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Wigan – Spurs Preview: Nine Things I’d Like To See From Tottenham Today

Just picking an entirely arbitrary number, it’s AANP’s (by no means exhaustive) nine-point wish-list for this afternoon’s trip to Wigan…1. Same Old Same Old From Gomes


Watching l’Arse goalkeeper Lucas Fabianski pass his Three Stooges audition with flying colours this week gave a pleasant reminder that, for all our problems at the other end, between the sticks we are well-blessed. In generations to come AANP’s grandchildren will gather around and listen with disbelieving ears at tales of how calamitous Gomes was in his early days, but mercifully such an age is long passed.  The big Brazilian has been one of our best performers this season, and at the end of a week in which even such goalkeeping luminaries as Shay Given and Brad Friedel have erred rather prominently, it is good to know that our last line of defence is so secure. More of the same this afternoon please.2. Domineering Performance From Hudd

Whatever the varying opinions of his contributions, it is beyond dispute that Hudd is first-choice centre-midfielder – so let’s see him play like one. Every week. All the best players have occasional off-days, but the big lad’s are far too frequent. Wigan away might not necessarily be the jolliest of cake-walks, but a central midfielder at a top-four team ought to dominate such fare.

3. Score The Next Ruddy Penalty We Are Awarded 

4. Give Us Back Our Modric 

5. Law of the Ex 

6. Striking Alternative 

7. The Return of Lennnon 

8. Turn Up at Kick-Off 

9. Three Points

By hook, crook or penalties. Forget nine goals, just one more than the other lot will suffice. The momentum has disappeared from our season in the manner of a Jenas forward burst, pause, about-turn and backwards pass; but we are still very much in touch with the top-four chasers, and our current malady is nothing a little string of wins would not cure.

 

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, will be in shops from 6 March – but is available to pre-order now from Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith,Amazon , TescoWaterstones and Play 

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‘Arry at the January sales

With the honeymoon over, the side struggling and reinforcements seemingly needed in every position, all-action-no-plot casts a wary eye over a handful of ‘Arry’s (supposed) shopping list…

Stewart Downing (Left winger, ‘Boro, £8-£12 mil) – Yegads ‘Arry, don’t do it! I’ve only ever seen him play well once (Eng vs Germany). He’s naturally left-footed, and as such would balance our midfield, but so is our Welsh simian Gareth Bale. Save around £10 mil and give Bale a chance. And encourage the midfielders to get into the area before investing in another crosser…

Craig Bellamy (Striker, West Ham, £6 – £8 mill) – Wrote on this one yesterday, and my opinion hasn’t changed overnight. Good striker, but a walking asbo, who has never settled at a club due, presumably, to his penchant for attacking team-mates with golf clubs.

Shay Given (Goalkeeper, Newcastle, Maybe £3 mil?) – Tempting, but this is like heading to the supermarket when hungry, and consequently buying food you just don’t need. Gomes is doing fine at the moment.

Lassana Diarra (Defensive midfielder, Real Madrid, £20 mil) – Out of stock.

Jermaine Defoe (Striker, Pompey, £10 mil give or take) – Pompey may sell if the debt stories are true, and the lad certainly knows the route to goal, but ineligibility for Europe might be offputting. Can’t really see it happening, much as I’d love to.

Peter Crouch (Striker, Pompey, £10 mil give or take) – ‘Arry bought him at Pompey, and might be tempted by a goalscoring target-man. Again, ineligible for Europe.

Emile Heskey (Striker, Wigan, £3 mil or less, as his contract’s running down) – Hardly a proven goalscorer, but has, over the last 12 months shown an ability to hold up the ball and buy time for languid supporting midfielders to amble into the area. Exactly what we need then.

Matthew Upson (Centre-back, West Ham, £6 mil or so) Only likely if West Ham are forced into a Woollies-style closing-down sale. Their chairman is Icelandic, so this may indeed happen. With King and Woodgate falling apart, and Corluka ineligible in Europe, we could do with a reliable centre-back.

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