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Everton 0-3 Spurs: Five Lilywhite Conclusions

After the anti-climactic Wembley jollies, and general head-scratching of the transfer window, this was a welcome return to that which we all know and love, what?
1. Eriksen
Anyone brazen enough to argue against Eriksen being Man of the Match would need to produce a fairly ripping sort of body of evidence. The young bean was at the peak of his powers, managing to roll through a range of party tricks – from deft flicks to incisive first-time passes – without ever giving the impression that he were some sort of mere show-pony or luxury item.
Must be something to do with the way he marries dreamy technique with a workrate that is right up there with all those alpha-males referred to, I believe, as “elite athletes”. Frankly just the sight of Eriksen scurrying indefatigably that way and this is enough to make me want to lie down in the AANP hammock and splash myself a whisky, but I rather suspect that if the whistle did not blow on these things he would still be dashing around chasing things today.
Admittedly Everton hardly beset him on all sides with challenges and whatnot, seemingly preferring instead the rather optimistic approach of leaving his arrest in the hands of Mother Nature. Since she was in no such mood, Eriksen was free to dictate the thing with wild and gay abandon, and even chipping in with a poacher’s goal. The whole team purred, and Eriksen was the preeminent vocal chord.
2. Sissoko

Master Sissoko, however, was a decidedly different kettle of fish. In truth, I am not entirely sure what to make of his performance yesterday, because it was quite the assault on one’s senses.
The poor blighter is frequently pilloried – and I’ll issue a swift mea culpa here and be done with it, because within these four walls we have rarely hesitated to greet his work with a heartfelt yowl of despair.
Yesterday, on the other hand… Well, where to begin? The chap certainly was not lacking in effort, that much is for sure. And in a sense, one can well understand why he was brought into the fold a year ago, and why even now, 12 inauspicious months later, our glorious leader opts to start him, in central midfield of all things. With vast limbs barely under control, advancing in a ball of energy, he absolutely resembles the queen alien from Aliens in particularly irate mood – and who the dickens would want that galloping at them at full pelt? The Everton players facing him were pretty much diving for cover.
Oh that there would be an end-product to complement all that unstoppable stuff that goes before. Yesterday was very nearly the day, as it happened, for he certainly had his opportunities. The first half close-range effort was hit meatily enough, but blocked by a blue leg; the second half flying header was delivered with all the power of a runaway steam engine, but alas, the compass was wildly awry.
And then, in another ball of limbs, the poor egg’s afternoon was over, with some sort of muscle strain, which is rotten luck. Should someone, somehow ever refine those rough edges he could be one heck of a player. Moreover, every now and then one suspects that all the little nuts and bolts will fall into place and he will deliver an absolutely irresistible belter of a performance that will elevate him to cult hero status. By and large however, I suspect that yesterday and all its nearlys, cocooned in limb after uncontrollable limb, will pretty much epitomise the lilywhite career of Sissoko.
3. Davies
It seems a rather dreary prospect to switch from Sissoko’s mesmerising limb-flails to neat little Ben Davies, a man who a chum once described as having the world’s most boring haircut, but Davies was another who delivered a jolly effective performance yesterday.
And not for the first time either, which is pretty darned handy given the unfortunate bobbins that Danny Rose has been spouting to amuse himself. Once again aided by the generosity of the Everton mob, who preferred to sit back and assess rather than thunder in and challenge, Davies was quite the useful outlet, putting the “wing” into “wing-back” at every opportunity, and setting up approximately 1.5 goals in the process. Made at least one notable defensive interception too, which was a handy box to tick.
4. Davinson Sanchez
Another chap you would not particularly want to see haring down in your direction, I suspect. Not a flawless performance, but decent enough for his first start, and he seemed to navigate his way around a brand new back-three without too many problems. One suspects that this could be the start of something wonderful. Beast-like, and wonderful.
5. Lloris’ latest clanger
Everton certainly did not ever look like carving us open, so to jimmy things along a tad Monsieur Lloris took to feeding them an open goal, on a plate. They missed, naturally, but still – this rot needs to stop, n’est ce pas? A couple of months ago Lloris was doing something similar for France, and the mess he made of Chelski’s late winner a few weeks ago was not his first faux pas in lilywhite.
I would never dream of labelling him anything other than a near-deity between the sticks, but these embarrassed coughs at his little concentration lapses really ought to stop now.
So good times rolleth once more. Wembley might once again throw spanners into every available works in the coming week or so, but away wins at a newly-promoted side on the opening day of the season, and then an Everton side widely lauded for making a slew of tasty signings, suggests that our heroes are, broadly, fighting the good fight in the right sort of way.

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2 replies on “Everton 0-3 Spurs: Five Lilywhite Conclusions”

A football article should not be written like a Shakespearean act. That was boring, difficult to comprehend and honestly, a waste of time, that forced me to comment.

I’miss off to Wembley and hoped you might spread the word.

I’m taking a navy blue sheet to cover our seats with as I can’t be doing sitting on anything red…..

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