All Action, No Plot

Tottenham Hotspur – latest news, opinion, reports, previews, transfers, gossip, rants… from one bewildered fan
"AANP - nobody knows what it means, but it's provocative."

Villa – Spurs Preview: A Thoroughly Unreasonable Hatred

Been looking forward to this one for ages. Perhaps a bit of an odd choice for a grudge match, but I have been developing, over the last year or two, an intense hatred of Villa. It has gone almost unnoticed for months, but after a recent glance at the fixture list it all suddenly burst out in a torrent of completely unreasonable incandescence.Admittedly they’re not l’Arse – ironically actually, a win for us tomorrow would do a favour for that ‘orrible lot – or Chelski or West Ham. Can’t even point to narcissistic, persecution-complexed fans, as with Newcastle or Liverpool.

However, once the idea popped into my head it gained momentum, sped out of control and now has a life of its own. I hate Villa. I absolutely loathe them.

The reason? They’ve stolen our thunder. They’ve usurped us. Challenging the top four? Pushing for a Champions League spot? Spine of young English players? Those are our trademarks. We did all the groundwork for this. Just a couple of years ago, pushing the top-four was our exclusive territory.

Yet now, no-one remembers us – they just bleat on about how good it is for the Premiership that Villa are muscling in on the top four. It’s like inventing the paper clip and then seeing someone else patent it and run off with the money. That’s exactly what it’s like. So you can easily imagine the level of ire I now feel.

I guess a modern-day Freud would diagnose this, as with most of my gripes about Spurs, as a failure to step out of the glorious bygone era of Martin Jol (blessed be his name). The all-action-no-plot goal-fests, the scintillating one-touch counter-attacks, the English-speaking changing-rooms – and the fact that it actually brought us results. It was a perfect platform for us, to expand the elite into a top five. It was supposed to be the end of our perennial underachievement. I still haven’t quite accepted that we failed to push on, that the whole empire crumbled in a blitz of inflated transfer fees and bumbling Darren Bents.

So now we find ourselves back where we’ve been most of my life – mid-table mediocrity, with the occasional Cup run and very firmly rooted within this sceptr’d isle, with no need for a passport to mainland Europe.

Instead, it’s Villa who’ve run off and sold our paper-clips. Villa, with their ridiculous colours and odious, smug little manager. Worse, since I’m in a minority of one on this point, I’ve just had to stew in a corner silently, for months on end, muttering sotto voce curses and glaring at the league table.

As we clearly aren’t going to overtake them this season, the only solution is to vent some rage and deal them a bloody nose this afternoon. It will carry the same satisfaction as beating up the lad who stole your girlfriend. Not big, not clever, won’t win back the girl – but nevertheless, in a pathetic way it will make me feel a little better about life.

On a more reasonable level, this game will also provide a pretty good gauge of where we are, given the current confusion of whether we’re still in a relegation scrap or actually pushing for seventh.

Friedel is one of the finest ‘keepers in the land, while in the last couple of years I’ve undergone a Pauline-like conversion to Heskeyism. He may not be able to score if he visited a brothel, kicked out every other punter and then signed the deeds for the place, but he has a majestic ability to treasure the ball, occupy defenders and involve his chums. In the various areas of grass between these two players I have to admit, between gritted teeth, that that darned English spine has a combo of guile in Barry, and oodles of pace in Young and Agbonlahor.

A good test for us without a doubt, and a pointer for next season (sigh – how depressing to waive this campaign, in mid-March, and already peer towards next season). We’ve honed the baffling skill of matching the top-four, yet we are frequently out-scrapped by the rubbish thud-and-blunder bunch around the drop-zone. The only true gauge of our standard therefore seems to be Villa and Everton.

Info & Utils

Published in Sunday, March 15th, 2009, at 12:44 am, and filed under Spurs preview.

Tags: ,

Do it youself: Digg it!Save on del.icio.usMake a trackback.

Previous text: .

Next text: .

19 Responses

  1. name Says:

    “they just bleat on about how good it is for the Premiership that Villa are muscling in on the top four.”

    Who has said this?

    Certainly not the media. They want the status quo forever. Journalism is a vile profession!

  2. Bazmundo Says:

    “Journalism is a vile profession!”

    How would you know… I take it you refuse to buy their sordid stories?

    or are you a hypocryte?

    Anyway… great read, well written and I think I want my girlfriend back.

  3. Luvdavilla Says:

    What an arrogant Pr%ck

  4. Pat Says:

    Found this site on newsNow. This day, and only this day, I will be cheering for you horrible lot against Villa ;p. Make it nasty. Dominate them and win 5-1, I don’t care. Just get the win so we could be pals for 90 minutes, not longer. Come on you Spurs!!!

  5. Luvdavilla Says:

    Its nice to see spurs and arsenhole fans (Pat Says} finally becoming best of friends.. Nice

  6. patisatwat Says:

    erm ok, i think what it actually all stems from is that spurs are, in a nutshell, a barrell of monkey spunk who will forever be a team going nowhere, who have a judas manager and a joke of a setup to always maintain them as one of the lesser london clubs. every spurs fan i ever met is a cock, not a cockney, just a cock and i sincerely hope you wake up and realise were you not a london club run by a bunch of jews, you’d be in league one by now. Villa are there on merit, and while we are sputtering out at the end of the season, we’re going the right way, I really hope that redknapp gets a pound coin on his noggin tomorrow instead of a 50p

  7. Travellingsouth Says:

    Reply to Patisatwat

    You are the biggest cunt I have ever read on any footie blog and I support Villa

  8. Patisatwat says what? Says:

    Firstly, I don’t think you can hate Villa or Martin O’neill when they (however unlikely) can knock Arsenal out of next year’s CL with a bunch of very talented English players, playing some lovely football. That is utterly insane and against the grain of being a Spurs fan.

    Secondly, I always thought Aston Villa fans were a relatively nice bunch? This tyranical, vitriloic, racist and ignorant volley of abuse spouted by Patisatwat concerns me greatly. Perhaps he is so sensitive to the blog, which essentially amounts to nothing more than petty jealousy, that he feels the need to be so abusive. Grow up sir.

  9. Martin Banks Says:

    As a Villa fan, you may expect me to be offended and spout out insults at you, but that’s nah. Fair play to you mate. Not for hating us, but for being man enough to admit that you hate us through jealousy.

    I’d never thought of it from your point of view. We HAVE stolen your thunder. We HAVE done it your way. Non-football fans would see it as a way for us two sets of fans to come together and say “Hey I like your style” but this is football and it rarely works like that. If it was the other way round, then I spose I may have it in for Spurs.

    I have no hatred for you though, so provided you lose today, all the best for the rest of the season.

    Mart

  10. Bruce Grove Says:

    So you hate the Villa because they are now doing what we were doing under Jol while we are fighting the drop. Thats a bit like having your house repossed then hating the bloke who moves into it next as if it was him who couldnt keep up with the payments isnt it?

    Spurs fans never appear to agree on these things, but in my opinion if we had stuck with Jol instead of humilliating him before hiring a man who couldnt speak English and retaining a director of football who spunked our money on over inflated purchases who were square pegs instead of round holes then maybe, just maybe we’d still be right up there. If you want to hate anyone for our plight I’d look a little closer to home if I were you. I know I do.

    As for Villa, they have a chairman who is conspicous by his absence of stupidity in the media, a manager who knows what he’s doing and is allowed to do it and a real chance of keeping the goons (a team I really dont like) out of the top four. I for one will hope that (apart from today) they win enough games to do the job and hope that any Villa supporter reading this realises that most decent Spurs fans wish you all the very best.

  11. WhatABigManWhoOpensHisBigotedLittleGobOnAWebsiteWhereAreYourGonadsHiding Says:

    patisatwatisaracistlittlecunt – get his comments off your site or, better still, publish his IP & email address.

  12. lee Says:

    Spurs & villa fans have always had a decent relationship, even the old skool firms never really bothered with each other. Villa have given ar5ena1 the shits all season and although i hope we give them a good hidding today(on the pitch) i will be cheering them until they confirm or lose 4th position. Martin Oneil was very nearly Spurs manager, Gareth Barry is a mad Spurs fan, David Ginola played for them & dont forget Ray Clemence made his Spurs debut against them in the charity shield (2-2)!!! COYS x

  13. bog Says:

    Villa have had a very good season no doubt about that, they have been punching well above there weight but they are no champions league team, although i hate to say it, the norm will happen, the scum will sneak in for the last champions league place, Villa will play live on five and the world revolves as normal. Shame, being a Spurs fan i have nothing to crow about except the slight hope that the gooners might not make the champions league. We need some serious rebuilding for next season but i dont think you will see the same soft touches next year. And patisatwat your a cock, for once your northern monkey team has finished above us, enjoy it while you can, it wont last.

  14. Cockney Says:

    You do know that everyone from London isnt a cockney? bloody know nothing Northern Monkey

  15. Osvaldovilla Says:

    PATISATWAT.
    What an appropriate name that you chose for yourself, obviously knowing that deep in your heart and soul that you are one. Why do you not get a life. I look at your comments and realise that you are a person who needs urgent help! Don’t hide behind the security of football sites go to a doctor and get yourself the help that you obviously need before you hurt yourself or some other innocent person, check into a clinic A.S.A.P. for everybodys sake. You KNOB.
    COYS.

  16. Shannon Says:

    For once, there’ll be some measure of consolation if Spurs lose this one. I actually can’t bear the thought of us helping out Arsenal. But our own needs are most important, I suppose.

  17. Michael Says:

    As a gooner, i won’t begrudge a win for spurs on this one. Sure, i’d like them to lose every single game in the world ever normally (even a game of tiddlywinks), but to be honest, what they do from now and till the end of the season is of no great consequence to anyone. Simply the lesser of two evils.

    Plus, i dont think you are alone….i know a few spurs fans who hate villa. Sure, they’ve done well to get where they are, but they’ve had an awful lot of luck along the way….and now it seems their luck is running out….fingers crossed.

    Just gotta watch out for Everton now who could prove to be a threat.

    Thats all by the by anyway….if we finish 5th and dont win the Champions League, we’ll just use our ‘connections’ in the FA to dig out some dirt on Villa or Everton about how they used an ineligible tea lady one week and accordingly dock them 10 points…

  18. spurfect one Says:

    patisatwat

    The same shit poor run club that beat your team today 2-1. U really are a first class wanking cunt of a slag and a whore to boot.

  19. Phil Brooks Says:

    hold up… is pat a twat or not then? i’m losing touch…

All Action, No Plot © 2009. Theme Squared created by Rodrigo Ghedin.