All Action, No Plot

Well we can postpone work on those “Sack ‘Arry” placards for the time-being at least. With a maturity that even they themselves probably did not realise they possessed our heroes adapted to the conditions better than the other lot, made better chances and saw out the game with consummate professionalism. While I braced myself for a late bout of insanity from someone or other, the players abandoned an age-old Tottenham tradition and instead navigated through to the end without any scares.

The pitch hardly made for champagne football, and for a while it looked like our lot were under orders to bypass the mud by pinging long balls at every opportunity, but to their credit they persevered with the passing game as much as the conditions allowed. (Before Modders came and made it look like he was playing on a bowling-green.)

As well as their use of the ball and acclimatisation to the conditions, the willingness to roll up sleeves, slide through the mud and fight the attritional war was also most gratifying (in theory at least, although Messrs Defoe and Bale adopted dangerously dubious interpretations of the notion of “getting stuck in”). While we did not necessarily always win those 50-50 balls, neither did we look like we would shirk the challenges. Top marks, chaps.

The Opening Goal

I suspect even objective Wigan fans would admit that we were good value for the win, but there is no denying that the first goal went miles beyond the boundary of “fortuitous”, and ensconced itself comfortably in the world of the downright absurd. While Bale’s charge down the left merits thumping applause, Defoe had, as ever, clearly jumped the gun. He did at least have the grace to look suitably embarrassed by it all.

C’est la vie. Statistics may suggest otherwise, but AANP is of the train of thought that these things loosely even out over a season, and we have certainly been hard done by in recent weeks (off the top of my head Defoe’s disallowed goal against Liverpool, and penalty shout against Villa, in recent weeks). Moreover, for all the controversy surrounding it the opening goal did not make a huge difference to the general pattern of the game, throughout which manful efforts to plough through the quagmire were achieved better by our lot than theirs.

However, there is a counter-argument that that opening goal was crucial for us inasmuch as that breaking the deadlock has become something of a mental barrier for us in recent weeks. Time and again we have played well but failed to get that all-important first goal, with the result that we have ended up battering away at a ten-man defence. On Sunday, through outrageous officiating we found ourselves ahead - and were then able to play against a team forced to edge out towards us. Wigan did not exactly come at us all guns blazing, but nor were they able to pile bodies into defence. As a result, particularly in the second half, our forwards found themselves man-to-man against a defender, rather than facing two banks of four.

Triffic Substitutions

A little oddly, both our subs, Modders and Pav, looked absolute world-beaters when they entered the fray. Inspired changes from ‘Arry? Or is it simply the case that fresh legs were worth their weight in gold in the dying stages, particularly on a pitch as heavy as Wigan’s? Casting my mind back a week, Kranjcar too looked particularly impressive when introduced as substitute in the second half against Bolton (in place of Modric himself on that occasion), again making me wonder whether it was the brand spanking newness of the limbs, rather than the quality they conveyed, which made the difference. Whatever the case may be, in Bale, Bassong, Kranjcar, Bentley and Pav we have a handful of very adequate substitutes, and something approaching squad-depth.

Pav: Super

He is evidently a popular little bunny amongst his team-mates, but ‘Arry did not exactly look thrilled to bits with Pav’s little cameo, the camera close-up straight after the third goal capturing a particularly morose expression across the face of our glorious leader. However, there is now no avoiding the fact that our head honcho has a selection dilemma. An inspired twenty minutes as substitute is one thing, but can Pav produce the goods on a regular basis? Does he only play like that against weaker teams? How would he fare if given a regular run in a settled side (I discount the Wendy Ramos era in which he featured as not constituting “a settled side”)? Would he and Defoe work as a combo?

Such questions are unanswered at present, but he looked mighty darned classy on Sunday, the contrast with his gangling strike partner neatly emphasised when he scored precisely the sort of chance Crouch had missed moments earlier. Not many tears would be shed if the lanky one were dropped to the bench and Pav given a starting-berth alongside Defoe for a few games. Crouch is a jack of various trades but master of none, and the time might be right to lock him in a cage labelled “Plan B”.

Corluka: Not So Super

We at AANP Towers are rarely happy unless we can find something about which to be unhappy, and in the last few weeks the mumblings of discontent have been aimed at the least glamorous of our trio of Croatians. Granted, Corluka makes a vital contribution to The Lennon Phenomenon, with that neat line in dinked through-balls inside the full-back. However, in the absence of the shaven-eyebrowed deity the lumbering Croat can hardly be considered God’s gift to The World of Attacking Full-Backs, and as such his defensive game needs to be watertight - but not for the first time, on Sunday he was sloppy at the back on several occasions.

All told however, it was a staggeringly professional display. Solid in defence; determined and creative as necessary in midfield; sharp in attack. That’s three consecutive halves of good football from our lot – so for one week at least the Prophets of Doom have courteously shuffled aside, to let the Top-Four Delusionalists make themselves heard.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, will be in shops from 6 March - but is available to pre-order now from Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

Just picking an entirely arbitrary number, it’s AANP’s (by no means exhaustive) nine-point wish-list for this afternoon’s trip to Wigan…

1. Same Old Same Old From Gomes

Watching l’Arse goalkeeper Lucas Fabianski pass his Three Stooges audition with flying colours this week gave a pleasant reminder that, for all our problems at the other end, between the sticks we are well-blessed. In generations to come AANP’s grandchildren will gather around and listen with disbelieving ears at tales of how calamitous Gomes was in his early days, but mercifully such an age is long passed.  The big Brazilian has been one of our best performers this season, and at the end of a week in which even such goalkeeping luminaries as Shay Given and Brad Friedel have erred rather prominently, it is good to know that our last line of defence is so secure. More of the same this afternoon please.

2. Domineering Performance From Hudd

Whatever the varying opinions of his contributions, it is beyond dispute that Hudd is first-choice centre-midfielder – so let’s see him play like one. Every week. All the best players have occasional off-days, but the big lad’s are far too frequent. Wigan away might not necessarily be the jolliest of cake-walks, but a central midfielder at a top-four team ought to dominate such fare.

3. Score The Next Ruddy Penalty We Are Awarded

Even if Sandra herself steps up, for goodness’ sake show some confidence and bury the blasted thing. It has been damningly suggested in various quarters that our heroes’ lack of mettle from 12 yards is indicative of a broader mentality throughout the team, a mentality that decrees we fail to beat inferior teams and choke at the sight of fourth place.

4. Give Us Back Our Modric

He’s been a changed man since returning from injury. It is understandable I suppose, but there appears to be an added timidity, and he is being muscled out of games before he has a chance to shine.

5. Law of the Ex

Sergeant Wilson is up against his former employers today, which typically is a signal for the man in question to get on the scoresheet, but I think we would settle for a goalless-but-imperious performance from our much-loved pitbull. His snap appears to be returning, and although his distribution is more often than not awry the good is outweighing the bad once more. Should Wigan spoil for a fight today, Palacios is the man to whom we will look to return the punches.

6. Striking Alternative

They are decent enough, but the Crouch-Defoe partnership does not really have anyone leaping off their seat and shrieking with joy unconfined. Murmurs of Pav returning to the fold at some point over the next week may just be mischievous ‘Arry-talk, but the prospect of the Russian linking with Defoe has an exciting ring to it.

7. The Return of Lennnon

Whispers had suggested that he may be up and running at some point this afternoon, although it now seems another week on the sidelines beckons. Not to denigrate the efforts of D. Bentley Esquire, but the absence of Lennon has been rather keenly felt. As there is a danger that we may be attaching a smidgeon too much weight upon his tiny little shoulders, for the moment I am content with the modest assumption that his return will instantly transform us into a free-scoring, irrepressible, non-stop attacking juggernaut, on a par with Brazil 1970, set to embark upon a 10-game winning streak that comfortably ensures a top-four finish. (In much the same way as I assumed that the return from injury of Modders, a month or so ago, would have a similar impact.) Should Lennon return and prove himself to be anything less than a shaven-eyebrowed Messiah there will be some deeply-furrowed brows around AANP Towers.

8. Turn Up at Kick-Off

Not least to fulfil the Sky TV obligations, but it would also be jolly nice if our heroes got stuck in from the off. As fully-paid professionals, trained for nothing else since childhood, it strikes me as mildly curious that they need to be reminded of their duties at half-time (as last week at Bolton). Pick up where we left off last week and things should turn out just peachy, but another classic AWOL first-half from Tottenham could leave us in that oh-so-familiar position of having to hammer relentlessly at a ten-man defence before trudging home with tails between legs.

9. Three Points

By hook, crook or penalties. Forget nine goals, just one more than the other lot will suffice. The momentum has disappeared from our season in the manner of a Jenas forward burst, pause, about-turn and backwards pass; but we are still very much in touch with the top-four chasers, and our current malady is nothing a little string of wins would not cure.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, will be in shops from 6 March - but is available to pre-order now from Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

This weekend should tell us a thing or two about ‘Arry’s Tottenham. Fully capable of obliterating the lesser teams of the division, yet pretty emphatically dismantled by those in the top tier, our form this season has generally swung quite wildly between two extremes.

Objectively, it’s difficult to tell whether the Tottenham tankard is half-full or half-empty, with two consecutive wins having followed a decidedly patchy run of results and performances. We were as awesome against Wigan last week as we were awful against l’Arse last month. As one of our rivals for fourth spot, Villa are more evenly matched, and both result and performance today will give an indication of how we are progressing.

Hudd Would Have Got Away With It If it Weren’t For Those Pesky Kids

The Hudd makes for a handy barometer of our form. He has rarely looked happier than in recent weeks when he has been able to pull the strings – and chip in with the odd peach of a goal - as we have sauntered around with the cushion of a several-goal lead. One suspects he won’t be afforded such a luxury at Villa Park this afternoon, and bearing in mind his anonymous performances against Man Utd and l’Arse just a few weeks back, this is a chance for us to unmask the chap in Scooby-Doo fashion and discover just who Tom Huddlestone really is. Place your bets – international-class boss of the midfield, or fat man chasing shadows?

Nine-Goal Hangover?

Also interested to see how we react to last week’s little nine-goal parade. Actually, not so much “interested” as overcome with an inevitable dread. Once the euphoria of last Sunday had faded, that old cloak of pessimism enveloped me, and as a result I can quite clearly envisage a performance against Villa which will be scientifically classified as the polar opposite of last week’s swaggering goal-fest.

When I close my eyes, the particular recurring nightmare of this week has been that post Carling Cup-hangover of 2008, which had the team labouring under the misapprehension that winners’ medals granted them the divine right to win further games simply by pitching up and harking back to that glorious Sunday afternoon. Lest we forget, they stumbled back to a royal thrashing the following weekend (up in the Midlands, incidentally - Birmingham away on that occasion) and spent the rest of the season bombing. It is certainly not difficult to envisage a similar complacency causing our downfall today.

Naturally, there are those who, on the basis of the Wigan game, have already begun planning their trips to the Nou Camp and San Siro for next season’s Champions League games. On the whole however, perspective seems to have been retained amongst the Tottenham faithful. It was awesome, but only one game and only three points. Actually, given the boost provided to goal difference, it was effectively four points – but the conclusion remains that such good work will be largely undone if we mess things up at Villa Park. 

Villa Away: Not The Same As Wigan At Home

While I would love to think we’ll follow up last week’s entertainment with another goal-blitz, Villa away will be a vastly different kettle of fish. We came out of the blocks well last week, but a better team might have punished us first for failing to increase our lead early on and then for playing a tad carelessly in the 20-minute period before half-time.

Moreover the curious rule of The Away Team means that we are unlikely to begin the game in the same rip-roaring manner as we did at home last week. (Although why the devil this should be I really don’t know – the dimensions of the Villa Park pitch are presumably just about identical to White Hart Lane, are they not? The ball is still round? So why the change in mentality? Presumably the answer is crowd noise, yet players always seem to bang on about the fact that they do not really hear the crowd once the game begins… Apologies for the rant, just a personal bête-noire.)

Teamsheet

Having won 9-1 last time out, wholesale changes are unlikely, but ‘Arry may yet tinker with the front line, with Keane a possible replacement for Crouch. Our lot can take credit for resisting the long-ball urge last week, but away from home, if Crouch is in the team the temptation to go long might just prove too much.

Elsewhere, the usual suspects remain injured, although there are some delightful snaps on the club website of Modders finally taking his first steps back to fitness, with a game against a bunch of primary school kids in Spurs tracksuits.

If you like what you’ve read you can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here

Good grief.

Tongue was firmly in cheek last night when I idly typed.

” …the modest wish-list from AANP Towers is simply that three points are garnered, by a healthy margin and in exhilarating, easy-on-the eye style.”

However, someone somewhere at the Lane took this far too literally and as a result poor old Chris Kirkland is going to need counselling.

It’s only one game, but for now I think we have every right to strut. Back in the day, the old Grandstand vidi-printer on the BBC would churn out results with a comforting robotic facelessness on a Saturday afternoon. Every now and then, amidst the run-of-mill 0-0’s and 2-1’s, a team would score so many that the vidi-printer would have to spell it out as a word in brackets, just to assure disbelieving eyes that it hadn’t gone into meltdown, but that one team really had gone crazy and racked up a rugby scoreline. And today that team is us.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR 9 (NINE) WIGAN ATHLETIC 1

Kranjcar and Lennon

Presumably, the little chap in attack will grab most headlines, but from the outset the presence of Kranjcar and Lennon provided a balance, width and shape that was lacking against Sunderland last week. With these two in fine fettle we also had enough inventiveness to avoid any resort to that obscene long-ball nonsense sighted in recent weeks.

Kranjcar mixed plenty of classy touches with laudable commitment in chasing and harrying, while Lennon crucially matched the quality of his dribbling with diamond-encrusted end-product. Once upon a time we flung our hands up in despair as a wonderful Lennon run culminated in a woefully misguided cross; today the Midas bug bit him and after repeatedly tearing Wigan to shreds he laid on a selection of final balls from which it would have been plain rude to miss. Good to have you back lad.

The early goal might have heralded a first half barrage, but we eased off the throttle after about 20-25 minutes, and there was a degree of unease in the half-time natterings in some parts of the ground. As it happened though, apart from those slightly wayward 25 first half minutes, the whole midfield purred like an immaculately-maintained Rolls Royce, sometimes just toying with Wigan, other times slicing them apart. It was particularly good to see Sergeant Wilson look once more like his old self, after a slight dip in form.

On other days, when we’re struggling to break down a stubborn defence in a tight game, the shots will bounce off rather than just inside the post (Exhibit A – Kranjcar vs Stoke a few weeks back). Such was the way of things today however, that even a long-range Bentley free-kick squeezed into a gap seemingly no larger than a 10 pence coin.

How Does Defoe Compare to Greaves?

A crossing of wires at AANP Towers meant that a spare ticket materialised an hour prior to kick-off, so my old man the venerable AANP Snr, veteran supporter of the ’61 double-winners, was whisked along to the Lane for this afternoon’s entertainment. Quite the lucky mascot, it seems.

As one who has never been slow to sing the praises of the club’s all-time leading goalscorer, one James Peter Greaves, I asked Dad at full-time how Defoe compared. “Greaves was trickier with his feet… but Defoe is just as good a goalscorer,” was the considered reply, and although delivered immediately after the final whistle, at a time when euphoria was getting the better of all of us, that’s high praise indeed.

Defoe has some way to go to match a record of 266 goals in 379 games, but by golly he is going about things in the right way. He was an absolute machine today, three of his goals virtually identical, and all absolutely clinical. No messing around with fancy chips and the like, he just stalked the Wigan defence and pounced ruthlessly upon the half-chances.

Criticisms

.

A Penny For Robbie Keane’s Thoughts

No Keane, no Jenas – nine goals.

Not as straightforward as that of course, although those with spleen to vent will probably consider that a case can now be made against the inclusion of these two ever again. However, with no-one having to jump through flaming hoops to accommodate Keane we were able to adopt a shape with which everyone appeared comfortable, while the Crouch-Defoe partnership seemed to work well enough from this vantage point.

Keane, it seems, was “rested” rather than dropped, following his midweek 120 minute stint for Ireland. Nine goals suggests it ain’t broke, but ‘Arry may nevertheless be tempted to reinstate Keane for the visit to Villa Park next week.

Our Vanquished Opponents

A handball it may have been for their goal from Paul “Thierry” Scharner, but I doubt there will be too many calls to replay this game. Wigan’s half dozen supporters probably felt relatively perky going into half-time with just the one goal deficit. Bless. Their curious away strip was an affront to the eyes, and as they miskicked and stumbled their way through the second half in ghastly luminous orange, suspicion grew that the fellas out on the pitch were not a professional football team but a hastily-assembled bunch of stewards. If we were all action, they were no plot.

The Warm, Fuzzy Nine-Goal Glow

A different atmosphere from that which, for example, greeted the hard-earned victory over Liverpool on the opening day, but no less memorable. And while basking in the warm and fuzzy glow which a nine-one victory creates, it is worth also toasting the healthy side-effects, not least a goal difference that is now worth an extra point over our rivals for fourth. Some crunch games approacheth, the likes of Villa and Man City, but when weaker opposition have been presented this season (with Stoke the one exception) we have ruddy well annihilated them. So far, so good.

Every dog has his day, and even the most barbed rival supporters will simply have to hold up their hands and accept a hitherto unknown level of smugness from us over the next few days. Enjoy.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here

As ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the other players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here

For those of you who think my Jenas-bashing is sounding like a broken record, I am proud to announce that this week I come to praise the man, not than bury him. Well alright, “praise” might be a little strong, but this is at least intended to be a mite more constructive than the usual tirade.

The sight of our hero lining up for England against Brazil last week may have been a touch bewildering (on the basis of which games exactly did Don Fabio make that particular selection?) but did not appear to produce anything particularly revelatory for us seasoned watchers. As self-appointed guardian of all that goes backwards and sideways, JJ’s approach did help retain possession, but offered little of value either in aiding attack or shielding defence (although I have noted and collected for posterity his tackle on Kaka. That’s Jermaine Jenas tackling Kaka. Cripes).

Jermaine Jenas is Actually Awesome Going Forward. Sort Of.

However, I am prepared to argue – or at least throw the idea out there – that when he finds himself in the right place he can be a handy man to have around. Drop the rotten tomatoes, just here me out. This wondrous “right place” of which I speak could be thought of as a small rectangle around 30 yards from goal. I jest ye not - give him the ball in this area, and he has the capacity to become a different beast. Rack your brains and you too may recall the occasional glimpse of potential he affords us from this position (admittedly, before he retreats again to wallow in the far more familiar surroundings of centre circle mediocrity).

I was reminded of this last week when he played against Brazil of all teams. On at least two occasions in the first half, he received the ball some 30 yards from goal, and rather than spin round and shirk all responsibility, his eyes positively lit up, and he embarked on a dribble towards the Brazilian area.

He’s got previous here too. In the 4-4 at the Emirates last season he threw caution to the wind in the dying stages, and galloped forward to score a peach of a goal. Against Pompey earlier this season, his burst into the area, while completely out of keeping with his other 89 minutes on the pitch, brought a pretty impressive assist for Defoe. Even when he came on as sub against Man Utd a couple of months back, he briefly appeared to be one of the few players with any attacking intent in the final third.

However…

Unfortunately, Jenas is not a great player because these moments of inspiration in the final third are so anomalous, and because he offers precious little else as a central midfielder. Most of the time he is the midfielder other teams would love to see lining up against them. He will do their job for them by slowing down his own high-speed counter-attack, giving all members of the opposition time to get back, regroup, discuss defensive strategy amongst themselves and prepare for the next phase of play. One can only imagine that he hears the volume, rather than the content of the vitriol from the stands every time this happens, and is thereby encouraged to repeat the exercise.

Yet for all his infuriating meandering around the halfway line, he does occasionally show some energy and inventiveness in the final third. He showed last week that when the mood grabs him he is capable of doing it against the best in the world; now wouldn’t it be just peachy if he decided to turn over a new leaf, starting with Wigan at home, and took that mentality into every game (or at least every home game)?

Elsewhere…

Before the weekend’s games kicked off we were fourth, which rocks, and exceeded AANP’s pre-season aim (top six, lest ye be interested). However, since Modders limped off stage left, performances have been rather scratchy, culminating in a good hour of the cursed long-ball last time out against Sunderland. Therefore, the modest wish-list from AANP Towers is simply that three points are garnered, by a healthy margin and in exhilarating, easy-on-the eye style.

The rumoured return to the side of Lennon would be a step in the right direction, but as ever, the focal point of pre-match chatter will be whether and how Keane will be accommodated. Results have gone our way so far this weekend, and Wigan at home (with all due respect) is a perfect opportunity to further those delusions of grandeur, which we have been nurturing so carefully this season.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the other players to be featured: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here