All Action, No Plot

Tottenham Hotspur – latest news, opinion, reports, previews, transfers, gossip, rants… from one bewildered fan
"AANP - nobody knows what it means, but it's provocative."

Inter 4-3 Spurs: So Who Was Your Man Of The Match?

Just another standard Tottenham game then. There ought to be some sort of internet tool or iPhone app that takes regular football phenomena and instantly turns them into the all-action-no-plot, Tottenham Hotspur equivalent. Take a  dour goalless draw in Italy (à la Liverpool against Napoli last night), give it the Tottenham treatment and hey presto – you have yourself a mental 4-3 defeat.

Déjà vu

To go three goals down in the blink of an eye on one occasion may be considered unfortunate, but twice is just plain careless. Having failed to learn the lesson of Young Boys, we dug an even bigger hole for ourselves against the Considerably Older, Wiser and More Technically Adept Boys of Inter.

Maybe our heroes just like a challenge. Over-awed and over-respectful, the poor lambs seemed unsure whether they needed permission to approach the European champions, who understandably enough between them made the executive decision to tear us to pieces.

Even by our madcap standards, four-nil and a man down at half-time, to the European champions, was a bit excessive. The barrage of text message abuse from gleeful chums was to be expected, but when Ray Winstone popped up in his gambling advert at half-time to bark that the latest odds were appearing on my screen, the sight of a 7-0 Inter win at 12/1 really did have me fearing the worst. I’m not sure I have ever felt so aghast and helpless as when watching that first half carnage unfold.

A degree of credit then to our lot, for bucking themselves up a tad in the second half. Although Inter undoubtedly took their foot off the gas, we nevertheless showed attacking intent in the second half, committing men forward rather than looking solely for damage limitation options. The goals were admittedly were the product of individual genius rather than any orchestrated team effort, but the second half attitude was nevertheless vaguely comforting, particularly with just the ten men (and bereft of our entire spine too – Gomes, Ledley, Daws, Modders, VDV and Defoe all absent for one reason or another for most of the game).

Man of the Match Contenders

Lennon looked lively. Cudicini made a couple of decent saves.

(I jest).

Gareth Bale

Living tissue over metal endoskeleton. Having quite possibly warmed up by destroying an entire police force on his own, he then carried out the most single-handed dismantling of a team I have ever witnessed. Only a cybernetic organism would race the length of the pitch, against the European champions, hit the bottom corner, spin round, show no emotion and sprint back to halfway – then do exactly the same thing again. I’m just glad he’s been sent here to protect us, rather than kill us.

If we need any further incentive to make the top four again it’s Bale. The secret is well and truly out now – the entire blinking continent knows about him. Iif he does not play Champions League football regularly he won’t hang around in our lovely little corner of North London. I expect that at 21 (sickening, isn’t it?), a seeming good egg and having just signed a new contract, he will stay next season, just to see how we toddle along. However, failure to push on from our current position and he’ll be out the N17 exits faster than you can say “By jove he’s just decimated the European Cup-holders single-handedly – again”.

Elsewhere On The Pitch

Neither Bassong nor Gallas looked quite up to the challenge – but then pairing these two against Inter Milan at the San Siro was not really the plan. At the start of the season we wouild have pencilled Ledley and Dawson for nights like this, with Gallas and Bassong to help out as required against Blackpool and the like. Much though we love audacious attacking talent here at AANP Towers, we have to admit that the need for a top-notch defensive type is becoming increasingly pressing. As is the need for a 4-5-1 forward. ‘Twas not Crouch’s finest hour.

Jenas is an odd little fish. At fault in the very first minute for stopping to examine his nails while Zanetti went charging into the area unmarked to score, I howled with anguish when he remained on pitch and Modders was withdrawn, after the red card. Thereafter however, the Lord of All Things Sideways and Backwards showed the type of attacking intent we have been screaming at him to produce for nigh-on ten seasons. He did not by any means boss the game, but more often than not (at least in the second half) he looked to push forward and create something. It is the sort of thing he only ever normally does against l’Arse. And now he’s done it against Inter Milan too. Perplexing.

Not for the first time BAE deserved a slap on the wrist. While it is hardly appropriate to single out any particular individual for the first half debacle, his snoozing effectively cost us a red card and a goal, and that carelessness occurs far too often for my liking sonny.

On the bright side however, the second half performance far exceeded anything for which we might have hoped. Indeed, the draw between Bremen and Twente leaves us mightily well-placed, which I don’t think was a conclusion anyone was nearing at half-time. Defeat at the San Siro was to be expected (albeit not in quite such mind-boggling fashion); but with 10 points the target and three games left, two of which are at the Lane, progression looks eminently attainable.

Info & Utils

Published in Friday, October 22nd, 2010, at 5:35 pm, and filed under Spurs match reports.

Do it youself: Digg it!Save on del.icio.usMake a trackback.

Previous text: .

Next text: .

6 Responses

  1. Mal Says:

    Definitely Gomes. Quality sliding tackle in the opening minutes

  2. Melvyn Says:

    Funny article,things can only get better,we were missing a few,I still think we will get through to the knockout stages,come on you spurs.

  3. N17 Says:

    Man of the match? hmm difficult.. Was O’Hara playing?

  4. davspurs Says:

    There is no one person who was man of the match all the players wgere manful in the second half.Balewasthe best player but his mates where with him all the way and the refs whistle one or two mins to early or at least one min helped Inter from embarrassing finish. William Gallas was not fit but Harry had no choice but to play him the defence is the foundation of any good team and at the moment ours is crumbling with bad cementing .This word meanscement means a bonding agent that help to make a safe fooundation and we are mixing to many pairing to work has a unit Hutton and Ekotto both get sucked out of position . Huddlestone missed a tackle but he would not be there if Gallas and Bassong where not so shaky Harry willhave to stopusing King from the start and stick with the same defence so thy work has a unit not one of them put Inter players offside at the start .There first goal and the penalty could have bean avoided if both centre backs moved up has a unit. Etoes goal looked to me offside and the Italins tv never showed the right angle only Itv did once. I said on blogs Bale should have played in Vans place and i also said he could play upfront imagine him just taking on the centre halfs they could not double up on him. This game could help us in future if we go behind this could make us feel we are never beat.One word about Rooney its funny he changed his mind when 39 nut cases where outside his house and death threats daubed on his Agents wall. I think this shoes fan power is taking over Footballers power or he promised Bale in January and Modric or Van Bollocks get the gang ready all action big gang

  5. Ashley J. Collie Says:

    Tottenham, the drama queens of English football! Got to love it! And, bless his yiddo heart but what is “davspurs” on, can we get some, and what language is he speaking?

  6. Lora20Sargent Says:

    When you’re in a not good position and have no money to move out from that, you would need to receive the home loans. Just because that would aid you for sure. I get small business loan every single year and feel myself good because of that.

All Action, No Plot © 2010. Theme Squared created by Rodrigo Ghedin.