Just picking an entirely arbitrary number, it’s AANP’s (by no means exhaustive) nine-point wish-list for this afternoon’s trip to Wigan…
1. Same Old Same Old From Gomes
Watching l’Arse goalkeeper Lucas Fabianski pass his Three Stooges audition with flying colours this week gave a pleasant reminder that, for all our problems at the other end, between the sticks we are well-blessed. In generations to come AANP’s grandchildren will gather around and listen with disbelieving ears at tales of how calamitous Gomes was in his early days, but mercifully such an age is long passed. The big Brazilian has been one of our best performers this season, and at the end of a week in which even such goalkeeping luminaries as Shay Given and Brad Friedel have erred rather prominently, it is good to know that our last line of defence is so secure. More of the same this afternoon please.
2. Domineering Performance From Hudd
Whatever the varying opinions of his contributions, it is beyond dispute that Hudd is first-choice centre-midfielder – so let’s see him play like one. Every week. All the best players have occasional off-days, but the big lad’s are far too frequent. Wigan away might not necessarily be the jolliest of cake-walks, but a central midfielder at a top-four team ought to dominate such fare.
3. Score The Next Ruddy Penalty We Are Awarded
Even if Sandra herself steps up, for goodness’ sake show some confidence and bury the blasted thing. It has been damningly suggested in various quarters that our heroes’ lack of mettle from 12 yards is indicative of a broader mentality throughout the team, a mentality that decrees we fail to beat inferior teams and choke at the sight of fourth place.
4. Give Us Back Our Modric
He’s been a changed man since returning from injury. It is understandable I suppose, but there appears to be an added timidity, and he is being muscled out of games before he has a chance to shine.
5. Law of the Ex
Sergeant Wilson is up against his former employers today, which typically is a signal for the man in question to get on the scoresheet, but I think we would settle for a goalless-but-imperious performance from our much-loved pitbull. His snap appears to be returning, and although his distribution is more often than not awry the good is outweighing the bad once more. Should Wigan spoil for a fight today, Palacios is the man to whom we will look to return the punches.
6. Striking Alternative
They are decent enough, but the Crouch-Defoe partnership does not really have anyone leaping off their seat and shrieking with joy unconfined. Murmurs of Pav returning to the fold at some point over the next week may just be mischievous ‘Arry-talk, but the prospect of the Russian linking with Defoe has an exciting ring to it.
7. The Return of Lennnon
Whispers had suggested that he may be up and running at some point this afternoon, although it now seems another week on the sidelines beckons. Not to denigrate the efforts of D. Bentley Esquire, but the absence of Lennon has been rather keenly felt. As there is a danger that we may be attaching a smidgeon too much weight upon his tiny little shoulders, for the moment I am content with the modest assumption that his return will instantly transform us into a free-scoring, irrepressible, non-stop attacking juggernaut, on a par with Brazil 1970, set to embark upon a 10-game winning streak that comfortably ensures a top-four finish. (In much the same way as I assumed that the return from injury of Modders, a month or so ago, would have a similar impact.) Should Lennon return and prove himself to be anything less than a shaven-eyebrowed Messiah there will be some deeply-furrowed brows around AANP Towers.
8. Turn Up at Kick-Off
Not least to fulfil the Sky TV obligations, but it would also be jolly nice if our heroes got stuck in from the off. As fully-paid professionals, trained for nothing else since childhood, it strikes me as mildly curious that they need to be reminded of their duties at half-time (as last week at Bolton). Pick up where we left off last week and things should turn out just peachy, but another classic AWOL first-half from Tottenham could leave us in that oh-so-familiar position of having to hammer relentlessly at a ten-man defence before trudging home with tails between legs.
9. Three Points
By hook, crook or penalties. Forget nine goals, just one more than the other lot will suffice. The momentum has disappeared from our season in the manner of a Jenas forward burst, pause, about-turn and backwards pass; but we are still very much in touch with the top-four chasers, and our current malady is nothing a little string of wins would not cure.
AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, will be in shops from 6 March - but is available to pre-order now from Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play
You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here
And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here
Frustrating stuff. A couple of months ago I was fairly sanguine about points dropped at home, reasoning with sage, Yoda-like calm that as long as we kept playing well the goals and wins would eventually follow. Never folk to take decisive action if we could get away with thrusting our heads into the sand and waiting, we at AANP Towers reasoned that there was no need to panic - the problem would take care of itself.
Not so, it appears. Week after week we seem to turn in a strong performance but draw a blank, and as well as making for an unhappy trek down the High Road this is now beginning to derail the top-four push. The notion of turning White Hart Lane into a fortress seems to have been wildly misunderstood by our heroes, currently labouring under the misapprehension that it requires clean sheets for both sides. Future visitors to the Lane include Everton, Blackburn, Bolton and Pompey (as well as l’Arse and Chelski), and more ten-man lock-outs are on the agenda.
The team of monkeys here at AANP Towers has been hard at work brainstorming ideas as to what the devil we are doing wrong at the moment. And so, in no particular order…
Not Playing Good Football?
Mercifully we need not worry on this count. The standard of football remains high, the performance on Saturday varying between good and downright blinking excellent. Which leads me to wonder whether we need…
Luck?
I don’t subscribe to this view. Sometimes we get lucky (Bentley’s deflected free-kick against Fulham) and sometimes we don’t (Myhill’s heroics in goal for Hull) but failure to score at home to Wolves, Hull, Stoke and Villa is due to more than just bad luck. That said, on another day we might have been awarded a late penalty for the challenge on Defoe (although even if awarded I’m sure it would have been promptly saved).
A Different Forward-Line?
Controversial perhaps, as the problem seems to be that the opposition penalty area is just too darned crowded these days before we even get the ball to the front-two. Defoe’s raison d’être is simply to put the ball in the net when given a chance, and few are better at the art. Crouch has his limitations, but he had a decent enough game on Saturday, winning his fair share of headers and holding it up, giving us the option of the aerial route. As a combination, the pair work fairly well. However, I wouldn’t mind seeing Gudjohnsen given a chance to stretch his legs, and provide something a little different in attack, especially in those games in which the opposition back-line looks to have the measure of us.
A Dribbler?
C’est possible. A man who can produce a bit of trickery to take on two or three opponents might help to drag out of position those well-drilled defences that seem to be formed of row after row of resolute bodies. Whether we actually have any such player is a fresh problem. Taarabt and Giovani both had a few stepovers and nutmegs in their respective repertoires, but neither is around. Kranjcar occasionally gets his head down and weaves in and out, and as such is probably the best dribbler left at the club.
Lennon?
Bentley is doing a good job, but when it comes to Aaron Lennon, as that closely-cropped lady from the 80’s used to warble, nothing compares. For all the neat passing and technical ability, our team lacks pace. At the moment, opponents seem able to line themselves up in formation and repel. A burst of pace would help us actually get behind them and have a dig at their soft underbelly. Bale on the left gives glimpses of the panic this can cause in opposition ranks, always looking threatening when he hares down to the by-line.
Such hastily garnered suggestions are unlikely to go down in history as the footballing equivalent of neurosurgery, but are a selection of the wonderings swimming around the AANP mind. More pertinently, what solutions can ‘Arry provide? He may have assembled a coaching team to cover every eventuality, but, worryingly, after each shut-out he seems to repeat the same line, at least publicly, that he could not have asked any more of the players, and that they tried everything they could. Almost, one might suggest, as if he himself is out of ideas as to how to win these games. If only he had had a couple of capable and creative substitutes to whom he could have turned on Saturday…
A Grumble About Substitutes
It seemed a little strange that ‘Arry did not look to the bench for some fresh attacking inspiration. Retaining the on-pitch status quo would have made sense if all were going to plan and we were romping home, but circumstances rather strongly suggested that a case could have been made for a change or two. Each of Hudd, Modders and Bentley were performing fairly well without ever scything open the massed ranks of Villa defenders, yet Kranjcar and Gudjohnsen were left to twiddle their thumbs on the bench.
And while I’m having a grumble, here’s another point that struck me on Saturday - our ratio of goals-scored-from-corners to corners-taken must be appalling. The statistic, whatever it is, is all the worse for the fact that we have a whole army of big, sturdy six-footers marching forward for each corner these days.
Elsewhere On The Pitch
An honourable mention to Gomes, now one of the finest ‘keepers around. A cracking double-save in the first half crowned yet another solid all-round performance, secure on crosses and always keen to prompt attacks hastily. Sergeant Wilson showed again that his bite seems to be returning, but his doings when actually in possession remain erratic. There was also another good showing from the handsome young Welshman on the left on Saturday, doing all that was required defensively as well as offering his usual potency in attack.
So yet again we have to rely this week upon other sides to do us favours. Hull, unbelievably, obliged, turning over Man City, but Liverpool have, for this weekend at least, capitalised upon our failing. I still cannot see Villa lasting the pace in the race for fourth. Utterly bereft of attacking ideas, it seems the principal reason they remain in the hunt at present is their goalkeeper, the ever-magnificent Brad Friedel. However, we ought to be capable of stringing together a run of wins that would render academic the form of our rivals. A draw against Villa, while disappointing, is not calamitous, and the blow would be softened by a few consecutive wins in future weeks.
AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out in early March and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play
You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here
And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here
