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Everton 2-1 Spurs: “Don’t Panic” – The New “Audere Est Facere”

Hmmm. And flying forward in attack at every opportunity, in gung-ho and open manner, irrespective of who we were playing, where we playing and whether or not we were even in possession of the ball, had seemed like such a fool-proof plan. After all, if 2010 taught us anything it is surely that no matter how many we concede we will always score more? A plan of tactical genius, it could not possibly fail. Ever.Curses then upon those dastardly Everton rotters, who cunningly hit upon the idea of doing exactly the same thing to us, and making merry in the various yawning gaps we carelessly left strewn around Goodison Park.

Today’s Mantra

Still, Spurs fans the world over seem to have spent the day pointedly barking the mantra “No need to panic. You hear me? DON’T PANIC!” at anyone within earshot. We all seem to be agreed that there is no need to make wholesale personnel changes or sack anyone.  Actually, it appears that the instant reaction to defeat will be to sell Robbie Keane, but ‘unless ‘Arry is scarily impulsive I think it safe to assume that this is just circumstance. Perspective is being maintained. Give Gareth Bale a vigorous back-rub, maybe let a couple of them sit out the Cup game at the weekend and I suspect we will emerge from our 45-minute rut in tip-top form once more.

Nevertheless, having approached kick-off with the usual gleeful hand-rub of optimism this was mighty disappointing. The buoyancy of successive clean sheets was instantly destroyed as Gomes was caught staring in disbelief at Louis Saha’s quite astonishing hair, rather than focusing on the ball, during the opening exchanges. He can hardly be blamed, for everything about Saha’s mop defies the rules of normality, leaving him looking like someone has planted foliage atop his head, left it to wither and die and then produced some malevolent spell to turn it the most lurid orange.

However, there has not been any stage this season at which conceding a goal has been a cause for concern amongst our heroes, and sure enough we were level in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Part Two of the plan duly followed, when one of our lot went off injured, but Part Three (Winning Goal) bafflingly failed to materialise, as the steam just seemed to drain from their legs, with composure following swiftly from their heads.

Cause For Cheer: VDV

As ever, VDV gave us plenty about which to smile, but watching him attempt overhead volleys from 30 yards got me chewing over a chicken-and-egg style quandary of what came first: the Dutchman’s insistence that he will only score if it is spectacular, or Pav’s insistence that he will only score if it is spectacular. VDV spent much of the game seeking out new and ever more acrobatic means of peppering Everton’s goal, but alas when a fairly straightforward – if rather sharp – chance fell his way, from short range in the second half, he could do no better than stab it straight at Tim Howard. Oh that the chance had instead been presented to him at shoulder height, when he had his back to goal, somewhere near the halfway line. His disallowed goal was also eye-catching (naturally), but alas, being neither a Man Utd player nor Thierry Henry the benefit of the doubt was not forthcoming.

Perhaps Not Such A Great Cause For Cheer: Crouch

Meanwhile Crouch worked diligently to make our heads explode with another quandary, as we tried to decide whether he should have all his pointy limbs hacked off, dumped in a sack with a slab of concrete and thrown out to sea, as his punishment for plumbing new depths of ineptitude; or whether he should be cherished and adored for the rather specific but nevertheless valuable talent of setting up VDV with uncanny regularity. It ain’t pretty (a comment that could comfortably apply to Crouch’s every movement, ever, but which in this instance applies in particular to the thrashing of the orb heavenwards for Crouch to do his thing and VDV then to do his thing) but it is darned effective.

So cherish and adore him we did, briefly. And yet only moments earlier, towering buffon that he can be, he still managed to demonstrate that knack of aiming a fairly straightforward headed chance anywhere but the goal, before hurtling into an offside position for that late first-half chance. After which he tried to kick himself, but missed. And then grinned about it.

Elsewhere On (And Off) The Pitch

The selection of Jenas over Sergeant Wilson took me by surprise, particularly away from home, when a modicum of restraint might have been deemed reasonable, but it is easy to suggest these things in hindsight. In truth, alas, Jenas’ was one of several fairly anonymous performances, the roll of dishonour also including Lennon, BAE and Kranjcar.

The frustration of the evening was compounded by the opportunity missed, due to points dropped by our cursed rivals, as well as the realisation that the draw against Chelski a couple of weeks back probably constitutes two points lost, rather than one gained. Curses and rude words for sure, but it is hardly a season-destroying result, for who amongst you doubts that our heroes will return in a blaze of attacking glory?

8 Responses

  1. therumourman Says:

    Well i warned you Cinderfuckinrella Everton would be a different team to the one West Brom banged four past and stoke beat 2-0. They even surprised Moyes. The poor fucker has not got a clue why they suddenly started playing even the medical right of who looks like a ginger sponge Biscuit looked full of it and his team mates. You need to now this at the towers ANNP. The North is full of energy and its spreading when it gets to us Huddlestone will look like Fellani Gomes will save them two easy goals and evemn Keano and Crouchie will score. Till then upsets like Everton Wigan Bolton will all get massive praise for beating a tired injury hit team. Keep the Faith God noes its Hard being a Spurs but Worth Waiting for the Good Times when they come. COYS.

  2. TMWNN Says:

    Redknapp needs to take a lot of the blame for this performance – poor team selection and subs.

    Going to Everton without one defensive midfielder is asking for it, quite frankly, it’s idiotic.

    Gomes is becoming a worry too.

  3. JOHN ADAM Says:

    I agree. Team selection was not good and no substitution was done when it really mattered..Our midfield was weak and this is why we were dominated by a determined Everton who looked more eager to win than us. I also agree that Gomes is a worry. He is a good goalkeeper but unfortunately erratic

  4. Matt84 Says:

    Top article, on the money there. Gomes said it himself, which is a fact of football. A solid and consistent back 5, along with clinical finishing are the two most important in a top top team. The examples from history are there. Last season Gomes, Bass/THE KING, Daws and Benny were solid and consistent for huge chunks of the season. And despite what Defoe doubters may believe, we have missed him terribly this season. Crouch, shame, but not “top class”.

    How disgracefully rude was Hansen regarding Benny….

  5. ad Says:

    yh i thought hanson was well harsh too. benny had bad game but he made out he’s a terrible player, which is wrong. benny needs another LB for competition and no, bale doesn’t count.

  6. siberiaspur Says:

    Hopefully ‘Arry will heed the wake-up call. You can’t keep wheeling out the same formation without the league getting wise to it. We have a big enough squad to keep people guessing. I hate to even mention Man U but Fergie throws out a different look every game – and guess what they’re un-beaten and top of the pile.

  7. JimmyG2 Says:

    Rotation needs to be a gently practised art to keep all the squad match and attitude fit.
    Against Charlton it looks as if we will have a day out for the subs, as we disastrously did in the Carling Cup against Arsenal.
    Substitution and tactics are Harry’s Achilles heel and because of the quality of the squad we succeed despite it.
    Harry out? Most certainly not. We are doing very well but we are not yet top of the league and by no means certain even to make top four.
    What aint perfect can be improved.
    Harry’s failure to rotate may catch up with us over a 60 game season.

  8. GIBSONCorine32 Says:

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