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Spurs match reports

Swansea 1-2 Spurs: Vertonghen’s Pipe & The Blessed Return of Lennon

On a scale of Bothersome to Tickety-Boo this result is Quite the Cheeky Restorative, what? All rather frantic and wince-inducing by 16.50 GMT for sure, but ‘twas ever thus in the land of Mighty Hotspurs Seeing Things Through to The Closing Credits, and whichever way you dilute, swill, gargle and spit it out a 2-1 away win is a 2-1 away win, and for that we can dashed well click our heels.

Vertonghen: Golly

Goodness only knows quite what stuffing is going into the Vertonghen pipe these days, but by jove it is putting more than just a spring in his step. Headed goals are one thing, and the controlled volley against Liverpool was particularly adept for someone who is ostensibly a centre-back – but the control and finish for his latest masterpiece did not have me leaping from the seat so much as examining him suspiciously for signs that this was in fact Master Bale donning a remarkably convincing all-in-one, full-size Central Defender costume for a happy chum’s stag weekend. Apparently not however; this is indeed Vertonghen, and he really does show more composure and élan in front of goal than most English centre-forwards in a tournament squad. On top of which, he continues to carry out the day-job, of defensive elbow-grease, with the sort of class not seen in the less savoury aspects of life since Alan Rickman informed an awestruck public that he must have missed 60 Minutes. Dawson has his fans, and rightly so, but at AANP Towers we are donning party hats and pouring Twiglets into a bowl in preparation for the day when Vertonghen is paired with Monsier Kaboul, and the very definition of “Central Defensive Thunderblitz” is written anew.

Elsewhere on the Pitch

Naturally enough, Bale had his cape securely fastened too, another absurdly high-quality strike accompanied by the usual bevy of stirring gallops from the halfway line. And this on what was somehow one of his quieter days.

One suspects we will be one heck of a team once supplemented with a striker who cares two hoots, but until then we must solider on with Adebayor. By contrast Dembele had a good irrepressible air about him, particularly in the first half, and pretty much all of them showed commendable eagerness to beaver away when not in possession in the opening half hour, but probably the most notable difference from the flounderings of recent weeks is that everyone seems simply to know what they are supposed to be doing when Lennon is back on the right, even if he goes 30 minutes without touching the thing.

(And if you pardon me dusting off the AANP anorak, at one point in proceedings I was struck by the observation that for all the left-footers in the team – and there are quite a few now – neither our left-back nor left midfielder/winger were that way inclined. Just an idle musing, neither here nor there.)

For around 30 glorious first half minutes our heroes were jolly well imperious, and two goals was a quite appropriate reward. Thereafter, as with the win against l’Arse a few weeks back, we dropped deeper and cut things a little too fine for the liking of those with an urge to go a few more years before worrying about coronary grumblings, but it is nevertheless vaguely encouraging that by and large these days we hold out until the end.

All of Which Means…

Just a few weeks ago the Top Four appeared to be ours for the taking, but one dodgy Anfield back-pass later and our heroes had wobbled rather drastically off the yellow-brick road. This good race still has a few yards to run, but some degree of order appears to have been restored (again, I humbly direct thee towards Exhibit A in the form of Lennon and his jazz-hands), so I think we all breathe a little easier for now. Happy Easter.

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Spurs preview

Sunderland – Spurs Preview: How Many Aaron Lennons Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Just the one Aaron Lennon – he holds the bulb and the universe revolves around him, n’est ce pas? Not to cast aspersions on the young blighter’s character you understand, he seems a most charming young fish (now with added maturity – witness the disappearance of his go-faster diagonals in his eyebrows). The crux of the matter is of course the balance he adds to the progressive part of our team, not to mention the fact that he jolly well adds the final piece to a quite jaw-dropping six-part smorgasbord of attacking delights in lilywhite.

With two games in three days there is fairly slim chance of Lennon and his paper-thin hamstrings appearing – and then rapidly disappearing in a puff of dust and blur of heels – both today and on Monday, so there arises ‘Arry’s first conundrum, while the other usual decisions loom large – VDV or Saha, Ledley or Gallas (that this question even arises is reflective of these changing times), two or three in the centre et cetera. Whatever the options, the facts are that a lip-smacking, eminently winnable final eight games is now well upon us. Wins, wins and yet more wins will almost certainly propel us above that ‘orrible lot down the road (who this weekend are entertaining Man City). If ever there were a diem to be carped, this is it.

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Spurs preview

Werder Bremen – Spurs Preview: An Awesome 5-A-Side Team

Even observing from across the Atlantic, AANP is well aware of the worrying signs that, for all the cheer and merriment created by our Champions League qualification, our heroes are doing a dashed good impression of a pack of mutts who have bitten off more than they can chew. I’m not quite sure how tiredness can be a factor so early in the season, particularly as many of the players had an international break, but there has been a sluggishness to our recent league form, and the forthcoming glut of CL games is unlikely to freshen up any of our heroes.

Still, we can worry about all that on Saturday. Playing in the Champions League cures all known ills, and there is probably no better way to drag the players out of their stupor than to parade them in the front of the cameras to the soundtrack of the CL theme tune and 36,000 braying lilywhites in the stands.

4-4-1-1 Again. Huzzah!

“Da more I interact with humans, da more I learn.”

So drawled Arnie in Terminator 2, undoubtedly the greatest film ever to grace the AANP Towers cinema reel, and our very own glorious leader is demonstrating a similar capacity to modify his behaviour in reaction to external circumstances. In such a manner was the 4-4-1-1 birthed, and as our heroes will be gambolling across foreign soil today, the designated away formation will be unleashed upon an unsuspecting world once again. After Saturday’s periodically abysmal draw at West Brom confidence will be sky high amongst ‘Arry, Joe Jordan and chums that 4-4-1-1 will make us kings of Europe, and providing that Werder Bremen are no better than the WBA we should be absolutely fine.

Alas, our absentee list would make quite some 5-a-side team, with Gomes, Daws, Defoe and potentially Modders all staring forlornly from the sidelines, but the prospect of Ledley returning to the fold always soothes the savage beasts here at AANP Towers.

The addition of van der Vaart to our ranks reinforces the notion that our side is positively teeming with potential match-winners, and between them I fancy Bale, Kranjcar, Lennon, VDV, Hudd , Pav et al to grab a goal or two. However, this is no ordinary club competition, this is the Champions League – and with such power comes great responsibility, particularly at the back, where dubious defensive lapses will be magnified and punished. A point would represent a fine night’s work – on present form dare we hope for even more?

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Spurs preview

Spurs – Fulham Preview: Cue The Star Wars Theme Music

A Cup quarter-final, under the floodlights and in front of a jam-packed White Hart Lane – if that doesn’t get your juices flowing my friend you’re probably better off at the Emirates. The Star Wars theme that greets the players as they amble out each week may not be everyone’s particular brand of cognac, but pre kick-off it certainly makes the hairs on the back of the AANP neck stand to attention, and by the time it blares out this evening I suspect I’ll be bouncing off the walls and ready to kill someone with my bare hands.With any luck the eleven in lilywhite will be similarly frenzied come 8pm. The omens are fairly encouraging – in our recent League double-header against Fulham we worked hard for a goalless draw on their patch, and then comfortably beat them 2-0 at the Lane barely a month later. A slice of nice meaty déjà-vu would go down nicely tonight.

Team News 

Ye gods be praised, as it looks as if reinforcements are finally arriving. Hudd and Bentley might be back in contention, and even if they do not swan straight back into the starting line-up I’ll be exhaling in relief merely at the sight of them snuggling up on those comfy seats in the dug-out. While it is positive to see Livermore, Townsend et al mingling with the first team superstars, if we are hit by further injuries or even just tired legs, it will be reassuring to gaze around and behold chaps of the ilk of Bentley and Hudd stretching their multi-million pound limbs on their sidelines.  

Fulham: Abusive To Old Ladies

I fancy us to win this, as do the bookies, but complacency will be banned from the premises given that Fulham dealt out a right thumping to (an admittedly ten-man) Juve last week. Form is temporary and class permanent, according to the adage, but whatever the explanation Bobby Zamora is playing like a man who has been eating his greens. He has been a handful against us on a couple of occasions already this season, and let’s face it, our lot hardly relish having to face these big burly chaps, all elbows, backsides and upper-body strength. I suspect that Sebastien Bassong earns more in a week than I do in a year, but I will happily dispense with envy tonight if he merits the full pay-packet tonight and keeps Zamora under lock and key.

These things don’t always go to plan, but if our heroes blow this opportunity I might never forgive them. It ought not to come to that. Everybody will be singing, when the Spurs go marching on.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play). 

All are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson. 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

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Spurs match reports

Fulham 0-0 Spurs: Tottenham’s Going To Do It Again

Well I would have settled for a draw beforehand – that it was such a memorable, high-octane, pulsating spectacle of a game was a bonus. As against Bolton in the last round, the AANP view is that our opponents have blown their best chance of victory by failing to beat us on their own patch. Back at the Lane and under the floodlights I fancy us to come out on top, injuries permitting. Fulham at home and Pompey at Wembley in order to make the FA Cup Final? Now there’s a thought…

A Good Day For Bullies

It’s not big and it’s not clever, but it appears that sometimes bullies finish first. Sergeant Wilson refused to let anyone have their way, and spent his 90 minutes ruining things for any Fulham player who came near him; while for the other lot, Bobby Zamora made himself a complete pain from start to finish. The well-behaved kids, like Modders, didn’t stand a chance. Too nice by half, our Luka was given the opportunity to boss things from central midfield, but again gave reason to conclude that he is best deployed as a left midfielder, drifting infield and linking with an overlapping full-back.

A Nagging Worry

There remains a nagging frustration here at AANP Towers that the central midfield berth remains an area for improvement generally. I humbly suggest that Hudd needs to offer more than just his passing-range; and less humbly decree Jenas a lost cause; while as we saw yesterday Modders does not appear to have the requisite muscle and feistiness for the role. Until the end of the season we will have to plough on with the resources we have, but come the summer I fervently hope that we beg, steal or borrow a top-notch, attack-minded central midfielder. Admittedly there are precious few of them out there, and ‘Arry will probably just persist with Hudd, but to become a Champions League-standard team we need a midfielder who can run the show.

Bale’s Midfield Adventure

Back to yesterday’s game, about which many a sage has ventured that a draw seemed about right. Our heroes started fairly well, but by golly the Fulham defence was well-organised, and within about fifteen minutes I had already started mentally clearing the diary for the replay date. The game became a little more stretched in the second half, with Fulham hitting upon the novel idea of trying to win the thing, and Gomes was called upon to go leaping around once or twice, but the closest thing to a goal was probably Corluka’s coronary-inducing slashed clearance in the dying embers of the game, which drifted horrifyingly close to his own net.

As ever, all that was best from our lot came from the ever-wondrous size nines of Gareth Bale. Worries that his creative juices might be sapped by his new midfield role proved fairly unfounded, as he increasingly became our default attack option – the only man capable of getting behind the Fulham defence, frequently drawing two opponents towards him and occasionally also haring infield. I’m not sure too many women want him, or too many men want to be him, but I have a healthy dose of man-love for the guy, and sincerely hope that his every whim is indulged by those in authority at the Lane, to ensure he remains in lilywhite for years to come. Every now and then I allow myself to drift off and imagine how ruddy unstoppable we might be with Bale pelting down one flank and a fit-again Aaron Lennon on the other…

Elsewhere On The Pitch

Less impressive were our two full-backs. Assou-Ekotto was a little too casual at times, while not for the first time Corluka’s distribution was rather wayward. Bassong however probably deserves a nod of approval, for sticking manfully to his Zamora-containment duties throughout, a blinking hard task by the look of it.

The Crouch-Pav pairing did not really have me slapping my thigh and ordering champagne. There was huffing and puffing a-plenty up-front, but not too many clear-cut chances amidst the suffocating line of Fulham defenders.

So a replay it will be. We may yet rue failure to capitalise upon the absence of Danny Murphy in the Fulham ranks, and there is also the very ominous possibility that injury or suspension might deplete our midfield further; but as things stand we are jolly well-placed to reach the FA Cup Final.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).

All are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

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Spurs match reports

Wigan 0-3 Spurs: How Delightfully Un-Tottenham

Well we can postpone work on those “Sack ‘Arry” placards for the time-being at least. With a maturity that even they themselves probably did not realise they possessed our heroes adapted to the conditions better than the other lot, made better chances and saw out the game with consummate professionalism. While I braced myself for a late bout of insanity from someone or other, the players abandoned an age-old Tottenham tradition and instead navigated through to the end without any scares.The pitch hardly made for champagne football, and for a while it looked like our lot were under orders to bypass the mud by pinging long balls at every opportunity, but to their credit they persevered with the passing game as much as the conditions allowed. (Before Modders came and made it look like he was playing on a bowling-green.)

As well as their use of the ball and acclimatisation to the conditions, the willingness to roll up sleeves, slide through the mud and fight the attritional war was also most gratifying (in theory at least, although Messrs Defoe and Bale adopted dangerously dubious interpretations of the notion of “getting stuck in”). While we did not necessarily always win those 50-50 balls, neither did we look like we would shirk the challenges. Top marks, chaps.

The Opening Goal

I suspect even objective Wigan fans would admit that we were good value for the win, but there is no denying that the first goal went miles beyond the boundary of “fortuitous”, and ensconced itself comfortably in the world of the downright absurd. While Bale’s charge down the left merits thumping applause, Defoe had, as ever, clearly jumped the gun. He did at least have the grace to look suitably embarrassed by it all.

C’est la vie. Statistics may suggest otherwise, but AANP is of the train of thought that these things loosely even out over a season, and we have certainly been hard done by in recent weeks (off the top of my head Defoe’s disallowed goal against Liverpool, and penalty shout against Villa, in recent weeks). Moreover, for all the controversy surrounding it the opening goal did not make a huge difference to the general pattern of the game, throughout which manful efforts to plough through the quagmire were achieved better by our lot than theirs.

However, there is a counter-argument that that opening goal was crucial for us inasmuch as that breaking the deadlock has become something of a mental barrier for us in recent weeks. Time and again we have played well but failed to get that all-important first goal, with the result that we have ended up battering away at a ten-man defence. On Sunday, through outrageous officiating we found ourselves ahead – and were then able to play against a team forced to edge out towards us. Wigan did not exactly come at us all guns blazing, but nor were they able to pile bodies into defence. As a result, particularly in the second half, our forwards found themselves man-to-man against a defender, rather than facing two banks of four.

Triffic Substitutions 

Pav: Super

He is evidently a popular little bunny amongst his team-mates, but ‘Arry did not exactly look thrilled to bits with Pav’s little cameo, the camera close-up straight after the third goal capturing a particularly morose expression across the face of our glorious leader. However, there is now no avoiding the fact that our head honcho has a selection dilemma. An inspired twenty minutes as substitute is one thing, but can Pav produce the goods on a regular basis? Does he only play like that against weaker teams? How would he fare if given a regular run in a settled side (I discount the Wendy Ramos era in which he featured as not constituting “a settled side”)? Would he and Defoe work as a combo?

Such questions are unanswered at present, but he looked mighty darned classy on Sunday, the contrast with his gangling strike partner neatly emphasised when he scored precisely the sort of chance Crouch had missed moments earlier. Not many tears would be shed if the lanky one were dropped to the bench and Pav given a starting-berth alongside Defoe for a few games. Crouch is a jack of various trades but master of none, and the time might be right to lock him in a cage labelled “Plan B”.

Corluka: Not So Super 

All told however, it was a staggeringly professional display. Solid in defence; determined and creative as necessary in midfield; sharp in attack. That’s three consecutive halves of good football from our lot – so for one week at least the Prophets of Doom have courteously shuffled aside, to let the Top-Four Delusionalists make themselves heard.

 

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, will be in shops from 6 March – but is available to pre-order now from Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith,Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play 

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories – and browse those of others – regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

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Randomonium

New kit unveiled for All Action No Plot

The more eagle-eyed of you may have noticed that All-Action-No-Plot looks a tad different. Unfortunately the early indications are that as new kits go this isn’t really in the league of that cracking ’91 Cup Final Umbro effort. In a desperate attempt to justify it I’ll claim that this shiny-new-yet-bland page now resembles our 125th anniversary home kit from last season – plain white, traditional and by no means a cynical money-making ploy, honest. Plus, that kit eventually won a trophy, so who knows where this site might one day go…? Fear ye not though, these lilywhite pages will continue to burst at the seams with copious amounts of action, whilst containing not even the merest traces of plot…