Boy: Viene la tormenta
Sarah Connor: What did he just say?
Attendant: He said there’s a storm coming.
Sarah Connor: I know.
She wasn’t wrong either. There’s a storm coming alright – no less than L’Arse, Chelski and Man Utd, as well as Man City away in the final week of the season. Our heroes won’t quite have to go galloping around town on the run from an indestructible shape-changing policeman with ruddy great big knives for hands, but the task awaiting them next month is still mighty daunting. Even the greatest optimists amongst us might concede that a point or two could be dropped in that run-in. (The upbeat AANP projection is that we’ll actually take seven points from those four games – but that’s a story for another day).So if there is a time to be amassing points, it is the next eight days or so: up at Stoke tomorrow, and at home to Pompey a week hence. We have taken nine points from our last nine, and could feasibly extend this to 15 from 15, which would amount to jolly handy preparation for the forthcoming tormenta. First things first however, and Stoke away will be testing– we imploded there last year (two red cards and a near-death experience for Corluka) and were frustratingly snuffed out by them at the Lane earlier in the season, when they stuck every man and his dog behind the ball, launched a few long throws and mugged us in the final few minutes. However, where there is Bale there is hope…
Defoe Crocked
Well the good news is that nobody in the treatment room will be feeling lonely. Lennon, Ledley, Bentley, Jenas, Woodgate, Cudicini and Hudd have some new company, as Defoe has pulled a muscle, while the boy Rose and Kyle Walker also amongst the walking-wounded. Crouch will presumably line up alongside Pav, while Gudjohnsen will be on high alert and we might even resort to dragging back Keane, kicking and screaming - and pointing - from his latest boyhood idols.
All a bit threadbare then, although our starting eleven still looks strong enough. However, one more sprained ankle or chipped fingernail and we will be turning to Younes Kaboul to carry the midfield through the final few crunch games of the season.
Hudd Contracted
He may not be available tomorrow, but Hudd has been in the news this week, having inked a brand spanking new deal to keep him at the club for a few more years, the lucky devil. Footballers’ contracts do not seem to be worth much these days, and if (hypothetically) Man Utd came sniffing in a year or two it seems a mite unlikely that the big man would resolutely refuse to listen to their overtures, and insist that he honour the remaining few years of his deal at the Lane. Still, even as a fully-qualified cynic I can appreciate that a new contract represents a more positive scrap of paper than a transfer request.
Other tittle-tattle suggests that that Sandro lad is on his way in, while Adel Taraabt may well have talked his way out. In a couple of months, these and other more pressing concerns will have been concluded. ‘Arry reckons another 16 points will do the trick this season. I cannot be bothered to check the veracity of this claim, but given his “Two-points-eight-games” mantra I will assume he knows his numbers. A point tomorrow would not be bad, but if we want to make the Champions League we ought to target three.
AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).All are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here
Are we a club in crisis? While I hate to disappoint the doom-mongers and mischievous press-men, it is a little too hasty to go down that route just yet.Come the full-time whistle we ought to have a clearer idea of where we stand. Naturally, this being White Hart Lane, moderation is not welcome. Our fortunes tomorrow will swing wildly one way or t’other, either back on track to challenge the top four, or sliding irreversibly towards mid-table obscurity and worse. Such is life at the Lane.
We’re Doomed I Tell Ye, DOOMED
Relax. We’re Fine. Chill, Winston.
We’re not as good as the top three, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. We’re competing for fourth, and will continue to do so as long as we show that the Stoke defeat was an anomaly. Until Stoke we were generally picking up points against the mid-table/bottom-half teams, and this trend needs to be continued throughout the season and beginning tomorrow.
Good News From The Fixture-List
AANP’s Prayer For Tomorrow
After the Stoke debacle, the prayer of choice being humbly offered heavenwards is that we score early tomorrow, or at least score first. Without Modric (and possibly Lennon) we lack the je ne sais quoi to unlock a deep-lying, packed defence set on gaining a point from first minute to last (see Stoke). Score an early goal however, and we’ll be laughing. Well, maybe not laughing - being Tottenham, we’ll find a way to complicate things - but at least scoring an early goal will allow us space and counter-attacking opportunities.
I therefore find myself hoping that Sunderland have a go at us, or at least resist the urge to set up two banks of four, and then just sit back and repel. Should they venture forward (and the chances of this are obviously exponentially increased if we get the first goal) there will be a bit of space behind them to exploit. They will henceforth become putty in our hands, and we shall toy with them. As flies are to wanton boys shall the trailing Sunderland be to counter-attacking Tottenham. Then the final whistle will go and we’ll all live happily ever after, for a fortnight.
Worst-Case Scenario
We Spurs fans have turned the Ludicrous-and-Disproportionate-Howl-of-Anguish-and-Baying-for-Blood into an art-form. Another insipid defeat tomorrow would be like releasing a coiled spring of vitriol, and the hills will be alive with the sound of calls for the whole team to be sold, ‘Arry’s coaching staff sacked and football destroyed forever.
Place Your Bets
Darren Bent will score, ‘tis written in the stars.
As ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the featured players in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann hereY
ou can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here
A few weeks ago we hit Burnley for five despite not playing particularly well; this time our scratchy performance did not have a five-goal veil to mask it.Bravo Stoke
To their credit they did not let us carve open a clear-cut chance in front of goal, our best opportunities coming from crosses and longer-range efforts. Praise is due particularly to their ‘keeper Simonsen for the full-length fingertip stuff, and also for impressively began his time-wasting with just 24 minutes showing on the big clock.
Hudd: The Debate Rumbles On…
In his defence, his passing ability was rather stifled by the soul-destroying lack of movement from team-mates, and also by the fact that it is pretty darned difficult to play an incisive ball behind a deep eight-man defence.
The case for the prosecution however, will point to numerous aimless balls punted in all directions, as well a curious determination to nip in the bud any counter-attacking impetus we had, by slowing down the game or conceding possession as we looked to scamper forward.
… And Niko Kranjcar, Don’t Think You’re Getting Let Off Lightly Sonny
Like Hudd, Kranjcar is a player of good technique ( he does strike a sweet long-range shot), which renders it all the more perplexing that these two insisted on so many touches whenever they received possession yesterday. The notion of slick, pacey one-touch football seemed a million miles away, and the problem was compounded by the frequent misplacing of passes, short and long, or dawdling on the ball to get caught in possession. This was Stoke’s cue to swing a leg and hoist the ball into orbit, for Dawson to head back, and begin the process all over again.
I and 30,000-odd fellow spectators can be notoriously fickle, and the grumblings of discontent tend to filter through sharpish at the Lane when matters are not going to plan. In such circumstances we need at least to see the players looking like they are playing with some urgency, so it is perhaps unfortunate that the Hudd and Kranjcar simply bear the appearance of sluggishness, even if they are working their socks off. Both appeared guilty of rocking on their heels too frequently yesterday, in common with various other team-mates.
Energy From Lennon and Jenas
It appeared that salvation might come from the unlikely source of Jenas, and he deserves credit for his earnestness and energy – but Gazza Mk II he ain’t, and his willing alone was not enough to fashion a clear chance.
While I have singled out Hudd and Kranjcar, the general lack of movement was galling, and we were also undone by the players working at cross-purposes throughout. Simple give-and-goes went awry as players gave and didn’t go, or both went at the same time, or generally were looking in the wrong direction at the crucial moment; and a Stoke player duly swung a leg, and Dawson headed back, and it all began again, as the sound of weeping began to emanate from AANP Towers.
The Captain’s Armband
One final rant - as I’m on a roll here - is the fact that the captain’s armband was passed from Keane to Hudd to Jenas. Call it Exhibit A in the case to convince anyone still in doubt as to whether we lack on-field leadership.The Good News
Good news part two – we’re still in the top four, as the dropping of expected points is rather becoming the vogue amongst our rivals this season.
Good news part three – I think we’d all take a defeat to Stoke if it could be followed by a win at l’Arse…
As ever, all are
most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann hereYou can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, or follow on Twitter here.