All Action, No Plot

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Robbie Keane Returns, Confused Fans Wonder Whether to Cheer or Jeer

The Tottenham transfer policy has begun to spiral beyond the realms of reason with the news of Keane’s return.  The policy of buying back players, which had seemed ironic and mildly amusing at first, now appears to be a dedicated strategy on the part of Levy and Redknapp, with predictable jokes now being made about the imminent return of Mido, Mabbut and Mullery.. However, while the return of Defoe was greeted in the wildly over-zealous manner of a human deity, Robbie Keane’s is likely to be a little harder to stomach for the N17 regulars. Opinion will, inevitably, be split between haters and slightly reluctant accepters, but there are arguments in both camps…“Tree Cheers For The Oirish Scamp!” 

He’s a worker. Yes, he moans, wags his finger and rather tediously blames everyone but himself – but he also buzzes around with the verve of a three year-old who’s been force-fed sugar and class A drugs. Such an attitude is vastly preferable in a relegation scrap to that of a prima donna more obsessed with keeping his shirt dazzlingly white and flicking his fringe.

We made an £8 mil profit over six months. Huzzah! Admittedly this is neither here nor there for the fans – it’s not like the entire sum will be poured into ticket-price reductions. In fact, the entire sum and more might one day be spent upon Stewart One-Trick Downing, but let’s not depress ourselves. Schadenfreude is one of the most wonderful things on God’s green earth, and the opportunity to laugh at Liverpool ought not to be passed up.

“That Treacherous Scoundrel Is Not Fit To Wear The Shirt…” 

He’s no target-man. Forgive my imbecility, but I had thought we were after a great hulking mammoth of a front-man? A Kenwyne Jones-esque beast of a striker, who eats small animals and children for his half-time snack, and who can’t be barged off the ball by a whole fleet of Soviet tanks. Robbie Keane has many, attributes, but being the long-lost twin of Emile Heskey is not one of them.  Having prioritised a big-man upfront, this concerted change of transfer policy is striking – and potentially flawed if ‘Arry remains unconvinced by Pav and Bent.

The Keane-Defoe conundrum. So how does this fit in with Jermain Defoe? Admittedly Defoe is now out for 10 weeks, so there was a very strong case for splashing the cash and bringing in another proven Premiership striker, and pronto. However, Defoe is not about to retire. He’ll be back one day, and when he is we can once again all twist our knickers and write reams and reams about the folly of trying to pair Keane and Defoe. History suggests that failure to solve this one, again, will lead to one of them throwing toys from pram and legging it out of the Lane. As a small child I would shrug and assume that someone, somewhere knew what was going on. Now I shrug and file everything that happens at the Lane under the heading “All Action, No Plot”.

And one final thought, to be mulled over at your leisure. Where the blazes is all this money coming from?

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Published in Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009, at 10:14 am, and filed under Spurs transfers.

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6 Responses

  1. Mal Says:

    Didn’t fancy it when I read it and have had total objection to the transfer for the last few weeks. However, he is back at our club and there is no point booing him off. Not saying that we should be hailing his return, rather we should make him work for it. We will forgive, but we will never forget.

  2. COME ON YOU SPURS Says:

    Fantastic signing IMO Defoe out for ten weeks we needed someone in ASAP. No settling in period he knows most of the squad, he will bring the best out of Modric and Pav he should even be able to help Bentleys game (atleast Keane will tell him what not to do) his inteligent runs and space making will allow Modric and Pav more space to exploit. Bring on Le Arse COYS!!!

  3. Ol'Git Says:

    The loss of Keane was the most damaging of the Berbatov/Keane departures since we loss that enthusiasm, drive and spirit which raised the team performances. His spirit may have prevented also the last minute collapses we’re so fond of.
    We should cheer him to the rafters (have we got rafters at WHL?) and make him feel great. He will reward us by giving us the best chance we have of staying up than any other signing we could have made.

  4. Shannon Says:

    I was one of Keane’s biggest fans, and I was devastated when he left, specially after telling us how he wanted to end his career at WHL. He’s a great player who will give us something different, a free spirit who could never fit into the Rafa Benitez philosophy of football. BUT: the Keane episode will not be easily forgotten. He left us!! It will take time before he earns our affection again, but let’s give him a chance. People make mistakes.

  5. ronnie Says:

    Robbie Keane is a waste!!
    So he is a proven top flight flop…and Spurs are desparate for him? If we wver get near that Champions League place (4th) , What will we do with one who has proven he can’t hack it up there?

    Defoe should start everygame when he comes back. If that means relegation! So be it!

  6. hellwelovespurs Says:

    keane return tells us two things, the grass isn’t always greener on other side and Rafa Benitez hasn’t got a clue – great to have him back

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