All Action, No Plot

Zokora, Gunter, Dogtanian and the Scary Crouch Rumour

Ahoy-hoy. You may have noticed an eerie silence descending over AANP Towers in the last fortnight. Apologies – ‘twas initially intended as no more than a short break for an All-Action Stag Weekend (the impressive casualty list including A&E for the stag, a broken limb, a black eye, two lost phones, one lost wallet and a lost passport). It then morphed seamlessly into a full-blown two-week period of plain bone idleness on my part, at least in the world of Tottenham ruminations. All revved up now though, and with plenty about which to report, which makes a pleasant change this summer.

Do-Do-Do Didier

By golly I wouldn’t buy a used car from Daniel Levy. After astonishingly wringing 20 million from Liverpool last summer for Robbie Keane, he’s been at it again this summer, somehow extracting over 8 million from Sevilla for do-do-do Didier. There may be some caveat about compensation from the Wendy Ramos era thrown in, but you can tip it upside down and spin it around, and it will not make the blindest bit of difference – however you look at it, 8 million plus for Zokora is cracking business for us. Especially as, at 28, he was hardly likely to improve.

Plenty has already been said about Zokora’s departure on other corners of the interweb, and the consensus – that he was a headless chicken – is one with which I agree. His time in lilywhite was epitomised, for me, by his moment at the end of the 2008 Carling Cup Final – the adventurous dash forward, crowned by wild flailing shots when he sighted goal. His energetic style ought to make him a success in La Liga, where the game is typically a mite slower. A likeable enough chap, but the good folk of AANP Towers are not particularly bothered to see him go.

That is not meant to sound harsh, for Zokora was certainly committed to the Tottenham cause - which we all appreciated. It is more that the departure of players, even those for whom I feel great affinity, no longer bothers me, for such is the nature of the game. As a crestfallen whippersnapper, I desperately tried to maintain a stiff upper lip when Dogtanian waved goodbye to his parents and set off to seek his fame and fortune. The incident taught me a valuable lesson: that people in all walks of life - be they colleagues, animated Muskehounds or favoured footballers – inevitably move on, no matter how much they are cherished. Zokora was never a player I cherished particularly, and I therefore greet his departure with little more than a blasé shrug. Zokora was Premiership standard and Palacios is Champions League, so the business done in 2009 represents progress for Spurs.

Gunter to Forest

While applauding Levy’s gumption at prising 8 mil out of Sevilla for the mental Ivorian, I am decidedly less thrilled by the £1.75 million sale of Chris Gunter to Forest. Admittedly he hardly set the world alight in his handful of appearances for us in his 18-months Spurs career. Admittedly, also, he was a long way down the list of right-backs which we have been assiduously collecting over the last year or two.

Still, unlike Zokora, Gunter is young enough to improve. As such it would have made some sense to loan him out for another year, or at least collect a fee which reflected his potential for improvement.

This is hardly a cause that will instil in me the urge to make a placard, yell into a megaphone and upturn parked cars, but it certainly had me raising a surprised eyebrow.

Downing to Villa – Huzzah!

Kill the fatted calf and pop yer champagne corks – this has been a lucky escape. Bizarrely, it might even end up with Ashley Young cutting in from the left and ending up at the Lane (which would complete some truly awful business on Aston Villa’s part).

Football is Back – Huzzah!

Wimbledon was diverting, the Ponting-baiting in the Ashes is entertaining, but the most vigorous thigh-slapping at AANP Towers this summer has been reserved for the return of proper football. There is nothing to be read into the perfunctory 3-0 wins over lower-league opposition, but such games at least ease the players back to sharpness. On which note, good to see Defoe looking primed. As I am fond of remarking, he may not be the complete striker, but his talent for shooting hard and on target is a precious commodity, and it was in evidence against Bournemouth on Friday.

Cheers too for the inclusion in the starting line-up vs Exeter of Danny Rose. While I accept that one Under-21 starlet does not a Busby Babes team make, we are nevertheless verging on notoriety for our reluctance to blood home-grown youth, so Rose’s presence in the first starting XI of the pre-season rather warmed the AANP cockles. He’s an exciting prospect, and I sincerely hope that one or two from Rose, Bostock, Obika, Livermore et al at least become regulars on our bench this season. Polite applause also for the disco feet shown from Livermore in setting up Defoe’s goal from Bournemouth.

Jeers, however, for the pairing of Keane and Defoe as our front-two for the Exeter game. Really? Is that the best strike pairing ‘Arry could muster of after a whole summer’s thought?

Crouch? Ye Gads No!

Actually, on reflection, let’s stick with Keane and Defoe. Few players polarise opinion like Peter Crouch, and here at AANP Towers we are very firmly the anti- brigade. Decent on the ground, but pretty poor in the air, he inevitably, although through no real fault of his own, tends to encourage an unhealthy long-ball tendency amongst those behind him.

(Interestingly, I last season heard either Graham Taylor or David Pleat mention on the radio that Crouch’s general uselessness in the air is due to the fact that, as an elongated teen, he rarely had to jump to win headers, and therefore never really worked his lower back, to develop a Les Ferdinand-esque leaping ability.)

AANP’s famous Who Would Buy Him? technique for gauging a player’s quality is already being implemented, with Sunderland and Fulham trying to lasso him. Champions League he ain’t, yet he is one of the few players in whom ‘Arry has gone on record to report interest this summer. I would rather persist with Pav, and have Obika on hand as our fourth striker.