Der Vaart Had The Whole Blinking Lot

 

Column inches aplenty for VDV, a player who has taken to the all-action approach like a duck to water. A player of his age and experience ought to have known better than to have gone hurtling in to his yellow card challenges, but it is difficult to begrudge a man who is so determined to be at the hub of activity, and who adds so much quality. His first half volleys were sumptuous, oozing technique, and he then made a difficult goal look fairly straightforward. Lovely to see such difficult skills come so naturally to a player in lilywhite, and heart-warming too that we have in our ranks a midfielder in whom the urge to shoot is always prominent.

 

Bale: Now Showing Too Much Quality

 

Bale did what Bale does, after a heart-in-mouth moment in the first half when he appeared to fall victim to an x-rated challenge from the advertising hoardings. Wondrous stuff as always from the handsome young Welshman, except that now every time he gallops 50 yard, roasts half the opposition team and plonks the ball into the net, I glance nervously over my shoulder for the sight of Alex Ferguson marching up the High Road, cheque-book in hand. Someone tell young Gareth to tone done the quality and lie low for a while.

 

Elsewhere on the Pitch

 

Gomes’ one-handed save ought not to be overlooked; Modders was mightily effective in a supporting role, keeping things ticking over without ever really dipping into his box of attacking tricks; Ledley, as ever, looked majestic.

 

Two forthcoming games against Inter, while Twente and Werder Bremen squabble amongst themselves, might tip the group table upside down, but four points from two games, home and away, is the start for which we had all hoped, while the entertainment value has flown right off the scale. Nobody does all action no plot like Tottenham.

 

Spurs – Twente Preview

 

29/9/2010: The unspoken agreement in place seems to be that Premiership points can be traded off for rip-snorting Champions League performances. (I call it an “agreement”, but this does rather seem to have been imposed upon us fans by the players, without any option. Such is life). It is therefore time for our heroes to stick to their side of the bargain. If they want to amble around the pitch while Premiership minnows sneak off with the spoils, then they had jolly well better repay us – starting tonight. Insouciantly chucking away the two-goal lead in Bremen was acceptable, because apparently a point away from home in the Champions League is allowed, but any similar nonsense at home tonight would leave us with an awkward few evenings in store.

 

Last season we set a healthy precedent of turning floodlit games at the Lane into glory glory nights worthy of club shop DVDs, so the template is in place. A high-octane start, an early goal or two, a throbbing Lane audience – we all know the drill. Time for our lot to make names for themselves.

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Spurs match reports

(Back Catalogue) West Ham 1-0 Spurs: Time For A Settled XI?

Due to the horrors of the real world (new flat! new flat!), a near-lethal bout of man-flu and, most pertinently, a mightily ropey wi-fi connection, the AANP ramblings of recent weeks have been trapped, like the three evil types inside the glass prison in Superman 2, on a usb stick, unable to make it to the interweb. However, to ease the pain of the international break, this back-catalogue of previews and match reports will now finally see the light of day – which means that you lucky things will be able to relive all the hundred-miles-an-hour excitement of the past three weeks or so! Huzzah!

26/9/2010: Impossible to gauge, but I suspect I’m not alone in thinking that we would not be in this predicament if we did not have two games per week. Admittedly eight points from six games, and ninth position at this early stage, is hardly the most critical situation, but four points from the quadruple-header of Wigan, Wolves, West Brom and West Ham is pretty shoddy form, make no mistake.

Time to for a Settled XI?

I understand the principle of chopping and changing, resting players if possible and utilising our sizeable squad for the rigours of a two-games-per-week season, but with our league form now looking ropey I would quite happily see ‘Arry simply select his strongest available XI, irrespective of the competition, for the next half dozen fixtures or so. The Ledley situation is obviously the delicate issue here, but another month of haemorrhaged Premiership points would probably leave us playing catch-up in the bid to finish fourth again. Forget the notion of game-time for Sergeant Wilson, Jenas, Keane etc – could we not just pick our strongest 4-4-2 and try to rack up a few wins?

Lashings of Mediocrity

Rant over. The barrage of the West Ham goal for the last half hour or so was all very well, but our heroes were found badly wanting in the first half. There were some bright moments, particularly the interplay of Modders and VDV, but by and large we were second best to a team who simply appeared to want it more.

Rumours of Jenas’ latest resurgence looked woefully inaccurate, as he turned in the sort of anonymous, toothless display that has had all 36,000 at the Lane shrieking vitriol at him week in and week out for around ten years. Perhaps more bothersome, Hudd was also well below par, while Aaron Lennon’s shaved eyebrow does not look half as menacing when etched across a moody, frustrated visage. The back-four looked about as makeshift as Bale-Corluka-Bassong-Hutton sounds. Up in attack poor old Crouchy was on the whole starved both of service and company. If we persist with this 4-5-1 malarkey – and if it means more of the Modders-VDV roadshow there is a compelling reason to do so – we blinking well need a forward who can put the “1” into 4-5-1.

Admittedly, but for the fingertips of Green (barely recognisable from that World Cup clown) and the width of the woodwork, we might be purring admiringly about this being a well-ground out away point or three, but that is one for a parallel universe. Our lot looked a long way off another top-four challenge, and the players have the air of those who consider their Chamipons League status to equate to a cloak of invincibility from criticism. It is plain darn worrying that the urgency to scrape every point going, which by and large was present last season, is lacking this time around. Last season, falling behind at Upton Park meant fighting back and winning, because there was fourth place to play for, and every point gained in autumn would prove precious come May. This time around the thought of May, and points, and fourth, seems of less concern, a wrong that needs righting pronto.

West Ham – Spurs Preview

25/9/2010: A few years ago, during the glory glory days of Christian Gross and Gerry Francis, a trip to the bottom team would have been precisely the sort of fixture our heroes would lose. Back then, we were also the team against which a generally useless foreign striker, without a goal in half a dozen games since arriving in England, would break his duck; or when up against a team that had gone four games without a goal, we would find ourselves two down by half-time.

In recent years, and last season in particular, we appeared to have cured these maladies. Travel to a team in the relegation zone, and last season we tended to dig in and grab all three points. As a reward for such pains we now get to hear the Champions League theme tune every week or two. Admittedly there were hiccups at home, but generally we fared well at the Lane, and showed most un-Tottenham like fight on our travels.

Not quite sure where we stand this season however – the win at Stoke was marvellous, the home defeat to a Wigan team that had, until that point, been doing everything in their power to cast themselves as the division’s whipping-boys, was painfully reminiscent of the Francis/Gross eras.

So tomorrow off we toddle to those delightful folk at Upton Park, for a game against the bottom team in the Premiership, which on paper at least spells out “three points” in block capitals and stencil font, as used to such emphatic effect in the A-Team. The nagging worry is that with all the bells and whistles of the Champions League, back in the Premiership we are morphing back into the Francis/Gross teams.

Mercifully, the Tottenham circa 2010 can be distinguished from its 1990s equivalents by a handful of genuinely top-notch attackers. In van der Vaart, Modders and Bale we have three little nuggets of awesomeness, and even should the rest of them fail to fire on the requisite number of cylinders, I back these three, between them, to do enough for three points.

 

 

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Spurs match reports

(Back Catalogue) Spurs 1-4 Arsenal: Never Mind The Kids, What About The Grown-Ups?

Due to the horrors of the real world (new flat! new flat!), a near-lethal bout of man-flu and, most pertinently, a mightily ropey wi-fi connection, the AANP ramblings of recent weeks have been trapped, like the three evil types inside the glass prison in Superman 2, on a usb stick, unable to make it to the interweb. However, to ease the pain of the international break, this back-catalogue of previews and match reports will now finally see the light of day – which means that you lucky things will be able to relive all the hundred-miles-an-hour excitement of the past three weeks or so! Huzzah!

 

22/9/2010: I guess this is what it would be like if the A-Team were locked in a shed, constructed their usual tank and burst out of said shed – only for it to break down immediately and for all four of them to be dragged out and shot to death. Having rather hung on for 90 minutes, extra-time promised some sort of rousing finale, so there was an unfortunately anti-climactic feel to the manner in which the game so swiftly became a lost cause, with the best part of half an hour left to play. (That said, pats on backs to all those who hung around to sing their hearts out in the dying minutes – oh that those on the pitch might have shown the same passion…)

 

The Kids

 

Rare starts for Livermore and Naughton, and a debut at centre-back for Caulker. Each of them did just about what you would expect: some slick technique, plenty of youthful enthusiasm, some false bravado and a few moments of panic when hairy situations arose. None had me salivating in frenzied anticipation, nor cursing the day they signed up as lilywhites. Good luck to all three.

 

The grown-ups however ought to have known better. In the first half in particular there was a lack of leadership, with Sergeant Wilson – now resembling a poor man’s Zokora, of all things – Giovani, Bentley and Pav a little too willing to let the buck be passed, rather than leading by example.

 

Aside from the personnel, the first half formation was a mite curious. ‘Arry seemed to go for three deep midfielders, in Sandro, Livermore and Palacios, and they spent much of the first 45 getting in each other’s way; while Bentley was stationed out on the left, and Pav moped around waiting in vain for some service or some company up top. All generalisations you understand, but in general the tactical approach of the first half seemed rather a muddle, and we also spent rather a long time learning that precious little damage can be done if we don’t have the ball.

 

However, the second half brought more purpose, most obviously through the introduction of Keane, who bounded around with an enthusiasm that put several of his team-mates to shame, and the reversion to a more orthodox 4-4-2. Given l’Arse’s curious penchant for trying to win through looking pretty rather than outscoring the opposition, we actually created the better chances over 90 minutes. For all their possession, including that three or four-minute spell in the first half where we simply could not get a touch of the ball, we actually defended in sufficiently organised fashion to prevent them making many clear chances.

 

Kranjcar?

 

Thrown on when we went 3-1 down and the game was officially being stamped with the big red sign that reads “Cause: Lost”, I did rather scratch my head and wonder why ‘Arry opted against his inclusion from the start, particularly having made all sorts of noises beforehand about giving him some game time. True, he hardly covered himself in glory during his 20 minute shift, but the chap is still a mighty useful player, and I would purse my lips in frustration if he were shunted out of the door come January.

 

Silver Lining

 

A damn shame to get knocked out like that, and the baiting from my Arse-supporting chums was an unwelcome throwback to the days of yore, but it is fairly undoubtedly a measure of how far we have come that the Carling Cup, the trophy that was the pinnacle of our season just two and a half years ago, is now this far down our list of priorities. Having taken a hammering at home to that ‘orrible lot from up the road, the sentiment on the train back up to Enfield was one of only mild annoyance, for this was very much a match played with the bigger picture in mind.

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Spurs match reports

Spurs 3-1 Wolves: Who Gets Your Full-Backing?

As if a flight across time-zones was not discombobulating enough, I found myself stepping off the plane to be greeted by the news that Alan Hutton had scored for us, while Jermaine Jenas had put in a decent performance and Robbie Keane had started -all of which left me wondering whether I had flown into a new space-time continuum rather than simply across continents.

 

No Match Report Around These Parts

 

No comment can be passed from AANP Towers on the specifics of our win over Wolves, as I was airborne at the time, but certain areas of the team selection certainly caught the eye in the aftermath. In particular, a penny for the thoughts of Messrs Assou-Ekotto and Corluka, once upon a time nailed-in as one quarter each, respectively, of the back four, but now looking like the weaker of the links in the Tottenham team.

 

Left-Back: Assou-Ekotto or Bale?

 

On reflection I’m not sure I would ever like an insight into the mind of BAE, given that few men in Christendom have ever been possessed of a gaze more suited to that of a cold-blooded murderer. That aside the chap is currently enduring something of a fall from grace. Season 2008-09 was rather the making of him, as he turned into a mighty dependable left-back in the wake of the Wendy Ramos debacle. Last season however saw Gareth Bale emerge from his cocoon like some infantile god hatching from a celestial egg – meaning that BAE’s selection now largely depends on how far up the pitch Bale will play.

 

BAE’s concerns have in this respect been exacerbated by the arrival of van der Vaart, as the inclusion of VDV, Modders and Bale is arguably best facilitated by switching Bale to left-back, even despite his defensive frailties.

 

BAE is nowhere near the equal of Bale when marauding forward, and it hardly helps that his defensive showings have been far from watertight this season. His erratic form so far this campaign seemed neatly encapsulated by the two legs against Young Boys: shoddy in the first leg he was hauled off after half an hour; but he followed up with an impeccable defensive display in the second.

 

In the final analysis therefore, in common with those undertaking the oldest profession in the world, much of BAE’s fortune depends on others, for if Modders and VDV are to be included in a 4-4-2 then Bale would get the nod at left-back.

 

But Isn’t Bale Rather Wasted At Left-Back?

 

This does of course beg the question of whether left-back bring the best out of Bale. Arriving from deep he has the advantage of a midfielder cutting infield ahead of him, creating room for him to overlap as, effectively, a fifth midfielder. Nevertheless there is always the nagging sense that Bale’s all-round attacking wondrousness is curtailed when he slots into his abode within the back-four.

 

Right-Back: Corluka?

 

On t’other flank, in his capacity as the complete antithesis of Usain Bolt, Corluka has generally expiated for the total absence of pace with his positioning and fairly sound reading of the game. Nevertheless, show me a Spurs supporter who does not panic whenever a winger knocks the ball beyond Corluka and scuttles, and I’ll show you someone who is blind or quite possibly an Arsenal fan.

 

Kaboul?

 

The stakes have been raised at right-back by the curious renaissance of Younes Kaboul. Having initially taken to the role like an elephant to ballet, he swiftly learned the ins and outs and while he is still not exactly a classic full-back, he does now combine purposeful defence with speed going forward.

 

Hutton?

 

And then there is Alan Hutton, who was evidently hauled out of his two-year stint in a cryogenic freezing chamber on Saturday, and responded by reminding us that deep down he would probably like to be a right-winger. He rode his luck in scoring – first in his cunning use of a one-two with himself, and secondly in the handy deflection off his knee – but I cannot remember Corluka making too many determined sprints into the heart of the opposition area. As with Bale on the left however, Hutton’s attacking instincts have generally gambolled hand-in-hand with concerns about his defensive ability.

 

As at left-back, much also depends on the selection in midfield, because the Corluka-Lennon combo has befuddled many an opposing left-back, with that weighted diagonal ball inside the full-back a particular favourite here at AANP Towers. Neverthless, in terms of hand-picking the best from both the attacking and defensive worlds, AANP currently plumps for Monsieur Kaboul.

 

All academic at the moment, with both Kaboul and Corluka currently injured, but something for ‘Arry to consider each morning as he chews on his Weetabix. Your own musings on these topics are very much welcomed below.

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Spurs match reports

Spurs – Wolves Preview: Five Things I Would Like To See From Tottenham Today…

Admittedly a wish-lit of things I would like to see this afternoon ought to include an end to world poverty and the like, but with the disclaimer that I focus the following thoughts on goings-on at N17, pray go ahead and dig in to things I would like to see around 3pm British Summer Time…

1. The Match. The AANP Towers merry little jape with its American cousins comes to a conclusion around kick-off time, so while our heroes are busy complicating the straightforward task of despatching Wolves at home, I will be several thousand feet in the air. I look forward with glee to news of glorious victory on my return to terra firma.

2. Fluid One-Touch Football. À la most of the first half against Werder Bremen, and indeed most of last season. Play like that and Wolves won’t be able to live with us.

3. A Clean Sheet. Can’t quite remember what they are like, but I have it on good information that they are awesome.

4. Aaron Lennon Circa Autumn 2009. The shaven eyebrowed one has failed to set the world alight so far this season, to the extent that he has suffered the indignity of being usurped within the England team by Theo blinking Walcott. Last autumn Gareth Bale was still a jinx on Tottenham, and Lennon was beginning to hit the form of his life. A return to such halcyon days on the right wing would be peachy, and might also have the pleasant side-effect of bucking up Corluka.

5. Three Points. This business of adjusting to life in the Champions League is all well and good, but at some point or other our heroes will be forced to get their hands dirty and rack up a string of Premiership wins. Frankly I think I would trade in all of the above and more for a win, just to re-rail a League campaign that has hinted at full-blown derailment.

By no means a definitive list, but as we at AANP Towers are dusting down our cravats and cummerbands, in preparation for nocturnal acquaintanceship with the charming young ladies of America, I’m sure you’ll excuse the brevity. You get the gist – three points; glorious performance; no injuries; return to form from those off colour. Make me proud, chaps.

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Spurs match reports

Werder Bremen 2-2 Spurs: Backing ‘Arry’s All-Action Approach

Take that, Champions League. Cagey away teams? Ten men behind the ball? Sheer gubbins, cried the merry men of White Hart Lane. We did it the Tottenham way, and while some will probably berate ‘Arry for not adopting a more conservative approach, particularly when two goals ahead, I revelled almost drunkenly in our insistence upon flying forward at every given opportunity. Some – nay, many – will lambast our approach as naive, but I was chuffed to my core to witness a Tottenham side deciding against sitting upon an early lead, and instead looking to stretch further and further ahead, playing some absolutely coruscating one-touch football in the process. Our lot looked more psyched than they have done since – well, since the last Champions League game, and were ruddy well worth a two-gola first half lead.

Point of note: we were actually cruising until we actually conceded. Our advantage was by no means reduced because of capitulation to opposition pressure – in fact Carlo Cudicini barely needed to break sweat, beyond thumping the odd back-pass upfield. Trouble only reared its head when Benny Assou-Ekotto delivered a clearance so wild, needless and bizarrely backward that it prompted the chap sitting next to me to proclaim that it was part of a betting scam. From a situation of no danger whatsoever we conceded a throw, from which Bremen scored, and about 43 minutes of cracking first half work was instantly undone. Curses.

Van der Vaart: AANP Favourite

But what cracking first half work it was. Blinking heck. In our first ever official Champions League game Rafael van der Vaart demonstrated all his top-level nous, and played like a man possessed, without any of the rabid insanity. All composed passing and intelligent vision, the mildly cross-eyed Dutch genius coolly bossed the game. And we absolutely rocked. Aaron Lennon was again strangely subdued, despite going eyeball-to-eyeball with the deeply old and slow Mikael Silvestre, but everyone else with an attacking bent handily brought along their A-game.

Par example: it always pains me to say it, but – in the first half at least – Jermaine Jenas was mightily impressive. In fact, I even made a note of the first time I noticed him play a backwards pass: 62 mins, 51 seconds. Until then he buzzed with positive intent and first-time distribution, and his volley to create the second goal was particularly impressive. The Hudd provided a good deep-lying outlet; Kaboul played with aggressive intent at the back; everything was chugging along just tickety-boo. The concession of goals and removal of VDV ruined things, but the first half provided plenty of cause for encouragement, and had me musing that the additions of Modders, Gomes, Daws and Defoe would turn us into a cracking little CL outfit.

Elsewhere On The Pitch…

The AANP theory on Peter Crouch is that the novelty has worn off domestically, so that every Premiership defence feels relatively at ease in formulating a plan to deal with him; but continental opposition, either at club or country level, are inclined to defecate in their shorts at the sight of him, all pointy and long, stumbling towards them like a gargantuan grasshopper. Whatever the reason, Bremen struggled to get to grips with the blighter and he led the line jolly well, holding it up, laying it off as appropriate and taking his goal well. (Didn’t stop me cursing his entire family when he messed up that late chance though.)

I have begun to speculate that everything positive that occurs in the universe is prompted by Gareth Bale, and this near-faultless notion was corroborated by his performance, with the cross for the first goal demonstrating the value of whipping a cross into a dangerous area, rather than trying to pick out a particular chum. Aaron Lennon take note. By contrast, too many bad things happen when BAE gets hold of the ball, and he and Corluka look too much like the weak links in our line-up.

The goals either side of the interval damn well knocked the wind from our sails, and the absence of Mr VDV certainly did not aid matters, as the ball morphed from cuddly pet cherished by all to hot potato feared by every man and his dog, but in the final analysis a point away from home is no mean feat in the Champions League. I don’t doubt that many will demand the rolling of heads, and insist that a more conservative approach is required on European away days, but around these parts the cockles are warmed by the sight of a Tottenham team gamely taking every opportunity to attack, and pinging the ball around in confident one-touch style. I considered that in the first half, even though the away team, we did the right thing in taking the game to Bremen, and had we made it to half-time with a clean sheet we might have returned with three points rather than one. I for one would be a mite disappointed if we abandoned this attack-minded philosophy in favour of defending for a nil-nil, counter-attacking style from first minute to last – but to each their own.

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Spurs match reports

West Brom 1-1 Spurs: The Glorious New Era Begins

 With apologies for the tardiness – this missive is penned from a NYC-to-DC coach, as the all-action holiday in America continues.

Thus began the glorious new era. Designed with a view to travelling to the San Siro and such places, and chastened by the Young Boys plastic pitch experience, ‘Arry  unveiled his brand spanking new and eagerly-awaited  4-4-1-1 away formation, and I found myself anticipating it in the same excited manner with which I used to look forward to the launch of a new away kit, as a nipper.

Back in 1991 it was a yellow Umbro number with jagged blue flashes on one shoulder and the shorts. In September 2010 it was 4-4-1-1, with Rafael van der Vaart in the hole behind the front-man; Modders and Bale working the left; Lennon wide right; and Sergeant Wilson and Hudd providing a central buffer for the defence. On paper it looks awesome, in Championship Manager it probably would work a treat, and for 20 minutes or so on Saturday it seemed a grand idea, but by the full-time whistle our heroes were hanging on in far from convincing manner, and it was apparent that this wondrous innovation required some tweaking.

Homework for This Week

The return of the walking wounded, coupled with improved fitness amongst the newbies, will probably improve matters, but neither manager nor players ought to be short of things to practise in the coming days. Messrs VDV and Gallas would probably benefit from a few shuttle runs and a bleep test, but the former at least showed, sporadically, that he will be a rather tasty addition to the White Hart Lane cast list. Our glorious leader has been licking his lips at the prospect of VDV and Modders getting better acquainted, and it is not difficult to see why, but that particular best-laid plan went fairly swiftly agley on Saturday. As Modders hit the deck and departed stage left, the signal was given and the Bell of Doom duly rung at AANP Towers. Mercifully however the prognosis is not too serious.

Modric’s departure did not help, but in general the midfield made dashed hard work of things. When a greying, pot-bellied Hudd gathers around the grandchildren several decades hence and tells them tales of his glory days in the Tottenham midfield, the September 2010 game away to West Brom is unlikely to figure too prominently in his rich tapestry. With all around him eagerly charging forward he seemed a little uncomfortable with his role alongside the Sergeant, of buffering the back-four.Palacios meanwhile is diligently continuing his fall from grace, with another performance of questionable quality. His arrival some 18 months ago, and the six months of glorious tenacity that followed, seemed a lifetime away on Saturday. Grumblings of discontent will presumably be increasing in volume around the streets of N17, and the name of Sandro more frequently thrown into conversation. Disappointing stuff too from young Aaron Lennon, while the new-look defence will also need to rehearse their lines a little better and poor old Pav beavered away without much joy in the lone striker role.

 

Must Do Better Chaps…

A draw away to West Brom is not quite disastrous, but if this is the prototype for Champions League away days then by golly our heroes need to sharpen up their act. One point from two eminently winnable games suggests that much elbow-grease will be required (not to mention a striker capable of leading the line on his own in a 4-5-1) if the glories of last season are to be replicated.

Sincere thanks to SiberiaSpur for providing the info that enabled me to watch the soccer out here…