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Spurs Reserves – By Far The Greatest Team The World Has Ever Seen. Honest.

The official Spurs website is astonishing, a propaganda machine almost Orwellian in its slant on life. On tottenhamhotspur.com the sun always shines, the good guys always win and there is no third-world poverty. In fact, there’s probably no third-world at all, in this planet of fuzzy smiles and merry unicorns. There is just White Hart Lane and the Spurs Megastore, in which FIRST TEAM PLAYERS make GUEST APPEARANCES (fans please note – only two pieces of memorabilia per person may be presented for autographs).Earlier this week Spurs reserves beat Chelski reserves, and our official club website practically wet itself with excitement. I say Spurs “reserves”, but this was not the usual selection of earnest young kids who will eventually be shunted off on loan to Orient before being tossed aside on free transfers without getting a sniff of the first team because we’re too busy blowing £14 squillion on some sub-standard midfielder from Middlesbrough.

No, this reserves team consisted largely of our subs bench from the last couple of weeks. Chimbonda, Bale, Hudd, Bentley, Pav, Campbell (with a guest appearance from Rocha, who not only is still alive, but is still, apparently, making a living as a footballer).

An objective observer might regard the 4-0 win (by our multi-million pound team, against a Chelski XI featuring such luminaries as Ofori-Twumasi, Ahamed and van Aanholt) as perhaps not such an amazing feat. Not that this minor detail – the truth – was going to stand in the way of whichever crazed zealot is in charge of tottenhamhotspur.com.

However, whilst deciphering the newspeak I raised an unhappy eyebrow at some of the finer details of our GLORIOUS WIN – for two of the goals were scored by young Fraizer Campbell.

Campbell in the Reserves: The Case Against 

But the reserves? That should be the place for our own, permanently-contracted players, to get up to speed. For example, playing Campbell meant denying a chance to young Obika, who looked rough around the edges but pretty darned promising on debut vs Shakhtar a few weeks back. The reserve game vs Chelski, in which the result really did not matter, would have been a great chance for Obika to learn alongside Pav, Hudd et al. Instead, a Man Utd striker, for whom we have little further use, was given the full 90 minutes. I’m typing this with just one hand, because with the other I have made a small clenched fist of displeasure. Not full-blown rage, but definite displeasure.

“? ???? ????????” 

However, I can’t help feeling that Pav, Bentley and Hudd would have muttered sullenly under their breath when informed of team selection for this game. When Pav was banging them in for the Ruskis in the shop window of Euro 2008, he would not have been dreaming of a Monday night reserve game in an empty Leyton Orient stadium. Leaves me wondering what the Russian is for “transfer request”. Google translate might have the answer, because tottenhamhotspur.com sure as hell won’t.

It’s the flip-side of having a (relatively) settled first XI which is producing decent results. The non-starters, while together comprising a mighty fine (and expensive) subs’ bench, will get little more action than ignominious reserve games. No matter how ecstatic the reaction of tottenhamhotspur.com, I don’t think those guys will be too chuffed about it, and the exit door could therefore see a lot of activity come the summer.

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Published in Wednesday, March 18th, 2009, at 11:47 am, and filed under Spurs rants.

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11 Responses

  1. Wanstar Says:

    Why don’t you just fuck off mate!!
    What a pointless fucking article!!

  2. Jeremy Says:

    Really Wanstar. I thought it was a pretty good article. Vivid and well written. he does make some really good points. Especially about players like Obika. Nice article mate. However, it is only a good one if you are a spurs fan lol

  3. Phil Brooks Says:

    Wanstar… so the article was so pointless, that you a) spent time reading it, and then b) spent time replying to it (and might i add in an eloquent fashion, i noted a budding wildean streak trying to get out there)..

    so either read this spurs blog, or don’t. but reading it just to mouth off.. lame…

    i enjoyed it…

  4. Mark Says:

    Great article, and spot on. Our website is full of propogana and our club is full of mugs who know nothing.

    But then again we knew this already!!

  5. Kieron Says:

    Good article, I haven’t ever understood the decision to take Campbell on loan without the view to buy. If he had this option then great, let the lad gain some experience at our expense. But as this is not the case we should blood our own youth!

  6. Dutchspur Says:

    I hardly ever go to the official site these day’s for precisely the reasons stated so eloquently in the article. The sun always shines at WHL no matter what the circumstances might be! For me it was a good move to allow the squad players to get a bit of action in the reserve game against Chelski. They need match fitness and putting in effort over a 90 minute period is far more intense than strutting around all day on the training ground.

  7. Miserable Sods Says:

    I read it and felt compelled to write and say that YOU are the sort of dickheads that boo players. Fuck off and support arsenal, then you can whinge and moan that you’re fourth.

    fucking idiots.

  8. Phantom Chevalier Says:

    It seems you are suffering the fallout of the tottenhamhotspur.com sunshine policy. With the propaganda make benefit glorious club spurs feeding blinkered idiots en masse you now have the thought police on your back impotently chastising any critical and realistic debate you bring forth. Perhaps it is time to revolt against this state of affairs.

    Good article as always. I’m sure ‘Arry will welcome the chance to balance the ‘scary’ squad he has inherited.

  9. REAL SPURS FAN Says:

    UP THE SPURS WE’LL FACKING HAMMER CHELSKI AND WHICHEVER OTHER CAAAHNTS CROSS US NEXT. PAVS IS BETTER THAN DROGBA AND BENTLEY IS BETTER THAN THAT FAT CAAAAHNT LAMPARD. SPURS BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD

    COYS COYS COYS

  10. Bimmi Says:

    hmmmm… yep spot on about the propaganda machine..

    your last paragraph leaves me slightly worried..

    worried that this summer we’ll do exactly as we did last summer and sell players we think we don’t need (Steed, Chimbo, Tainio)

    Pavs and Bentley would fall into this category at the moment.. i still think that with the right service Pav can be an absolute goal machine..not the greatest player ever, not by a long shot but whenever he’s got even a sniff of a chance, he’s stuck it away..

    hope we hold on to him anyway.. Bentley too..

  11. SherrieParsons24 Says:

    I took my first mortgage loans when I was a teenager and this helped me very much. However, I need the collateral loan again.

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