All Action, No Plot

Boy: Viene la tormenta
Sarah Connor: What did he just say?
Attendant: He said there’s a storm coming.
Sarah Connor: I know.

She wasn’t wrong either. There’s a storm coming alright – no less than L’Arse, Chelski and Man Utd, as well as Man City away in the final week of the season. Our heroes won’t quite have to go galloping around town on the run from an indestructible shape-changing policeman with ruddy great big knives for hands, but the task awaiting them next month is still mighty daunting. Even the greatest optimists amongst us might concede that a point or two could be dropped in that run-in. (The upbeat AANP projection is that we’ll actually take seven points from those four games – but that’s a story for another day).

So if there is a time to be amassing points, it is the next eight days or so: up at Stoke tomorrow, and at home to Pompey a week hence. We have taken nine points from our last nine, and could feasibly extend this to 15 from 15, which would amount to jolly handy preparation for the forthcoming tormenta. First things first however, and Stoke away will be testing– we imploded there last year (two red cards and a near-death experience for Corluka) and were frustratingly snuffed out by them at the Lane earlier in the season, when they stuck every man and his dog behind the ball, launched a few long throws and mugged us in the final few minutes. However, where there is Bale there is hope…

Defoe Crocked

Well the good news is that nobody in the treatment room will be feeling lonely. Lennon, Ledley, Bentley, Jenas, Woodgate, Cudicini and Hudd have some new company, as Defoe has pulled a muscle, while the boy Rose and Kyle Walker also amongst the walking-wounded. Crouch will presumably line up alongside Pav, while Gudjohnsen will be on high alert and we might even resort to dragging back Keane, kicking and screaming - and pointing - from his latest boyhood idols.

All a bit threadbare then, although our starting eleven still looks strong enough. However, one more sprained ankle or chipped fingernail and we will be turning to Younes Kaboul to carry the midfield through the final few crunch games of the season.

Hudd Contracted

He may not be available tomorrow, but Hudd has been in the news this week, having inked a brand spanking new deal to keep him at the club for a few more years, the lucky devil. Footballers’ contracts do not seem to be worth much these days, and if (hypothetically) Man Utd came sniffing in a year or two it seems a mite unlikely that the big man would resolutely refuse to listen to their overtures, and insist that he honour the remaining few years of his deal at the Lane. Still, even as a fully-qualified cynic I can appreciate that a new contract represents a more positive scrap of paper than a transfer request.

Other tittle-tattle suggests that that Sandro lad is on his way in, while Adel Taraabt may well have talked his way out. In a couple of months, these and other more pressing concerns will have been concluded. ‘Arry reckons another 16 points will do the trick this season. I cannot be bothered to check the veracity of this claim, but given his “Two-points-eight-games” mantra I will assume he knows his numbers. A point tomorrow would not be bad, but if we want to make the Champions League we ought to target three.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).

All are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

Like a craggily-bearded convict using the walls of his cell to chalk off the days until freedom, it is with growing excitement that I desecrate the walls of AANP Towers with scribbles signifying another game played, and another win recorded. Nine games to go, and our heroes are fulfilling their side of the bargain. I must confess that at this stage of the season I find myself caring less and less about the style, and more and more about the outcome. Spring has sprung and victories are now paramount, particularly with the injury-list lengthening.

Corluka’s Ridiculous Running Style: A Theorem

Not long ago I went for an unhealthily long run around the streets of North London, the result of which was that for the following two days the inevitably tight hamstrings had me waddling around like a man recently sodomized by a horse. The aftermath of said run gave rise to the notion that perhaps Coluka’s bizarrely laboured, trundling approach is due to the fact that the night before every game he sets off on a half-marathon, leaving him absolutely spent by the time he waddles out in lilywhite. Admittedly it is a hypothesis that might not necessarily withstand the most intense scrutiny, but with each passing game I gaze in utter bemusement at the sight of this top-level professional athlete undergoing such a struggle simply to run.

‘Twas a mixed performance from the Croatian. Now prevented from producing his wondrous link-up play with Lennon, I have taken to viewing the world’s oldest-looking 24 year-old with an increasingly critical eye. As ever his distribution was regularly sloppy; and, as ever, his defensive duties were carried out fairly solidly. On both counts however there was a notable exception today. His was a vital and superb contribution to the opening goal, the intelligent movement in the area and textbook downward header positively Sheringham-esque. Yet on the debit side his penalty area lunge in the first half was thoroughly ill-advised, and might have been deemed a spot-kick on another day.

And On The Subject of Penalty Shouts…

It appears that the impeccable Howard Webb would only have awarded Gareth Bale a penalty if the Blackburn mob had chopped him in half with a chainsaw. The handsome young Welshman was once again outstanding, with Sergeant Wilson also turning in another strong performance. Quite the bonus too that the midfield pitbull negotiated the full 90 minutes caution-free, to avoid an untimely two-game suspension.

Elsewhere on the Pitch

Modders showed a few flashes of class, but again could not really be said to have bossed things from central midfield. Similarly fitful stuff from Kranjcar, although it made a delightful change to see us actually score from a corner, the Croatian’s set-piece delivery on that occasion achieving the rare feat of beating the first man.

Super Pav

Actually “Super” is something of an exaggeration, as on two occasions he swung at the ball with all the mal-coordination of a fat kid in the playground, from not much further than six yards. However, when you’re hot you’re hotski, and our Pav still chipped in with his now customary brace. If nothing else it will bump up his transfer value come the summer.

Is There A “Bad Time To Score”?

Good predatory stuff from Defoe too, to celebrate the return of the Wembley arch atop his pate. Conventional wisdom has it that the closing moments of the first half are “a good time to score”, and whatever the science of that particular theory a half-time lead is always well-received around these parts, for our lot have developed the laudable habit of turning such half-time leads into full-time victories.

Perhaps not vintage Spurs in the final analysis, but a job well done nevertheless. With resources depleted it is quite a relief to shake hands, turn on our heels and wander off into the sunset with three points securely stuffed in our cases. It is three successive League wins now, precisely the adrenaline shot our top-four push required, and with seven days until our next fixture our walking-wounded have some precious time to remove their band-aids and bolster the ranks.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).

All are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

Strangely nervous ahead of this one, precisely because we are such overwhelming favourites. We at AANP Towers would happily trade all of the following for three points, in any way or form, but as I idle away the final minutes of the day-job, the following notions float to mind…

A Dull Home Win

The list of Games-To-Rue-Come-May is far too long already; let’s not add to it, eh chaps? Just a standard, by-the-numbers, mundane home win will do just fine thank you. You know the sort – a goal from Kranjcar in the first 15 minutes; a good hour of dominance; a slightly nervy feel that we ought to turn said dominance into goals; and finally a Defoe goal in the last ten minutes to kill the game off. The sort of regular home win that gets shunted well done the Match of the Day running order. No alarms and no surprises, as Radiohead might venture.

A nice stress-free win is all the more appealing given that our fixture-list begins to take a few turns for the worse in coming weeks. Admittedly Pompey at home should just about be negotiable, but Stoke away could be a tad tricky; Man City away could be crucial; and we also have games against the top three to come. Three points are being dangled White Hart Lane-wards, and it might be an idea to stock up now, before such resources become scarce in April.

No Caution For Palacios

One more yellow and Sergeant Wilson misses two games. Bad enough at the best of times, the current injury crisis means that one more mishap might see Kaboul or Corluka shoved into midfield, as part of a tactical re-jig best defined as Close-Your-Eyes-And-Hope. The chances of Palacios lasting the final ten Premiership (plus Cup) games without a booking are nil, but if he could just hold out until the likes of Hudd and Bentley return that would soften the blow somewhat.

Destruction of All That Sam Allardyce Stands For

Sam Allardyce might be quite the philanthropist - on a personal level I cannot comment - but as a manager I despise him and his ways. ‘Arry has gone the diplomatic route ahead of this game (“Everyone plays how they play, they have their own style…Whatever Sam does, he has been one of the most successful managers”) but I fervently hope that we subject Allardyce’s charges to a masterclass of one-touch, olé football, and pass them to death. Although I’ll settle for a mundane home win of course.

None of That Hollywood-Ball Gubbins From Daws

Daws’ defensive form has been pretty darned impressive, barring the occasional rush of blood to the head, but I do wish he would stop the Beckenbauer impressions. Just be a good boy and knock the ball short to Modders or someone, rather than trying to launch it sixty yards to one of the attacking midgets.

Robbo Circa 2008 Onwards

Once upon a time Paul Robinson was awesome. A few years back, when we were last challenging for the top four, it seemed that between him and Ledley a certain goal would be prevented every game, and I duly worshipped his balding pate. However, ever since that missed kick against Croatia it has been nigh on impossible to think of him without seeing the grinning face of Borat heralding another slapstick mishap, poor blighter. More of the same tomorrow please. Let’s see him flap at a 30-yard Kranjcar effort, or flap at a set-piece and end up chucking the ball into his own net.

Up the other end, Gomes has barely made a mistake all season, and this juxtaposition alone ought to be enough to seal the three points.

The teamsheet will presumably be fairly similar to that posted against Fulham last week – BAE at left-back; Bale left midfield; Modders in the centre – although Defoe can be expected to return to the starting line-up alongside Pav. The early kick-off gives us a chance to put a bit of pressure on the other challengers for fourth, and watch them stew in their own juices over the course of the weekend – and there are few preferable activities around these parts of a Saturday afternoon.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).

All are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

Well I would have settled for a draw beforehand – that it was such a memorable, high-octane, pulsating spectacle of a game was a bonus. As against Bolton in the last round, the AANP view is that our opponents have blown their best chance of victory by failing to beat us on their own patch. Back at the Lane and under the floodlights I fancy us to come out on top, injuries permitting. Fulham at home and Pompey at Wembley in order to make the FA Cup Final? Now there’s a thought…

A Good Day For Bullies

It’s not big and it’s not clever, but it appears that sometimes bullies finish first. Sergeant Wilson refused to let anyone have their way, and spent his 90 minutes ruining things for any Fulham player who came near him; while for the other lot, Bobby Zamora made himself a complete pain from start to finish. The well-behaved kids, like Modders, didn’t stand a chance. Too nice by half, our Luka was given the opportunity to boss things from central midfield, but again gave reason to conclude that he is best deployed as a left midfielder, drifting infield and linking with an overlapping full-back.

A Nagging Worry

There remains a nagging frustration here at AANP Towers that the central midfield berth remains an area for improvement generally. I humbly suggest that Hudd needs to offer more than just his passing-range; and less humbly decree Jenas a lost cause; while as we saw yesterday Modders does not appear to have the requisite muscle and feistiness for the role. Until the end of the season we will have to plough on with the resources we have, but come the summer I fervently hope that we beg, steal or borrow a top-notch, attack-minded central midfielder. Admittedly there are precious few of them out there, and ‘Arry will probably just persist with Hudd, but to become a Champions League-standard team we need a midfielder who can run the show.

Bale’s Midfield Adventure

Back to yesterday’s game, about which many a sage has ventured that a draw seemed about right. Our heroes started fairly well, but by golly the Fulham defence was well-organised, and within about fifteen minutes I had already started mentally clearing the diary for the replay date. The game became a little more stretched in the second half, with Fulham hitting upon the novel idea of trying to win the thing, and Gomes was called upon to go leaping around once or twice, but the closest thing to a goal was probably Corluka’s coronary-inducing slashed clearance in the dying embers of the game, which drifted horrifyingly close to his own net.

As ever, all that was best from our lot came from the ever-wondrous size nines of Gareth Bale. Worries that his creative juices might be sapped by his new midfield role proved fairly unfounded, as he increasingly became our default attack option – the only man capable of getting behind the Fulham defence, frequently drawing two opponents towards him and occasionally also haring infield. I’m not sure too many women want him, or too many men want to be him, but I have a healthy dose of man-love for the guy, and sincerely hope that his every whim is indulged by those in authority at the Lane, to ensure he remains in lilywhite for years to come. Every now and then I allow myself to drift off and imagine how ruddy unstoppable we might be with Bale pelting down one flank and a fit-again Aaron Lennon on the other…

Elsewhere On The Pitch

Less impressive were our two full-backs. Assou-Ekotto was a little too casual at times, while not for the first time Corluka’s distribution was rather wayward. Bassong however probably deserves a nod of approval, for sticking manfully to his Zamora-containment duties throughout, a blinking hard task by the look of it.

The Crouch-Pav pairing did not really have me slapping my thigh and ordering champagne. There was huffing and puffing a-plenty up-front, but not too many clear-cut chances amidst the suffocating line of Fulham defenders.

So a replay it will be. We may yet rue failure to capitalise upon the absence of Danny Murphy in the Fulham ranks, and there is also the very ominous possibility that injury or suspension might deplete our midfield further; but as things stand we are jolly well-placed to reach the FA Cup Final.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Spurs’ Cult Heroes, is now available in the Spurs shop, all good bookshops and online (at Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play).

All are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding the players featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here. Also featured in the book are Sandy Brown and the late, great Bill Nicholson.

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

Well we can postpone work on those “Sack ‘Arry” placards for the time-being at least. With a maturity that even they themselves probably did not realise they possessed our heroes adapted to the conditions better than the other lot, made better chances and saw out the game with consummate professionalism. While I braced myself for a late bout of insanity from someone or other, the players abandoned an age-old Tottenham tradition and instead navigated through to the end without any scares.

The pitch hardly made for champagne football, and for a while it looked like our lot were under orders to bypass the mud by pinging long balls at every opportunity, but to their credit they persevered with the passing game as much as the conditions allowed. (Before Modders came and made it look like he was playing on a bowling-green.)

As well as their use of the ball and acclimatisation to the conditions, the willingness to roll up sleeves, slide through the mud and fight the attritional war was also most gratifying (in theory at least, although Messrs Defoe and Bale adopted dangerously dubious interpretations of the notion of “getting stuck in”). While we did not necessarily always win those 50-50 balls, neither did we look like we would shirk the challenges. Top marks, chaps.

The Opening Goal

I suspect even objective Wigan fans would admit that we were good value for the win, but there is no denying that the first goal went miles beyond the boundary of “fortuitous”, and ensconced itself comfortably in the world of the downright absurd. While Bale’s charge down the left merits thumping applause, Defoe had, as ever, clearly jumped the gun. He did at least have the grace to look suitably embarrassed by it all.

C’est la vie. Statistics may suggest otherwise, but AANP is of the train of thought that these things loosely even out over a season, and we have certainly been hard done by in recent weeks (off the top of my head Defoe’s disallowed goal against Liverpool, and penalty shout against Villa, in recent weeks). Moreover, for all the controversy surrounding it the opening goal did not make a huge difference to the general pattern of the game, throughout which manful efforts to plough through the quagmire were achieved better by our lot than theirs.

However, there is a counter-argument that that opening goal was crucial for us inasmuch as that breaking the deadlock has become something of a mental barrier for us in recent weeks. Time and again we have played well but failed to get that all-important first goal, with the result that we have ended up battering away at a ten-man defence. On Sunday, through outrageous officiating we found ourselves ahead - and were then able to play against a team forced to edge out towards us. Wigan did not exactly come at us all guns blazing, but nor were they able to pile bodies into defence. As a result, particularly in the second half, our forwards found themselves man-to-man against a defender, rather than facing two banks of four.

Triffic Substitutions

A little oddly, both our subs, Modders and Pav, looked absolute world-beaters when they entered the fray. Inspired changes from ‘Arry? Or is it simply the case that fresh legs were worth their weight in gold in the dying stages, particularly on a pitch as heavy as Wigan’s? Casting my mind back a week, Kranjcar too looked particularly impressive when introduced as substitute in the second half against Bolton (in place of Modric himself on that occasion), again making me wonder whether it was the brand spanking newness of the limbs, rather than the quality they conveyed, which made the difference. Whatever the case may be, in Bale, Bassong, Kranjcar, Bentley and Pav we have a handful of very adequate substitutes, and something approaching squad-depth.

Pav: Super

He is evidently a popular little bunny amongst his team-mates, but ‘Arry did not exactly look thrilled to bits with Pav’s little cameo, the camera close-up straight after the third goal capturing a particularly morose expression across the face of our glorious leader. However, there is now no avoiding the fact that our head honcho has a selection dilemma. An inspired twenty minutes as substitute is one thing, but can Pav produce the goods on a regular basis? Does he only play like that against weaker teams? How would he fare if given a regular run in a settled side (I discount the Wendy Ramos era in which he featured as not constituting “a settled side”)? Would he and Defoe work as a combo?

Such questions are unanswered at present, but he looked mighty darned classy on Sunday, the contrast with his gangling strike partner neatly emphasised when he scored precisely the sort of chance Crouch had missed moments earlier. Not many tears would be shed if the lanky one were dropped to the bench and Pav given a starting-berth alongside Defoe for a few games. Crouch is a jack of various trades but master of none, and the time might be right to lock him in a cage labelled “Plan B”.

Corluka: Not So Super

We at AANP Towers are rarely happy unless we can find something about which to be unhappy, and in the last few weeks the mumblings of discontent have been aimed at the least glamorous of our trio of Croatians. Granted, Corluka makes a vital contribution to The Lennon Phenomenon, with that neat line in dinked through-balls inside the full-back. However, in the absence of the shaven-eyebrowed deity the lumbering Croat can hardly be considered God’s gift to The World of Attacking Full-Backs, and as such his defensive game needs to be watertight - but not for the first time, on Sunday he was sloppy at the back on several occasions.

All told however, it was a staggeringly professional display. Solid in defence; determined and creative as necessary in midfield; sharp in attack. That’s three consecutive halves of good football from our lot – so for one week at least the Prophets of Doom have courteously shuffled aside, to let the Top-Four Delusionalists make themselves heard.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, will be in shops from 6 March - but is available to pre-order now from Tottenhamhotspur.com, as well as WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

The response to our current blip has included a vitriolic chorus from some quarters for the sacking of ‘Arry. Having dragged us from the relegation zone to contention for the top-four – via Wembley – in little over a year, it seems a slightly disproportionate reaction, but defeat in the Cup today would not go down well amongst already restless natives. Coming on the back of arguably our worst performance of the season, a trip to Bolton is hardly ideal, but we have enough quality in our ranks to win this.

For all our possession againt Wolves in midweek we showed precious little fluency, and our midfield ball-players now owe us a nice slick performance. While he may now be a fixture in the team Hudd’s performances still alternate between outstanding and ineffective; while Niko Kranjcar has gone off the boil in recent weeks, beavering away  diligently enough, but with precious few of his inventive ideas coming to fruition, a syndrome typical of the entire team. Modders has shown the odd flash of genius since returning from injury (the assist against Fulham is adoringly ingrained in the mind) but he too has hardly hit the heights, and we need one of these chaps to pull the strings for us today, as the weight of attacking responsibility currently weighs rather heavily upon the shoulders of Messrs Bale and Bentley.

The Rarely-Sighted Pav is apparently back in contention, which suggests we have a choice of two from four in attack, but nevertheless I would be surprised if ‘Arry did not revert to Crouch and Defoe. Apparently there are injury worries over both Ledley and Daws, and with Kaboul presumably cup-tied this could mean either Hudd or Corluka moving to centre-back.

While recent form makes me feel nothing but pessimism ahead of this one, I cling to the meagre hope that Spurs are always capable of producing the completely unexpected – pointing to a rip-roaring performance and handsome victory today. Ahem.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out in early March and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

Team selection was never really an issue when we were banging them in left, right and centre and the side picked itself, but times are a-changing. While annus horribilis is probably a bit strong, our form since the turn of the year has been worrying, reflected not only by poor results and sloppy performances but now scrutiny of the line-up.

Corluka or Hutton

The name “Aaron Lennon” ought also to be factored in here, for many a left-back has been confounded by the Lennon-Corluka combo. In Lennon’s absence, Hutton offers a darned sight more pace on the right than the lumbering Croat - but as he is something of a liability defensively, Charlie is likelier to get the nod tonight.

B.A.L.E or B.A.E.

With suggestions in some quarters that Assou-Ekotto might be back, ‘Arry’s selection here will be interesting. Bale has been one of our better players in recent weeks, offering more attacking thrust than BAE and generally doing about as much as could be expected of him during his four-game opportunity. That said, the braided one is the more solid defender. We at AANP Towers like a bit of gung-ho sprinkled into our daily porridge, so would prefer Bale, but ‘Arry ‘as his favourites, and I would expect BAE to waltz straight back in if fit.

Wingers

The lawyers are being readied at AANP Towers, for the use of the term “Wingers” might be queried under the Trade Descriptions Act, but Lennon is still injured (curses) so unless ‘Arry goes clinically insane and starts with Rose and Bentley I presume Modders and Kranjcar will get the nod.

Centre-Mid

The source of much consternation in recent weeks, our centre midfield has shown all the aggression and feistiness of a heavily sedated kitten settling down for its afternoon nap. The possible return from injury of Hudd will suit us perfectly if we find ourselves a couple of goals ahead at some point, but otherwise I rather fret. When Jermaine Jenas played for England against Brazil a few months ago the universe almost collapsed under the weight of absurdity, but if Hudd remains injured JJ will again be our midfield fulcrum. I’d rather find that sleepy kitten and kit it out in lilywhite. Sergeant Wilson needs to discover his A-game, and pronto.

Up-Front

It looks like the delicate issue of whether Pav’s Saturday night cameo merits a shake-up of our attack can neatly be swept under the carpet. He’s strained a groinski apparently, so Defoe will be partnered by Crouch or Keane, while penalty-taking duties are apparently being shoved towards Hudd or Kranjcar.

Easy to forget that it’s only one defeat in six League games, and that we are still fourth, but this feels an awful lot more important.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

(Yes yes, it’s about a year late. Sorry. Finishing touches being applied to the opus Spurs’ Cult Heroes)

It appears that “Just one of those days” is lined up to become ‘Arry’s Triffic Phrase of the Season 2009/10, following the success of “Two points, eight games” last year. The official company line at least appears to be that the blank drawn against Hull is not something about which to get too worked up, and in a sense one can appreciate the point – we may not have been at our fluid best, but Gomes spent most of the game in smoking-jacket and slippers, puffing contentedly on cigar and squinting down the far end of the pitch. While one cheery Hull fan on a phone-in rather optimistically tried to argue that they had actually outplayed us, the stats of zero shots on target by Hull, compared to around three thousand by our lot, fairly convincingly suggest otherwise. It might not have been vintage Spurs, but we made a couple of clear-cut chances, and had Defoe or Keane done what they normally do with eyes closed we might have been dusting off the abacus.

But they didn’t and we weren’t. Not for the first time we’ve lollopped along Easy Street but lost our way and come stumbling back out again. Just one of those days? For the third time this season? At what point does the reaction morph from bemused shrug to desperate scramble for the panic stations?

For what it’s worth, the reaction is restraint – albeit of the mightily irritated variety – rather than wild-eyed panic here at AANP Towers. Unlike against Stoke, when we created worryingly few chances, against Hull we created a decent number, and but for that Myhill lad would have breezed it.

Elsewhere on the Pitch

Robbie Keane, bless him, gave more food for thought for his legions of admirers, the casual missed chance from all of two yards a particular highlight. In a move more akin to euthanasia than substitution, ‘Arry hauled him off before he had the chance to try missing from actually inside the goal. Around these parts we wondered how Pav might have fared. Before Keane had even taken his seat on the bench Plan B was up and running, Crouch immediately directing headers into the path of Defoe. Given the presence of the beanpole it might have been an idea to introduce the brylcreemed one, in order to swing in some crosses from the right, or even the boy Rose, who, one suspects, might have offered ever-so-slightly more pace than Corluka.

A decent shift from Gareth Bale, offensively and defensively. Further such displays may give our glorious leader something to chew on once BAE recovers from injury. Modders looked pleasingly urgent throughout; but Kranjcar returned from his cloud of wondrousness, back to earth with a bump, in the realm of the largely ineffective. While these two cut inside with gay abandon, central midfield remains a worry from this vantage point. When up against opponents willing to venture forward Hudd is more effective and Sergeant Wilson more suitably employed, but in the face of a 10-0-0 formation Hudd had precious few ideas. Boundless energy has never been his forte, and no-one expects that of him (whether rightly or wrongly is perhaps a debate for another day), but it would at least have been nice to see him rolling things along quickly, first-time passes and the like, playing like he a man who knows where he’ll put the ball before he even receives it.

The silver lining to all this is that a draw at home to a team in the relegation zone turned out to be one of the best results of the weekend, and by virtue of the charming generosity of our closes challengers we’re somehow back in the top four. The table would look infinitely cheerier if we had wins against Hull, Stoke and Wolves to add to the collection, but it is what it is.

AANP’s first book, Spurs’ Cult Heroes, comes out on 16 Feb and is now available to pre-order from WHSmith, Amazon , Tesco, Waterstones and Play

You can become a Facebook fan of Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

Liquid football. Honourable mentions to the back-four and ‘keeper, a fourth successive clean-sheet leaving me not so much applauding as looking around suspiciously to wonder what the devil is going on. However, the day belonged to those at the other end. While it made for anxious viewing as the second half wore on, the brand of football purveyed was of the sort I could have watched non-stop for hours, slick little one-touch passes lifted straight from that pre-match six-a-side drill the players undertake up by the halfway line. My two-month old niece has duly been given her Spurs-embroidered bibs, caring uncle that I am, but on this occasion I snatched the bib from her, fastened it around my own neck and drooled.

Modders’ Magic Second Touch

Modders, while betraying the odd early sign of rustiness, was back working miracles like a clean-shaven Jesus. Conventional wisdom and tabloid headlines will presumably screech tomorrow that he scored with his first touch; not so. Let it not be overlooked that his first (significant) touch was the one that started the move which led to his goal - drifting infield to win possession in front of his own penalty area, then demanding it back off the toes of Hudd and giving-and-going. As Lennon and Defoe between them made mincemeat of the West Ham defence, Modders was haring upfield, in time for his second touch, into the net. More drooling ensued.

Hudd Earns A Mince-Pie, Sergeant Wilson Eyes Up Hollywood

Niko Kranjcar has quickly become an AANP favourite, and as the teamsheet was announced I gave the beard a thoughtful stroke and wondered whether a fully-fit Modders could eventually be moved to centre-mid, in order to accommodate Niko on the left. The fall-guy in such a situation would be Tommy Hudd, on whom the spotlight therefore fell, particularly after a rather quiet performance last time out at the Lane, vs Man City.

As it turned out, Hudd delivered the textback definition of “Silencing the Critics”. His passing can often have us purring in appreciation, but his decision-making today, in picking the right pass – short or long as necessary – and upper-body strength were particularly impressive, and earn him a mince-pie.

Alongside him Sergeant Wilson looked more like his old self. AANP Towers has been buzzing with excitement in recent weeks at the news that a new sequel to Predator is apparently being made – Predators, which will pointedly ignore the previous, lamentable sequels, and be set on the predators’ home-planet, featuring amongst other creations, predator-dogs if you please. The template for such creatures is presumably Wilson Palacios of 28 December 2009, because if there was an ankle at which to be snapped he was there, every inch a growling, frenzied canine with the DNA of an indestructible alien warrior. Too early to claim we’ve got our Wilson back, but this is the standard he exhibited when he first joined.

Criticism. Sort Of.

The one grumble I suppose is that we ought to be turning such dominance into a bucketload of goals, à la Wigan; but the 70-minute inability to score was not for want of trying. Sometimes we sit back and indulge in fancy tricks ahead of a demented pursuit of the jugular; this time we knocked it around with purpose, always looking for the second goal.

There endeth the pseudo-criticism. Defensive clearances were not hurried, but typically measured, with a view to picking out a team-mate. Lennon’s performance demanded that new and ever more wondrous superlatives be created post-haste. Such was the general verve throughout our ranks that even Sergeant Wilson, BAE and Corluka could be spotted galloping towards goal. Harsh luck on West Ham to lose a couple of men early on to injury, but at times it seemed that they had not bothered to replace them, as we appeared to have an extra player on the pitch, lilywhite movement everywhere. The injuries excuse will only go so far; for our lofty current perch is due in large part to the strength of our reserves. Bassong injured? In comes Ledley. Modders needs a breather? Bring on Kranjcar.

West Ham may not have been the toughest nut to crack, but that should not detract from a performance which oozed wonderfulness from every pore. Happy new year indeed.

You can become a Facebook fan of forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes and AANP here, follow on Twitter here - or pre-order the ruddy thing here. Cripes!

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the players to be featured in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Martin Chivers here, Alan Gilzean here, Pat Jennings here, Cyril Knowles here, Steve Perryman here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jürgen Klinsmann here, David Ginola here, Paul Gascoigne here

A curious one, this. Back in the days of yore, when Luka Modric limped off against Birmingham, I don’t think anyone foresaw things panning out quite this way. Robbie Keane undroppable, wingers treated like lepers, long-ball upon long-ball. We’re muddling through, but the sooner both the Croatian genius and Lennon return, the better.

It’s A Legal Requirement

I don’t know which crack team of legal masterminds Robbie Keane hired to put together his contract, but I want them on my side come my next appraisal and salary review. He could have a leg amputated over the next few days and he’d still be picked. It’s the law.

Not that Keane is necessarily the fall-guy for the derby defeat last week – just about everyone was culpable that day, and any one of 11 could have been dropped. However, the 4-3-1-2 adopted by ‘Arry seemed at best a curious choice at kick-off. With Bentley, Bale and Kranjcar all left shivering on the bench, the various members of the White Hart Lane Detective Agency were each reaching the same conclusion – it was done to accommodate Keane.

I suppose that in ‘Arry’s head prior to kick-off it must have seemed a thing of genius – something like a midfield diamond, with Hudd pulling the strings at its base, and Keane working off the little-and-large front pair. On paper it had everything.

Wide-Boys

On grass unfortunately, it was an unsightly mess. The creative nous of Jenas, Hudd and Palacios extended to the all-too-familiar procession of long balls into orbit for the beanpole. As I craned my neck for the umpteenth time, the same point kept nagging away: why don’t we go wide? Alas, the question took me back to a scene from the cracking Red Dwarf…

CAT: Why don’t we drop the defensive shields?
KRYTEN: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws. One, we don’t have any defensive shields, and two, we don’t have any defensive shields. Now I realise that, technically speaking, that’s only one flaw but I thought it was such a big one it was worth mentioning twice.

To the left and right great swathes of turf lay unsullied by human feet, our wingers having been pointedly omitted altogether from the game-plan. The only semblance of width came from full-backs BAE and Charlie, neither of whom have ever exactly been fêted for their capacity to bomb up and down the flanks. With no genuine wingers on the pitch, too often we ended up back on board the long-ball train.

A Gold Star To Our Match-Winner

Uninspiring stuff then. The early goal was a bonus (coming, incidentally, from a rare cross from the flanks) and we had reason to bow gratefully to the White Hart Lane woodwork.

Keane and Hudd are the names on the scoresheet, but make no mistake, Gomes was our match-winner. A penalty save makes for an obvious headline, but it was one of a number of cracking saves in each half, worth a couple of goals. If things aren’t clicking in midfield (and they rarely do at the moment, without Lennon and Modders) it’s mightily reassuring to know that that the last line of defence is on top of his game. What a difference a year makes.

Darren Bent’s Comedy Show Returns To The Lane

AANP Towers was not the only abode at which the prospect of Darren Bent’s return inspired some dread. He’s no Jimmy Greaves, but there seemed to be a horrendous inevitability about him returning with a goal. When the penalty was awarded – poor Bent having been quite blatantly chopped in half, and possibly also stamped on, by Gomes - the nation’s headline writers presumably rubbed their hands in glee. Moreover, had Sunderland scored at that point, we would have a right struggle on our hands to secure three points.

Gloriously however, it was a return to the bad old days for Dazza. There are goals, and wins, but with all the history and pre-match hype, Gomes’ save from Bent’s penalty – and the mini-carnival it prompted in the stands - ranks as one of the highlights at the Lane so far this season.

Perhaps a little harsh on young Mr Bent to be tormented quite so mercilessly (references to Sandra Redknapp amongst those gleefully raining down after the penalty miss), given that he top-scored for us, rarely sulked and generally beavered away in lilywhite. Nevertheless, it was riotous fun, and after having seen Bent perfect the look of disbelief through numerous hopeless misses in lilywhite, it was most satisfying to see him strike that pose once more, in opposition colours.

Darren Bent’s Twitter Revenge

(It does not seem coincidence that no sooner do I resume the mockery of Monsieur Bent, then the AANP Twitter account gets hacked, with spam fired off in all directions in the good name of AANP. Sincere apologies if you were one of those on the receiving end; the problem, I think, has been resolved.)

Crisis Over

The penalty save may have been the turning-point, but the half-time switch to more orthodox 4-4-2, followed by the introduction of Krancjar for Keane, also helped steady the good ship Tottenham. By the end of the game we were even putting together the occasional slick passing move.

And a random point of note - what on earth is that party-trick Assou-Ekotto keeps showing off? The one where he leaps horizontally three feet in the air and scissor-kick volleys backwards? It’s very fancy, and actually turned out to be quite effective, just rather a bizarre sight.

It’s the mark of a championship-winning team to win when not playing particularly well. This was not vintage Spurs, but the win hauls us out of our crisis (relax… I jest). The three points do keep us very much in the hunt for fourth, and performances will improve as our key attacking outlets return. While it is always exciting to see what whacky strategy will be deployed each week to make up for the absence of Modric, I think we’ll breathe easier once the little fella returns.

Apologies to all who received Twitter spam from AANP this week, after the account was hacked by computer-box deviants. AANP on Twitter here – now cleansed and refreshed – and the Spurs Cult Heroes - AANP Facebook fan group here

And as ever, all are most welcome to leave memories - and browse those of others - regarding some of the featured players in forthcoming book Spurs’ Cult Heroes: Danny Blanchflower here, Dave Mackay here, Cliff Jones here, Glenn Hoddle here, Chris Waddle here, Ossie and Ricky here, Gary Mabbutt here, Graham Roberts here, Jimmy Greaves here, Clive Allen here, Jurgen Klinsmann here