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"AANP - nobody knows what it means, but it's provocative."

Spurs 1-1 Stoke: The Pointless Meandering of Bale, & Other Grumbles

Full-blown, undiluted apoplexy does not translate particularly smoothly into the written word, so ‘tis perhaps just as well that after a good night’s sleep and couple of early morning whiskies AANP is now in slightly more philosophical mood than at the final whistle last night, when the denizens of the South Stand took time out from making rude gestures at the Stoke fans to stare in horror and cover the ears of the nearest small child while I emitted an unmistakeable, loud tut. Accompanied, I’ll have you know, by a shake of the head that had been brewing from nigh on the first whistle of the evening.Mercifully, a degree of perspective has settled upon me in the alcohol-fuelled haze. I recall now that on perusing the fixture list a few weeks back, Stoke at home and Chelski away appeared the trickiest of the remaining engagements. With the ilk of Norwich, QPR et al to come thereafter, a slightly cheerier sequence of results beckons – to which end a point against Stoke might not be so bad in the final analysis.

By Golly Last Night’s Proceedings Did Make The Blood Boil Nevertheless

Still smarting from their ludicrous victory over us earlier in the season, my expectations for our esteemed guests were lower than the belly of a particularly depressed rattlesnake, and sure enough their goalkeeper began his time-wasting routine over goal-kicks in the very first minute. After which, they adopted an admittedly well-drilled 9-0-1 formation and bedded in, adding nothing of value to the lives of anyone in the stadium, and pausing only to catapult the ball Crouch-wards. Little wonder that their unfortunate fans include a rugby song in their repertoire.

As for our lot, the usual concerns wearily paraded themselves. Despite creating our last two goals from the left wing, and generally looking like he had the beating of their right-back whenever it took his fancy, Bale was again allowed to spend his time meandering fairly pointlessly wherever the dickens he liked, as long as it posed minimal attacking threat. The memory of his burst through the centre against Norwich several months back has faded; his urges to go central should now be the exception rather than the rule.

On t’other flank the absence of Lennon continues to have ‘Arry et al scratching their heads and staring blankly at the teamsheet. Niko Kranjcar was the beneficiary of the pre-game coin toss to decide who begins on the right, but appeared to be labouring under the burden of an invisible elephant strapped to his back throughout his 45 minutes. Slower and less interested by the game, he seems hell-bent on bidding us “Dovi?enja??” come the season’s end, and has now even slipped behind Ms AANP on my list of favourite Croats. The ignominy.

‘Arry’s England Credentials To The Fore Once Again 

Inspired by this cunning tactical nous, our lot invested oodles of huffing, puffing, corners that failed to clear the first man and ultimately a general mentality of frenzied panic, the combination of which at least rescued a point. However, with possession apparently in excess of 70%, and the usual two dozen attempts on goal, it ought to have been more. Most frustrating, and now that blasted lot from down the road are crowing once again. Time for another whisky methinks.

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Published in Thursday, March 22nd, 2012, at 5:29 pm, and filed under Spurs news.

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64 Responses

  1. DAVSPURS Says:

    At the moment i feel like there is a plot for us to finish 5th with all kinds of scenarios running round my brain. Harry kind of gave us a hint when he said some of the players looked tired and our passing was sloppy, The main culprits where Bale Modric Harry’s tactic Saha looked lost upfront on his own, Lets tackle the tactics from Harry what must Jermain Defoe think when a man aged thirty four and just been signed plays upfront on his own it begs believe when he has played with Ady and Defoe in his few games. I truly think Harry is either going to Chelsea or England and he is picking his teams in a way that will get us 5th why take a striker of and replace him with a winger we had no height has it was. Mr Bale was on fire and he could have sat in the stands and still looked good then Barcelona started tapping just like they did with Fabrigas getting in his head . Then every time a defender went near him he dived on the floor and he said he was protecting his career this was a genuine reason because of his Ankle and back problem he had last year has left him a bit fragile and this is why he is wandering in to the middle away from side on tackles that damaged his ankle last season an the one before. My question is this is young Bale protecting his Ankles for Barcelona or our battle for third. Mr Modric has not signed his new contract and spurned Levey’s extra cash because he wanted to no what Harry was doing and now he noes he is missing sitters passing to the other side losing the ball and looking like he wants us to finish 5th so he can say i want champs football Chelsea or Utd beckon. Ady was flying smiling tipping us for the league then Harry said i would love to sign him but he would have to drop his wages we cant afford his salary. This was a great way of getting him to commit to our third now his ex club have passed us he has gone awal with the old chesnut Hammy strain his goals have dried up not one headed goal yet he was mustered at Arsenal and Madrid against us. Where he ends up is anyones guess Chelsea City Liverpool Arsenal whoever pays is wages so you see all these players have very good reasons for us not staying in the top four Harry Modric Bale Ady they all have better offers waiting its just persuading Mr Levey to let them go cheaper than he would if we had champions league on the table Ady is not ours any way. To lose a 13 point lead from January is staggering to see Arsenal turn into Barcelona with a defense smaller and lighter than any in the premiership is even more staggering all starting when they where 2-0 down and out they went in drawing and came out winners what the hell Wenger said needs bottling and handed to Harry who said our team has lost its way. He should try getting his head out of the FAs Office Harry because your ruining our best season for years its easier to leave your wife if she hates you and you hate her her and its starting to work in Davspurs mind.COYS WAKE UP Chelsea have they sacked there inexperience Manager Arsenals Manager is not going to be France. Our Manager is leaving so dump Harry Bond put Allen Joe Les and Sherwood in Charge drop Modric Ady and Bale install Rose Defoe Coulibaly play this team Cudicini or Gomes when fit Kaboul King Galas Ekotto Walker Van Parker Lennon Defoe Saha subs Bale Modric Livermore Ady Friedel Nelson Coulibaly. Lets hope for all of us you in the tower and our great fans iam horrible wrong.

  2. SiberiaSpur Says:

    “They’re a hard side to break down” is another of ‘Arry’s chestnuts I’m tiring of. Yes we know – but as a (recently) top 3 side we’re supposed to be able to do just that. The lack of width is getting serious – at one point Modders had the ball centrally and looked up to see Bale, Defoe, VDV and Saha all within a 10 yard circle – waiting. Crazy. Do we think Bale has refused stay on the left? It’s SO obvious that he’s more effective there that something must be going on.

  3. . Says:

    Seems like Bale is currently in his Jazz Odyssey phase, when in reality we just need Lennon’s jazz hands.

    And Play Sandro!

  4. Caterham7 Says:

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