All Action, No Plot

And so begins our biggest week since the last great big important week we had. Two wins from the upcoming three games? The feeling here at AANP Towers is that we’re certainly capable of winning at least one of the two home games against l’Arse and Chelski, and with one Aaron Lennon due for return at some point this week this really could tee us up for a ruddy marvellous finale to the season.

First things first however, and frankly it would take quite a monumental effort from our heroes to fail to make the FA Cup Final from this position. Admittedly Tottenham Hotspur FC has quite an eye-catching history when it comes to un-winning the most winnable of contests, and FA Cup Semi-Final complacency is not unknown around these parts (see 1995 name-on-the-Cup, Klinsmann, Everton and all that) but even at my most pessimistic I can only envisage us churning out a sloppy first half, prompting ‘Arry’s twitch to go into overdrive at the break and our lot upping their game sufficiently in the second half.

Portsmouth are falling apart at the seams, and were unable even to bring a full squad of 18 players to the Lane a couple of weeks ago. While I sympathise with their off-field plight (as Best Man to a Pompey fan that’s pretty much in my contract), today is a day for kicking them while they’re down. The official company line is that there are no easy games, and Pompey will certainly apply themselves with a darned sight more commitment than in the League meeting a couple of weeks ago, but for all their willing we should have more than enough quality, particularly going forward.

Team Selection

The usual headaches apply to selection, particularly in defence. The absences of Kaboul and Walker would hardly be lamented if we were at full-strength, but with Daws, Corluka and, most curiously, Ledley all due for late fitness tests it is still possible that the likes of Palacios or Livermore may be shunted into the back-four, with BAE switching to ad hoc right-back. Hudd (I think) is an absentee; Lennon is not yet match-fit; and Portsmouth are no doubt quaking in their boots at the news that Jenas is also undergoing a late fitness test.

The outlook is far rosier going forward. All four strikers are match-fit, and we have the usual array of string-pullers from which to choose going forward. ‘Tis this abundance of attacking riches which provides the main grounds for optimism. Cup upsets happen, but if Pompey’s ramshackle bunch of reserves and kids can repel the combined might of Defoe, Pav, Crouch, Gudjohnsen, Bale, Modders, Kranjcar and Bentley for an hour and a half then they each deserve knighthoods.

Having recently held a public training session for supporters, our heroes have no doubt been informed that failure to win today will result in them being marched out in front of supporters and publicly flogged. AANP’s wish-list is straightforward – a win, by whatever means, and no mention of Sergeant Wilson’s name in the referee’s little black book. Enjoy the day-out.

Gary Mabbutt will be signing copies of AANP book Spurs’ Cult Heroes for the masses on the following dates:
Waterstones Stevenage - Saturday 24 April, 12 noon;
Waterstones Walthamstow - Saturday 8 May, 1pm

Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play). 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

A Cup quarter-final, under the floodlights and in front of a jam-packed White Hart Lane – if that doesn’t get your juices flowing my friend you’re probably better off at the Emirates. The Star Wars theme that greets the players as they amble out each week may not be everyone’s particular brand of cognac, but pre kick-off it certainly makes the hairs on the back of the AANP neck stand to attention, and by the time it blares out this evening I suspect I’ll be bouncing off the walls and ready to kill someone with my bare hands.

With any luck the eleven in lilywhite will be similarly frenzied come 8pm. The omens are fairly encouraging - in our recent League double-header against Fulham we worked hard for a goalless draw on their patch, and then comfortably beat them 2-0 at the Lane barely a month later. A slice of nice meaty déjà-vu would go down nicely tonight.

Team News

For all our injury problems our starting eleven is still fairly imposing. Sergeant Wilson will be restored to midfield tonight; Gudjohnsen has served notice that he is now up to speed; and Saturday even saw BAE make a rare but highly effective foray behind enemy lines. If I may be a little greedy I would quite like to see more goals, or even just efforts on goal, from Modders, but the recent strict diet of victories gives little room for genuine complaint.

Ye gods be praised, as it looks as if reinforcements are finally arriving. Hudd and Bentley might be back in contention, and even if they do not swan straight back into the starting line-up I’ll be exhaling in relief merely at the sight of them snuggling up on those comfy seats in the dug-out. While it is positive to see Livermore, Townsend et al mingling with the first team superstars, if we are hit by further injuries or even just tired legs, it will be reassuring to gaze around and behold chaps of the ilk of Bentley and Hudd stretching their multi-million pound limbs on their sidelines.  

Fulham: Abusive To Old Ladies

I fancy us to win this, as do the bookies, but complacency will be banned from the premises given that Fulham dealt out a right thumping to (an admittedly ten-man) Juve last week. Form is temporary and class permanent, according to the adage, but whatever the explanation Bobby Zamora is playing like a man who has been eating his greens. He has been a handful against us on a couple of occasions already this season, and let’s face it, our lot hardly relish having to face these big burly chaps, all elbows, backsides and upper-body strength. I suspect that Sebastien Bassong earns more in a week than I do in a year, but I will happily dispense with envy tonight if he merits the full pay-packet tonight and keeps Zamora under lock and key.

These things don’t always go to plan, but if our heroes blow this opportunity I might never forgive them. It ought not to come to that. Everybody will be singing, when the Spurs go marching on.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).

All are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

So, it’s once more unto the breach, for the new season is upon us. The friendlies are done, fantasy league teams picked – all that’s left is for AANP Towers to rustle up a list of top ten aims for season 2009-10, and then we can get cracking…

1. European Qualification

Top six, or a trophy. Or both. The bookies make us sixth favourites for the title, and sixth spot is an aim that straddles the divide between “ambitious” and “realistic”. In more private confines we may peer hopefully towards fourth spot, particularly given the sales made by Wenger this summer, but there will be tough competition for that, from City, Villa and Everton as well as l’Arse. However, we ought to finish above a couple of those. Given the squad we now boast, and the absence of European distraction, anything less than Europa League qualification would be a disappointment.

2. 50 Goals From The Strikers

During the halcyon 2006-07 season under Martin Jol (blessed be his name) Berba, Keane and Defoe bagged over 60 goals between them, and we netted around 100 in all competitions. This time around, 20 goals from Defoe, and 30 from the combo of Keane, Crouch and Pav, ought to guarantee that we’ll be pushing for European qualification. Would be nice if Modders, Lennon and Jenas could target five each as well.

3. Avoid Long-Ball Overkill

The signing of Crouch undoubtedly gives us something we previously lacked - a pressure-release for when we’re under the cosh, and generally the option of an aerial presence (I still am not convinced that the gangly one possesses sufficient heading prowess to be labelled an aerial “threat”, so “presence” will have to do for now). However, as if often the case with England, just having him in the team can lead to long-ball overkill from his team-mates and there was the oocasional worrying sign of an all-too-hasty resort to the long-ball in Crouch’s 45 mins vs Olympiakos. While Modric is probably smart enough to avoid this unless necessary, I don’t trust the others to resist the lazy over-use of the long-ball to the beanpole.

It was mighty strange to behold, but the second half of last season saw us become watertight at the back. Consistency of selection appeared to be the key, as a back-four of BAE, Woodgate, King and Corluka picked itself just about every week, while behind them Gomes grew in confidence. Clean sheet upon clean sheet provided a most apt platform for a slew of one-nil wins, which propelled us from relegation worriers to European hopefuls. More of the same this season would be jolly handy, as we appear to have sufficient fire-power to score against just about anyone.

5. Four-Four Draws

Not necessarily a wish that makes any sense, given the clean-sheets request immediately above, but 4-4 draws are my guilty pleasure. Nothing says all-action-no-plot like an eight-goal thriller – and nobody does these better than Spurs. Based on the premise that we will presumably drop points at some stage this season, I hope that when we do so it’s in the form of a 4-4 draw.

6. A Song For Jenas

Possibly one at which you will raise an eyebrow, as seasoned all-action-no-plotters will be aware that the lad is not exactly a favourite at this establishment. Indeed, he has become such a scapegoat in my eyes that every time I stub my toe or miss a bus, I find myself automatically blaming him. Nevertheless, he deserves our backing. He tries his socks off week in, week out; and in his absence we often lack a midfielder bursting forward into the area. Few things in life are as infuriating as watching the King of the Sideways/Backwards Pass bringing a swift counter-attack to a grinding halt with several unnecessary touches and a short pass back towards the defence, but I have started to wonder if this might be because he lacks that Ronaldo-esque arrogance to be more adventurous. Being one of the few players in the team without his own song cannot exactly help the blighter’s confidence, so I hereby declare that I would join in an ode to JJ, albeit through slightly gritted teeth.

7. Look After Modric And Palacios Like Our Lives Depend On It

Our squad is looking impressive this season, with a couple of players competing in every position. However, Modric and Palacios are simply a class above, and as such are irreplaceable. They may miss the odd game suspended or with a minor injury, but we cannot afford for either of them to miss a six-game stretch. Not selling them this summer was a positive move; now we have to do everything in our power to keep them happy and healthy. Whatever they demand we ought to provide for them, and great lengths must be taken to avoid so much as a bee sting befalling them. If either of them get injured on international duty I’ll blinking well kill someone with my bare hands.

8. Hudd and O’ Hara to Come of Age

A big season for both. Being a young player with potential is one thing; but actually fulfilling that promise is another, and the target for both Hudd and O’ Hara this season ought to be to push on and nail down a regular spot in the starting XI. For the Hudd this means adding more energy and bite, and bossing games more frequently; for O’ Hara it means complementing his attitude and work-rate with greater finesse (if they were combined into one they would form one heck of a player). There is no guarantee that either will achieve this. It’s a step too far for some (see Gardner, and perhaps even Jenas), but a move made with aplomb by others (eg Ledley). Both players have their unswerving apologists and unrelenting critics, so perhaps the litmus test will be in the identity of the teams courting their services next summer – Villa, Everton, Liverpool; or Fulham, Sunderland, West Ham?

9. Give The Kids A Chance

Mightily pleasing to see Livermore, Rose, Bostock and Obika given opportunities to mix it with the first-team in pre-season, and one would hope that with seven substitutes per game, one or two of these will get some Premiership minutes under their belts before they start shaving. While it is unrealistic to expect all of them to make the grade, it would be nice to see one or two graduate from our youth team, as only O’ Hara and Ledley seem to have done in recent years. However, as has been noted in several quarters, should we make a bad start ‘Arry will not dare throw in the kids, whereas if we begin the season well he may not want to jeopardise things by giving youth its head. Time will tell.

10. Keep Ledley Fit

The stats generally show that we win more games with Ledley than without, but no abacus is necessary to see the talent of the guy. He simply mops up trouble with bundles of class and minimal fuss. If there is a silver lining from our failure to qualify for Europe last season, it is the reduced number of games, and no-one should benefit more from this than Ledley. With a spot of luck, and plenty of cotton wool in which to wrap him between games, he might be fit on a weekend-to-weekend basis, which would be absolutely ruddy marvellous. But keep him the hell away from the liquor.

11. More Insane Transfer Rumours

Admittedly I am now rather stretching the definition of a top ten, but these ridiculous rumours make me laugh. Last season we had Jenas to Inter, and Zokora to Real. Now it’s Bale to AC Milan. Balderdash, but hilarious, and I hope for more of it this season.

Spurs’ Cult Heroes
Final opinions sought on the top 20 Spurs Cult Heroes - players who achieved legendary status amongst us fans for what they did at the club. The majority pick themselves, but still some debate over the final few – Waddle? Teddy? Gilzean? White? Freund? Conn? Lineker? Burkinshaw? Have a read here, and voice your opinion.

Ahoy-hoy. You may have noticed an eerie silence descending over AANP Towers in the last fortnight. Apologies – ‘twas initially intended as no more than a short break for an All-Action Stag Weekend (the impressive casualty list including A&E for the stag, a broken limb, a black eye, two lost phones, one lost wallet and a lost passport). It then morphed seamlessly into a full-blown two-week period of plain bone idleness on my part, at least in the world of Tottenham ruminations. All revved up now though, and with plenty about which to report, which makes a pleasant change this summer.

Do-Do-Do Didier

By golly I wouldn’t buy a used car from Daniel Levy. After astonishingly wringing 20 million from Liverpool last summer for Robbie Keane, he’s been at it again this summer, somehow extracting over 8 million from Sevilla for do-do-do Didier. There may be some caveat about compensation from the Wendy Ramos era thrown in, but you can tip it upside down and spin it around, and it will not make the blindest bit of difference – however you look at it, 8 million plus for Zokora is cracking business for us. Especially as, at 28, he was hardly likely to improve.

Plenty has already been said about Zokora’s departure on other corners of the interweb, and the consensus – that he was a headless chicken – is one with which I agree. His time in lilywhite was epitomised, for me, by his moment at the end of the 2008 Carling Cup Final – the adventurous dash forward, crowned by wild flailing shots when he sighted goal. His energetic style ought to make him a success in La Liga, where the game is typically a mite slower. A likeable enough chap, but the good folk of AANP Towers are not particularly bothered to see him go.

That is not meant to sound harsh, for Zokora was certainly committed to the Tottenham cause - which we all appreciated. It is more that the departure of players, even those for whom I feel great affinity, no longer bothers me, for such is the nature of the game. As a crestfallen whippersnapper, I desperately tried to maintain a stiff upper lip when Dogtanian waved goodbye to his parents and set off to seek his fame and fortune. The incident taught me a valuable lesson: that people in all walks of life - be they colleagues, animated Muskehounds or favoured footballers – inevitably move on, no matter how much they are cherished. Zokora was never a player I cherished particularly, and I therefore greet his departure with little more than a blasé shrug. Zokora was Premiership standard and Palacios is Champions League, so the business done in 2009 represents progress for Spurs.

Gunter to Forest

While applauding Levy’s gumption at prising 8 mil out of Sevilla for the mental Ivorian, I am decidedly less thrilled by the £1.75 million sale of Chris Gunter to Forest. Admittedly he hardly set the world alight in his handful of appearances for us in his 18-months Spurs career. Admittedly, also, he was a long way down the list of right-backs which we have been assiduously collecting over the last year or two.

Still, unlike Zokora, Gunter is young enough to improve. As such it would have made some sense to loan him out for another year, or at least collect a fee which reflected his potential for improvement.

This is hardly a cause that will instil in me the urge to make a placard, yell into a megaphone and upturn parked cars, but it certainly had me raising a surprised eyebrow.

Downing to Villa – Huzzah!

Kill the fatted calf and pop yer champagne corks – this has been a lucky escape. Bizarrely, it might even end up with Ashley Young cutting in from the left and ending up at the Lane (which would complete some truly awful business on Aston Villa’s part).

Football is Back – Huzzah!

Wimbledon was diverting, the Ponting-baiting in the Ashes is entertaining, but the most vigorous thigh-slapping at AANP Towers this summer has been reserved for the return of proper football. There is nothing to be read into the perfunctory 3-0 wins over lower-league opposition, but such games at least ease the players back to sharpness. On which note, good to see Defoe looking primed. As I am fond of remarking, he may not be the complete striker, but his talent for shooting hard and on target is a precious commodity, and it was in evidence against Bournemouth on Friday.

Cheers too for the inclusion in the starting line-up vs Exeter of Danny Rose. While I accept that one Under-21 starlet does not a Busby Babes team make, we are nevertheless verging on notoriety for our reluctance to blood home-grown youth, so Rose’s presence in the first starting XI of the pre-season rather warmed the AANP cockles. He’s an exciting prospect, and I sincerely hope that one or two from Rose, Bostock, Obika, Livermore et al at least become regulars on our bench this season. Polite applause also for the disco feet shown from Livermore in setting up Defoe’s goal from Bournemouth.

Jeers, however, for the pairing of Keane and Defoe as our front-two for the Exeter game. Really? Is that the best strike pairing ‘Arry could muster of after a whole summer’s thought?

Crouch? Ye Gads No!

Actually, on reflection, let’s stick with Keane and Defoe. Few players polarise opinion like Peter Crouch, and here at AANP Towers we are very firmly the anti- brigade. Decent on the ground, but pretty poor in the air, he inevitably, although through no real fault of his own, tends to encourage an unhealthy long-ball tendency amongst those behind him.

(Interestingly, I last season heard either Graham Taylor or David Pleat mention on the radio that Crouch’s general uselessness in the air is due to the fact that, as an elongated teen, he rarely had to jump to win headers, and therefore never really worked his lower back, to develop a Les Ferdinand-esque leaping ability.)

AANP’s famous Who Would Buy Him? technique for gauging a player’s quality is already being implemented, with Sunderland and Fulham trying to lasso him. Champions League he ain’t, yet he is one of the few players in whom ‘Arry has gone on record to report interest this summer. I would rather persist with Pav, and have Obika on hand as our fourth striker.